You used to acknowledge me,
You used to say 'hi' when
You walked in the door,
And saw me sitting there
In the chair, in the corner.
It's like I'm a ghost.
~
You look at me, but it feels
Like you don't see me,
Am I a ghost?
~
You don't talk to me,
Unless I talk to you,
Even then it's like
You don't really hear;
I'm nothing but a ghost.
~
Your silence cuts into me,
The pain consumes me,
I wish you would tell me,
What happened, what I did.
~
I try to cry, but cannot,
The pain has won.
I can't even bring forth a tear,
No matter how hard I try.
This is why I'm now a ghost.
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139,650 Literary Works • 672,643 Reviews
Ayoooo MidnightMoon! Aleta here for a brief review on your poem for Review Day. I'll get straight into first impressions. This reminds me of that silly childish game played back in elementary when someone would pretend you weren't there and would completely ignore you. Until they gave up and finally admitted they could see you. This poem reminds me of the same thing, except there's never that relief in the ending like "oh okay! they really saw me all along!" Your poem delivers on theme and sticks to the title very well. Although you don't plague your poem with descriptions, you leave the reader to imagine a girl walking in the hallways trying to look for acknowledgement from this one guy she really likes. In the end she's dissapointed and left emotionless because he never said a word.
Sorry I couldn't find anything to critique on. Cheers!
Hi I am prakhar. The title attracted me towards your poem "ghost", it's a good one but in laast paragraph fist line if you used "can't" in place of cannot it would be more bettere , and second thing you should not make symbols like that . Still it was a good poem ,I like it .
Hi, J here for a review.
I love this poem and it felt like it was written about me and for me. I saw that you were trying to talk about a crush that used to speak to you then he just stopped(happened to me to sister) he started treating you like you were invisible. Great flow and good rhyme. Your rhyming was interupted very few times so that was good. Sorry if that was not very helpful:(
Good Job and Keep Writing!!
Legacy here for a review.
I love the content. I could easily read the story behind it. And I can relate to that a lot actually.
You seem to have some spots that you have periods where you could have a comma or a semicolon instead. (you can read and find the spots that I am talking about.)
Your word choice works with the content and it helps the mood of it. You also have the imagery and the emotion. Legacy.
Midnightmoon
Hi I am Ishan212 and I am here to review your poem Ghost.
When I read your title, I thought the poem would be about a real ghost or something supernatural.
But it dealt with a completely different topic.
Personally I was unable to figure out what this poem was about, even after my repetitive trials.
However I liked the usage of the phrase 'I am a ghost' in your poem.
It is rather unique to pick up phrases from day to day life and write poems on them.
A wonderful poem.
If I had understood it well I would have written more about it. So it's just a literary comment not a proper review
Keep Writing!!!!
Thanks
Ishan
PS: Please let me know the meaning of your poem, so that I can review it better.
I'm sorry I made it so confusing. I was trying to get across about this boy I like, How he used to say hi, acknowledge me, and now he doesn't....like i'm a ghost. I hope this helped! and thank you!