Published April 6, 2022
I was manhandled back into my glorified cell. All feeling had drained out of me and I didn’t even flinch when the heavy door clanged shut, locking me inside. Dropping to the floor, I crawled back over to my spot against the wall and rested there.
I knew I should have been feeling something. Fear? Dread? But all I could think about was how Kaspar had sold me out. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know that life he was bargaining was my best friend’s. Even if the leader had been a stranger, he really expected me to give them up and live with that guilt for the rest of my life? The life I should not even have?
As I sat there, a dull acceptance settled within me. I was so cold and so tired it only felt right to lose all feelings- to make my heart as numb as my toes. This was how I was going to die. By the hands of my lover’s father. How tragic. How theatrical. It was a fitting end. Although, I doubted it would be by the king’s actual hands, most likely my flame would be gutted by a dark, hooded figure. Executioners. Now that was an elusive job.
What exactly did executioners do in their free time? I suppose they just had normal lives outside of their killing. What made them happy? Were they friends with the king? Is he as close to his executioners as he is to his fools?
Footsteps sounded down the corridor outside, coming closer. I recognised the soft scuff and sharp click of the powerful strides. The door unlocked and swung open. I watched from my place on the cold floor as Kaspar swept into the room, a thick quilted blanket of lush orange clutched in a fist. He had lost his tailcoat, the sleeves of his shirt wrinkled from rolling them up. Behind him, the guard stood in the doorway, hand ready on his short sword.
Kaspar dropped the blanket and I scooped it up instantly, wrapping it around my whole body before tucking my purple feet inside. I couldn’t feel the material but I guessed it was silky soft. He dropped to his knees before me.
“You’ve changed your mind,” he stated, his big hand tucking my hair behind my ear. It had dried now and it felt frizzy and unkempt. The words left no room for disagreement but still, I shook my head.
His jaw set. “What has happened to you? Why are you so defeatist?” His tone was bladed. “This is not a joke, Wally. This is your life. He will kill you if you don’t give him that name.”
“Delphine wasn’t there.”
The change in subject caught him off-guard. He blinked, confused. A sick laugh escaped me.
“So she doesn’t find out about us, I’m guessing? So Cedric can keep this little affair hidden? You both seriously underestimate her.”
Kaspar’s eyebrows furrowed. I locked eyes with him.
“She knows, Kaspar. She’s known for a while now.”
He sank onto his heels, realisation blanching his face.
“She knows..? Does King Oldin know?”
I shook my head. “She’s a lot smarter than you give her credit for.” The words were barbed, meant to cut deep. I wasn’t sure when exactly I had sided with Delphine. Perhaps clarity came from death looming around the corner. “So if Cedric’s decision to be rid of me is a way to save your sham of a marriage, well, it will make no shred of difference.”
His eyes roved my face but I could see him thinking. He was trying to figure out what this new information meant to him, to us, to the kingdom.
“Why… why hasn’t she said anything? I had no idea.” The strength in his tone had dissipated. There was a fragility about him now that threatened to thaw my stony resolve.
“Because she’s a good person. She likes you. And she’s a good leader. And I’m… what we have… its inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.”
“How could you say that?”
“This couldn’t ever go anywhere. We’ve been living a fantasy on borrowed time. Perhaps that time is simply up. We both knew that this was going to end somehow. Why not like this?”
I could almost hear the trickling of the last sands in the hourglass running out.
A storm of anger and horror clouded Kaspar’s eyes. He lunged for me, gripping my shoulders over the blanket.
“You can’t- I can’t. I can’t watch you die!” he roared.
“And I can’t live without you!” The admittance ripped out of me like a wild animal finally breaking free. My throat burned, the claws shredding my insides. I felt raw, spent and utterly and completely terrified. “You think your father will let us go near each other after this?” Spittle flew from my mouth, my words brittle and wet. “Even if I do give you the name, it doesn’t matter. It’s done. It’s over.”
He gathered me up in his arms, the blanket an unwanted barrier between us. I wriggled free from the heavy folds to slip my arms around his waist. His face buried in my neck and the wetness of his cheeks against my jaw unstopped the tears pressed behind my eyes. I shook in his hold and he held me tighter. I sensed the desperation within him, could feel the clatter of his pounding heart against my own.
“I’ll think of something,” he murmured, wet lips against the curve of my throat. “I’m not letting you go.”
.
.
Chapter 17
Guest of Honour
The meal I was given was much like the scraps Kaspar used to secretly feed me the nights of banquets. The sun had gone down and my only source of light was the filtered shine of the moon through the bars of my little window. Hugging the blanket as tightly about my body as I could, I settled myself into the corner and waited for sleep to come. I was not sure how long the king would keep me in here; I guessed it depended on how badly he wanted to kill me. Part of me wished I had been thrown into the common cells with the others. I would have at least been able to say my goodbyes to Alta. But what was going to happen to them after I was killed? I would still not have given him Mirabelle’s name, and it was pretty hard to get a name from a dead man. Did Cedric really think a harsh night in this cell would be enough to break me? I had lived in smelly Greysmarsh for the first seventeen years of my life; it would take more than numb feet for me to send my best friend to the gallows.
I slept in fits and starts, my mind never shutting off long enough to let me rest. When I awoke seeking my jug of water, throat so parched it stung, I noticed the room was getting brighter with the rising sun. My bones creaked as I crawled across the floor to my drink, my bruises and welts seemingly getting worse rather than better over time. Not that it mattered. Who cared how a man looked when a noose was placed around his throat? I spat up my water, my throat closing at the image that invaded my mind.
The courtyard outside began to wake and I watched pensively as boots clipped past my window. Hours must have gone by- so many that my stomach began to growl for breakfast- before the door to my cell opened once more.
My heart leapt to my throat at the sight of Kaspar, dressed simply in a stiff, white shirt and slim, dark britches with golden filigree detailing the high waist. He looked sombre, a dark shadow cast beneath his emerald eyes.
“I should have known,” he said, stepping into the room.
Bundling myself back into my blanket, I waited for him to continue.
“Mirabelle.”
My heart stuttered at the name. He chewed his bottom lip, eyes downcast.
“I should have known you would have done anything to protect her.”
Ice spread through my veins. “How-?”
“Father sent out a warrant for the arrest of the leader, claiming that if they didn’t turn themselves in, he was going to severely punish the protesters in his cells. She confessed.”
Of course, she confessed. My thoughts slid through my mind like waste down the street gutters as I tried to piece together what this meant.
“She’s going to die,” I said hollowly, my throat dry once again.
Kaspar hugged himself, the thick muscles of his arms bulging as he clasped his biceps.
“She’s going to trial now. I’ll keep you updated.”
I nodded, unsure of what else to say.
“Father is still figuring out what to do with you,” Kaspar continued, sensing my question that I refused to pass my lips. This wasn’t the time to talk about myself. He disappeared into the corridor then came back with a plate of bread and cheese. Dropping to a knee, he placed the plate before me like an owner to his pet. “I’m trying my best to convince him to let you go, but he is a stubborn man.”
I nodded stiffly, taking the bread.
With one last mournful look, he left and the guard locked the door behind him.
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
Hi MissGangamash,
Mailice here with a short review!
It took me a while to find the right words to write what I want to write here. Let's start with what I noticed positively and forget that this is chapter 16 and the transition to the next chapter.
I am surprised about Kaspar's visit and how he talks to Wally. I wouldn't have expected that after we get another glimpse into his own thoughts and how he imagines perishing in the cell. I like how Wally's question here has also come straight to the answer about Lady Delphine and would have expected to learn perhaps more. She continues to be an interesting and mysterious figure.
But I also noticed, and this is true for both parts of the chapter, that the pace had increased somewhat. The dialogue between Kaspar and Wally was well constructed, but for me the emotional moments were lacking or could have been developed a little more. I felt like we were working through the end of the story here all at once without staying further into the characters.
I also found the transition between Wally's thoughts and Kaspar's appearance in chapter 16 a bit too short-winded and think it would have done well to stay in Wally's inner world for a bit longer or at least indicate in more detail that we have been in the cell for a few hours now.
Chapter 17 took me by surprise, especially because Mirabelle turned herself in and I think that has unexpected effects on Wally and the course of the plot. I liked how the pace picked up a bit here and how we saw more detail about what Wally is thinking and how he envisions his future. I thought you also came back very much in terms of writing style, as in previous parts.
I'm still curious about the development of the story and how it will go on with Wally. In summary, I thought it was a good part here, but I was a bit disturbed by the pace in the first half, because it felt different than usual.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
The change in pace for the end of chapter 16 was to show Wallace's deterioration. He has completely lost hope and is simply waiting to die at that point.
Sorry you thought the emotional moment was lacking! For me, Wallace's admittance that he cannot live without Kaspar was short, simple and to the point. And for anyone else, it could have been seen as cliche but for Wallace, he truly believes in. Earlier in the story he even mentions how he waits for Kaspar to visit him just so he can feel that he means something to someone. So what would it mean for him if they never saw each other again? This is the second time in as many chapters that Wallace has had an outburst of real and honest emotion.
Hi MissGangamash!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
I was wrong in the previous chapter when I said things could not get any worse for Wallace. Apparently, they can. Since this is divided into two chapters, I am going to review each one separately!
Chapter 16:
Wallace claims that he was feeling numb, but for some reason, I felt as if his thoughts were a little more clear and concise than in the previous part. In the previous part, he was more or less stuck inside a shell, operating like an emotionless robot who does not really realize what is happening around him, but goes along with it all the same. Until that moment the King offered that deal to him, he was quiet and calmly accepting of his fate. However, when they included his best friend in the deal, he got enraged and suddenly everything he had kept bottled down burst out of him in a bout of anger.
In this part, however, now that he is very sure of where he stands and what he is willing to give up or rather not give up, there is a sense of calmness about him that wasn't there before. Before, there was this feeling of detachment within him that kept him within his own self-created armor of denial. But now, he is actually here. He still has not really processed what is about to happen and I think we can see that in his random thoughts about the executioners. At first, I was a little confused about the randomness of his thoughts as I could not understand the point behind them. But on my second reread, I realized that there was a difference in Wallace's emotions. In the previous part, he had surrendered to his fate, but after that confrontation with the King, he had simply accepted his fate, because he knows there is no way he would give up Mirabelle, for no matter what reason. Maybe that is why his thoughts are more calm. That is why he can find it within himself to distract himself with mindless thoughts to replace the vacancy that had been there before when he had no idea what was going on.
There was a bitterness about his thoughts in this part that really got to me. His anger towards Kaspar is more evident in this part. In fact, all his emotions are a little clearer after the shift in his priorities in the first half. Even, though he was very determined not to acknowledge his feelings, I liked the fact how at times his emotions simply crept up in the narration as if they had slipped past his efforts at distraction.
Somehow, you conveyed Wallace's emotions very perfectly through this single exclamation. Throughout their entire interaction, we could sense a kind of bitterness in his words. He brought up Delphine's knowledge of their affair to simply draw some kind of a reaction from Kaspar and revel in his confusion. He was bitterly satisfied at Kaspar's confounded reaction and he just wanted him to feel some semblance of the emotional turmoil and hurt that he was experiencing. However, in this single moment we can see him give up on his attempts to maintain that cool and calm facade of his, and his emotions simply escape from him. We see him more vulnerable in that moment before Kaspar than we have ever seen him before. Even when he threw Kaspar out of his house before his arrest or even back when he fled after spending the night with him, Wallace had been vulnerable, but in both those times his vulnerability had been borne from his insecurities and the rising conflict inside him. This time, however we see him raw and open and completely honest about his feelings.
A tiny nitpick here, but the word 'unstopped' felt a little awkward in this sentence. Maybe replace it with plain old 'released' : "His face buried in my neck and the wetness of his cheeks against my jaw 'released' the tears pressed behind my eyes."
Chapter 17:
Somehow, for all his previous attempts of maintaining his cool, Wallace seemed just empty after Kaspar told him about Mirabelle. At first, I was a bit miffed by his lack of reaction, as internally even I was freaking out. But then, the hollowness with which he asked Kaspar about her and the way he did not even protest because he knew how hopeless it was made me realize how bad this is going to break him. I really liked how you presented this transition despite merging two chapters into this one. The change in him was very obvious in subtle ways that would only connect with Wallace.
Again, in this part I was annoyed at his compliancy as I simply wanted him to rebel against the Palace in some way. But then I read the part again, and I realized his taking the bread which Kaspar had offered him like 'food given to a pet by his owner' (his own words), kind of signifies that he has no option but to accept whatever is handed to him right now. He is helpless, like a pet is, and the complete lack of emotions in him was even more terrifying in that moment. We can draw another parallel for the bread - his accepting it kind of also reflects the relationship between him and Kaspar; how he has always had no option other than to accept the scrapes that Kaspar was able to provide while being married to another woman. No matter which way you see it, it is still enormously sad.
Overall, these were two intense chapters and I wish I could say I know what is going to happen next. This downhill journey has been going on for a long time now, and we already know that something is going to happen because of all the guilt 'present Wallace' carries. It seems like we are waiting for that other shoe to drop now and I find myself trapped between simultaneously wishing for it to be just over already or snatching away Wallace to some place else so that he doesn't have to face it when it does happen.
Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I am totally never going to forgive you if you kill off Mirabelle!
Keep writing and have a great day!
Until next time!
Wallace most definitely has accepted his fate. He knows his own limitations enough to not even play with the idea that he has any chance of getting out of this situation.
I'm glad Wallace's exclamation packed a punch! I wanted his admittance to be as raw as I could make it. And you're totally right, he has been vulnerable in other parts of the story but there has been a coating around them - a misunderstanding or him simply causing a problem that wasn't there. But this is real, the most real he has ever been and in the most real situation he has even been in.
Wallace's lack of reaction to Mirabelle sentence was to reflect the hopelessness of the situation and to reiterate that Wallace knows there is no point in anything anymore. And deep down, he knew this was going to happen. He has warned Mirabelle several times of how dangerous it was. Now he's living in it. It's happened, just like he knew it would.
I love your analogy of the bread! I hadn't even thought of it like that but you are totally right. Wallace has always just been accepting whatever Kasper was giving hm - if it was the scraps after the banquets when he lived in the palace, him coming to Wallace's home only when Kaspar was able to sneak off. He's even admitted that he yearned for Kaspar's attention, needing it just to prove that he actually existed. In a way, he honestly believes that without Kaspar, he would simply stop being.
The next chapters up, and I'm a bit scared XD
Hey! Salis here with another review!
Wallace's mind skipping from the thought of executioners coming to take is life to thinking about whay they do in their free time was a small detail, but one I greatly enjoyed. I feel like it could be more significant than initially given credit for, as it is often said people show their true nature when faced with dire circumstances. The protagonist is in quite a pinch at the moment and here he is thinking about the daily life of executioners rather than focusing on the high possibility of his own life ending. Makes one think he has come to terms with dying. Is it because of Kaspar's betrayal which broke him, or perhaps the reason lies somewhere in the past?
The reunion between Wallace and Kaspar was the outlet for the feelings both had held pent-up inside and I think that's the highlight of the chapter for me. It was just so painful and beautiful at the same time. And left me completely unprepared for the revelation of Chapter 17.
Although such a turn of events had always been possible, I had kept it at the back of my mind with the hope that it would never actually happen. Wallace had suffered enough from being betrayed by Kaspar, but to know Mirabelle, who was willing to protect at all costs, also faced death is just too much. He may be impervious to the physical tortures of his imprisonment, but when his heart is wounded so many times in short succession, anything can happen. More than that, he can no longer be of any use to the king and that makes me worry about his fate even more.
Hopefully things can turn around for both him and Mirabelle somehow (though as cold as it may sound, if I had to choose between them, I would prefer that Wallace lived, mainly because I'm more intrigued by his character), so they can survive and gain their freedom soon enough.
Thank you for the great chapter(s)! Keep at it!!
Hello!
The bit about Wallace's mind wandering to silly little things was again to show how he compartmentalises to try and make himself not feel things too much. He's constantly trying to distract himself with whimsy but then at the end of the chapter he just can't keep up the charade and blurts out just how terrified he really is.
Poor Wallace