Hey, I figured I'd leave a quick review on this. To start, there's quite a few grammar mistakes in this. I'm sure you know this and can figure out the mistakes so I won't go through pointing them all out, but if you do want any help with that just ask. Now, your biggest problem with this is how rushed everything is. For everything that goes on in this chapter, it should be six times as long as it is. There's not much description of...well, anything. Not of the setting, of the people, of the crowd, of the smell, of the feeling of the track, all of it. There's not any actions, thoughts, or description shown in the entire conversation between the mother and the Mayor, and it felt very unrealistic. No offense intended, but....none of this felt realistic to me at all. And I don't think the end where the narrator talked directly to the reader worked very well, to be honest. Also, there really wasn't a reason to use parenthesis like you did. Parenthesis are something that should be used very rarely, if at all, because most of the way it's used could be done just as easily with commas or dashes. And now I'm just going to point out how to write a couple parts that would help this improve, though I think this entire thing should be rewritten(again, no offense intended).
"Where were we?
Oh, yes, the mayor.
Well, the mayor, Mr. Wadkins, believes I cheated in a race I won and now has me racing-- again--to prove it. And this said race is going to be starting within the next minute, with the other competitors and myself standing before an entire city's worth of people. Giant screens hang in the stadium, thousands of people in the crowd are screaming, it smells like asphalt and concession stand food, and I can't seem to focus.
I am competing in the *Olympics*, and I can't focus on the one and only thing I have to do: run. No, even as the countdown begins for my race, my mind is everywhere *but* running.
'Five!'
*Where is Mom?*
'Four!'
*I still can't find her. Where the hell is she?*
'Three!'
*Oh, there she is, thank god.*
'Two!'
*Wait...is that the mayor she's next to?*
'One!'
*Why is she with him?*
The gunshot goes off, jolting me out of my thoughts and ringing in my ears as I take off."
Even as it's written here, it's still very rushed, but this is an example of how to better write it as it is if you're stuck on leaving it like it is. Though, like I said, I suggest rewriting the entire chapter, but that's up to you. Now I thought I'd show you a little bit more of what I mean with the conversation between the mayor and the mother.
"'The race is looking really intense,' I say, glancing at (protagonist)'s mother before going right back to the race. Her compelling perfume combined with her silky skin, long dark, wavy hair, and aging but still model-like features makes it hard to stay focused, but Luke winning the race is what's most important to me.
'Yes, it is.'
Her voice sounds like honey as she answers, as it usually does, and I find myself turning to look at her for a second time.
'Ma'am, why did you not get married again?'
Her brows furrow and now it's her turn to stray away from the race and look at me. Her light brown eyes that I can see my own reflection in meet mine. 'Why are you asking me this?'"
That's all I'm gonna do, unless you want me to do more, but I think you get the point. And I didn't know the narrator's name or what the mother looked like so I just made something up for the latter and wrote (protagonist) for the narrator. I'm not sure whether or not the mayor is supposed to feel attracted to his mom from what you wrote, but since it sounded like he might've been that's how I wrote it.
So, hopefully this helped you somehow. Your main problems are how unrealistic and rushed this feels. Hope I didn't come across too harsh, and if you need help, want me to review or edit something, just want to talk, or whatever else, just let me know and I'd be happy to. Good luck! 
Points: 73
Reviews: 53
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