The sun sets behind the mountain,
casting shadows all around.
Making pink clouds and a pink sky
Sitting on the hill I dream of faraway places,
just waiting to be found.
Then winter comes, cold and snowy,
and then I think how nice it is to be home,
Where the fire blazes warm and inviting,
and all is snug and calm.
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
I really like this poem, although I do have a couple of suggestions. First of all, in the line "making pink clouds and pink sky" I recommend to either add another word in front of pink sky or add an s after sky to make that line flow more smoothly. Next, I think it would be nice if there was a comma after the phrase sitting on the hill, but you don't have to do this. Other than those minor details, I think that as a whole this was a successful poem, and I look forward to reading more of you works.
Sorry, I posted the same message twice, my computer was glitching.
I really like this poem, although I do have a couple of suggestions. First of all, in the line "making pink clouds and pink sky" I recommend to either add another word in front of pink sky or add an s after sky to make that line flow more smoothly. Next, I think it would be nice if there was a comma after the phrase sitting on the hill, but you don't have to do this. Other than those minor details, I think that as a whole this was a successful poem, and I look forward to reading more of you works.
Heyy...MockingJay!!!!
Your poem looked flawless to me.Loved the way you used nature to describe one's longingness to return home(in my case).You indeed are an amazing writer. "Where the fire blazes warm and inviting,and all is snug and calm." I totally loved that part. It added to beauty of the poem.
Love your poem..Keep posting more.Eager to have them.
Once again ,your an awesome writer.
-Lily^_^
Thank you! I've got one ready and I can't wait to get reviews on it, Just need to rack up some points to post it.
. I hope that when I get it posted, It'll reach out to readers like i hope it will. I based it off my experiences, so, Wait and see! 
Dead Eager!!!!!!!!!!:P
Hey Mockingjay!!
I like this poem, it's really accurate. I get that feeling a lot when I think. I do have some suggestions for you though!
Welcome to YWS.
I think something you could have in the poem is stronger imagery. There's emotion here, but you need to pull it out, strengthen it with your imagery. Sure, we can all imagine a pink sky and mountains. But tell us more! What do you specifically envision? For example, there's a big difference between something like this:
"The flaming sun sets behind the jagged peak
Casting long shadows nearly as dark as night,
Burning pink sky reflected in the clouds."
Aaand this:
"The sun shines a dull red as it sank behind the mountain
Soft shadows growing darker
The sky turning the pale pink of roses and settling on the clouds."
Just something to think about- with distinct words you can nudge the readers in any direction you want! Think about the emotion you want to come across, and how you envision the scene yourself.
For the latter half of this poem, I think you could work the contrast you made a little more. What made the narrator want to leave before? What makes the narrator want to stay now? Highlight that difference and bring it out! I think it's the most important in this piece, along with the imagery of home. That is, after all, your poem title. Maybe you could squeeze in that home is taken for granted until you don't have it anymore- I thin that's a theme that could fit nicely with your poem.
Anyway, I think this is a great start, but just work to make it a bit stronger! I know you can.
Best of luck,
-Falco
Thank you! Thank you! I am open to any advice.
Hello their, my name is GoldenArrow but you can call me Gold
great work, I am looking forward to reading more of your work 
wow, I really like this poem, it makes me feel so relaxed, and well, at home XD.
I like the setting you put the poem in and how it makes you feel calm and relaxed, how you feel so little dread and worry like, "what is this about?" "wait what?" you no stuff like that, its just nice and peaceful
have a nice day and keep writing!
# GoldenArrow
Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear it.
hi! MagicAce hear to do a review
So I think you did pretty good, I could only find a few problems so I'm just ganna go ahead and tell you thoughs.
"Making pink clouds and pink sky."
instead of "and pink sky." maybe it should be "Making pink clouds and a beautiful pink sky"
and "Just waiting to be found" that's good, but why are you waiting to be found? you no I am just wandering about that part a little bit.
ad I liked the ret like "Where the fire blazes warm and inviting" I liked that a lot, and I liked the whole thing, just think a little on what I said
have a nice day and keep on writing!
MagicAce out!
Thank you! I just got started, so I am open to advice.
cool!