This is not WW III but it's a war, this is not another Korean war or the Vietnam war either-it's still war- a filthy one- one that took thousands-no,millions, no billions of life. Never heard of this war?
Oh! C'mon, you should know! Look around you- the world has changed by the war, it might not look it has been changed. But without that war, you wouldn't be here-so lonely and about to die. I want you to keep going, trying, making an effort, not just sitting here, it's sad. We have been friends for forever and now you're leaving me. This war should just be stopped altogether, I know you know that you know nothing about the war, but here's one thing-it's deadly.
It has lasted for a hundred years! And for as long as I can remember has killed billions.
You think that's nothing- because you don't what dying is in emotion- it upsets the heart- I want you know-it was ok while it lasted.
But now I have to die- I was legendary in the war- I killed millions and now the war is still going on, if there's no me, then the war will still continue,
I won't take the medicine which prolongs my life and somebody else will take it for I have to die and the somebody is someone who will be brave, gentle,humble,masterful in all art and skill- a soldier and that somebody, my dear friend is you.
I have to go now and you will be a solider but just before you leave- I want to tell you something: Good Luck!
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I have no idea how to be a soldier, I was only an assistant. Working in the military headquarters and right before my master boss died, he told me to be a soldier of soldiers and he even gave me good luck!
How does he trust me? I can't stop this war! I can't kill, I can't make a strategy and I can't do nothing!
Eh-Why would I be a soldier?I will die anyway- like billions of other people- if i was a soldier or not even thought a shorter life will be achieved as a soldier.
I will help around the headquarters! Oh now, no boss, no orders to follow. What if I become a boss and hire a new assistant? Oh! I can't believe how much I will earn then! But because of the war-money will now bring me anything.
Oh! How foolish am I? He gave me an order and he's my boss, I am his assistant and I will be a solider.
Oh boy! The struggles I will feel! I am feeling them already!
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I finally arose to the office after going down several floors by the stairs-yep, no elevator.
I agured to her, the worker, to fire me since my boss died.
I tried not to tell her that he died but if I didn't say that, she would tell me to tell that to my boss, not her.
She told everyone and word got out that I was lying so I could be the boss. So I left and became a soldier-not the government's army-but my self. My self and I.
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I had no gun, no knife, no tank, not even my own punches since I was weak but I knew I will get stronger.
And stronger I got.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Hello, gonna review this piece for you quick!
Overall, I'm not too sure if this makes much sense to me. I get that you're emphasizing war, but I just don't understand specifically what this story is trying to portray. I do like how you started and ended this story though. Especially the ending, when the narrator says they did indeed get stronger. Your story would make more sense, perhaps if you used more description and went about it in more of a story telling form. The way it jumps around confuses me a bit.
Anyway, your story has a lot of potential, so keep writing, and I hope to read more of your work soon!
Ok, time for a review! The first thing I noticed is that your keep saying how deadly it is...a bit too much, so watch that. You didn't do any grammar or spelling mistakes in this, so I'm happy for you! In some sentences, you should put a comma in stead of -
"several floors by the stairs-yep, no elevator."
That's it, I know this was a short review!!!
this sentence does not make logical sense. rewrite it so it is clearer what you mean.
you have already said that it killed trillions or whatever of people, you are taking a step back.
saying "I was too weak even to throw a punch." It sounds better.
"several flights of stairs- yep, no elevator."
Thanks. I put the billion thing to make it seem important.