Current
Agreeable.
Go along with the flow.
It’s easier,
Passive.
Do what you’re told.
Lack of initiative,
No determination.
No passion.
No will to live.
Am I even
Is it considered
What is a human, anyway?
Harsh truth or honeyed lies?
The sinking feeling in my chest,
the black hole of apathy within me.
No tears fall, for they aren’t needed,
they’d be a bother to all (wasted pity)
Delusions of power is easier than facing
the life I have, but responsibilities
are a constant wake up call.
Music is my only solace, the only time I feel emotions
other than shallow joy and endless guilt/self-loathing/sadness.
Like a siren call, tempting me to drown in misery
The rush of dopamine my brain is hooked on isn’t any better.
Dreams (no substance) of breaking people objects in anger frustration,
no strength to snap a pen in half if I tried
Harsh truths or honeyed lies?
I don’t know what’s worse —
confirming your pessimistic thoughts,
or living in a false ideal.
black and white and all shades of beige
the light shines at your eyes
photons impossibly bright
your insides a pitch black void
skin is opaque
organs do not need light to function
your heart beats in the dark
when you consume food
it’s the last it will see of the light of day
(I know it’s cliche)
eyes are the window to the soul
the only windows to the outside
two rays of light darting in
no context no clues no answers
your mind makes interpretations
of only refractions/reflections
if you stare at the window long enough
you’ll think your world is as bright
light entering a void
there’s probably juxtaposition somewhere
if only the light your brain knows
isn’t just synapses firing up close
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,203 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Hey there, Rebel here for a short review! :p
Ah, melancholy, perhaps depression in this case. "Go with the flow" in the first stanza reminded me of stoicism ant the Taoist quote. But the following stanzas quickly turned that into despair. And the last stanza expressed hesitation as the poet asked themselves about what it means to be human.
Another interesting yet depressing poem. It's a free verse, yet it has a nice rhythmic beat, as the words flow out naturally. It deals with nihilistic thoughts, and asks in the end if it's better to accept reality and suffer or to live in one's imagination and stay happy (and sane). Well, ignorance is bliss but knowledge is power, it's upon you to decide which to choose.
I like the light allegory in this poem - in eyes, organs, heart, food etc. Again, another free verse with a rhythmic pattern and easy to say out loud. Also, at first, you say that the insides of a person is dark as the skin is opaque, then you state how in respiration reactions, light is produced and it's the last time the organs see the "light of the day". Well, I would like to add something to that - our organs respire all the time, so well, they are always alight - if you think like that, that is. Also, I think the last two stanzas are about the inner light - the light of mind/knowledge/wisdom/enlightenment or whatever you would like to call it.
It was an interesting read. Since I don't like to comment too much on personal poems, my review might be a bit lacking - still, I hope it is of some use to you. Keep writing! :p
P.S.: This review is brought to you by Team Tortoise.
Thanks for the review! Just letting you know that in the second stanza of the last poem, I kind of meant it as it is the last time the food will see of the light of day when it is eaten but ehhh%u2026interpretations are interpretations.
Hey friend, Ellie here to leave a review on this wonderful poem collection of yours
This first poem was really lovely. To me, it feels like just being stuck going throughout life, unable to get out but stuck in the awareness of its constant motion. It feels like a stream, perhaps the stream of consciousness and the stream of life. You cant get out, so you just have to accept what it is: being human. But what does that even mean anymore.
Ahh, I loved this part with the strikethroughs on the words. Anger is hidden. People are perfect, because you will never show how you feel about them and you will never hurt them. The harsh truths or honeyed lies line really stood out to me. What a beautiful phrase!
^^ I love your word choices in these lines! I just wanted to say that I love your writing style and think all of these poems are gorgeous! Overall, wonderful collection. Keep on writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
Thanks for reviewing! Glad you enjoyed!