I watched the sunrise through the trees from the stoop at my front door, a blanket draped over my shoulders. Somehow the nap had made me even more tired but my mind refused to shut off long enough for me to actually get some decent rest.
Still wearing the same clothes, I headed to Mirabelle’s farmhouse, acutely aware of how strongly they smelled of smoke and disaster.
My frantic knock was met by the tentative voice of Laina.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Wallace. Is Mirabelle there? Is she safe?”
The door swung open. Fingers twisted into my shirt front and I was pulled inside.
“She’s all right. She’s all right. Are you all right?” She fussed over me in such a motherly way that my heartstrings pulled tightly at the sudden memory of Mrs. Treager and her slightly heavy-handed check-overs after my childhood days of causing mayhem.
“Yes, I managed to get away while the guards were grabbing people. So she didn’t get taken?”
Guiding me to a chair, she shoved me down and took the chair opposite.
“No, no. She got away. She’s out checking on the others.”
“She’s out?” My nostrils flared but I schooled my anger. “She should be in hiding! They’ll grab her off the street.”
Laina shook her head. “You know Mirabelle, she’s stubborn. She put them in this mess. She couldn’t just sit back and do nothing.”
My heart sank like a stone in a pond.
“Well, I just came to check she wasn’t taken.” I got to my feet and saw Elias in bed. The windows were covered with sheets of burlap to keep the morning light out as he slept. Had he been sleeping this entire time? “I’m going to go.”
Laina nodded rubbing her hands together in an attempt to bring some warmth to them.
“Thank you for coming over. I’m glad you’re safe.” She worried her lips. “I really didn’t think the guards would be so rough. What do you think has happened to those they caught?”
I swallowed hard. “I’m not sure.”
Her head bounced in the imitation of a nod but it looked like her mind had already exited the conversation. I mumbled another goodbye and left.
I caught Mirabelle on her way back home. The bag she had slung over her shoulder dropped to the dirt road and she ran, flinging her arms around me.
“They didn’t get you!” she rushed out a relieved breath.
I clutched onto her, the sharpness of her shoulder blades taking me by surprise. Then she yanked me back, holding me at arm’s length.
“I can’t believe that happened. Oh, it was awful. Aileen, Morgan and Sinley are a little banged up. Some bruises and swelling from the tussle.” She seemed to then realise she was touching me and quickly released her hold.
“It was a little more than a tussle.”
She crossed her arms tightly across her thin chest as if to keep them under control. She had changed into an oversized lavender shirt tucked into dark britches.
“They took so many of us. The guards… them coming all the way here… that means the palace are listening to us, though, right?”
The hope shining in her eyes doused my body in ice.
“Right.”
“And we weren’t doing anything wrong. We were just marching. It got a little out of hand but… they’re not going to do anything to them, are they?”
I didn’t know what to say.
She hugged herself even tighter. I could see the ridges of her bones her low neckline failed to conceal.
“Oh, this is all my fault. They’ve been taken because of me! And I got away! I should have done more when the guards came. I should have fought back.”
“Fought the guards? No, you absolutely should not have done that.”
“But I ran…” She continued her worried rambling. “I can’t believe I ran. What kind of person runs away at a time like that? After everything. I thought I would be brave if anything were to happen. That I would stick up for myself. Hold our ground. I was supposed to be their leader and I abandoned them. Oh, what must the think of me?”
“You’ve been to check up on the rest of them?”
She nodded. “There’s only a few of the original group left. The guards seemed to have taken a lot of the people who joined us at the square. I’ve told them to keep a low profile.”
“That’s wise.”
“They’ll be all right. The ones they’ve taken. They’re not in trouble, right? You’ve lived in the palace. You know what goes on in there.”
“I was just the court jester,” was all I felt comfortable offering. The truth was that there was a very high chance they were in a lot of trouble, and by the way her eyes skittered over the dirt and the desperate hold she had on herself told me she was not as naïve as she was trying to convey.
A silence fell between us, full of unspoken words. I dug my hand into my pocket and fished out the purse of change I always carried. Her eyes lifted at the sound of clinking coins. I held out the purse to her.
“For the three of you. Make sure to get Elias a good meal. Tell him it’s from me. It’s my treat and I will not take no for an answer.”
A weak smile twitched at the corner of her thin lips and she released the hold on herself just long enough to snatch up the little leather pouch.
“What makes you think he’ll listen to you?” she murmured, peeking at me through her eyebrows.
“Because if he doesn’t, I’ll come round and beat him up.” I raised my shockingly white, bony fist and shook it with a look of grim determination. “Oh, he’d be sorry he ever disobeyed my orders.”
A loud snort took us both by surprise. Mirabelle’s eyes grew huge as her hands flew to her nose.
“That’s from living on a farm,” I said.
She chuckled, punching me lightly in the shoulder.
“Saying that, I should get back. Hey, where are you living now? I was going to stop by on my rounds but then realised I don’t even know your address.”
I shrugged, aloof. “Oh, you know, just here and there.” I started lazily continuing my way towards the square. “Just wherever the wind takes me.”
I picked up her forgotten bag, shoving in the contents that were threatening to spill out. Bandages. Scissors. A tincture for pain relief.
Mirabelle grabbed the bag off me and slung it back over her narrow shoulder. “Well, aren’t you a mystery wrapped up inside a conundrum?”
“That I am.” I grinned, walking backwards. “That I am.”
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137,681 Literary Works • 672,057 Reviews
Hi MissGangamash,
Mailice here with a short review!
This was an unusual second half of the chapter, but a well-chosen one nonetheless. It seems as if Wally is trying to put his thoughts into words, and yet he doesn't manage it directly. He shows compassion and somehow tries to clear up a "debt", and yet there remains a bitter aftertaste in the back of my mind.
I think it's been a while since we've had such an intense part where the dialogue was in the foreground and not directly Wally's thoughts or his feelings. I thought that was extremely good, especially because here we could see him trying to express those thoughts in words and show his concern.
But we also see a bit of doubt from Mirabelle, which I really like. She still seems very shocked by what happened and how quickly everything escalated, and think it's also a good step for her to move forward. I especially liked here how she and Wally had a conversation and he showed his doubts in his mind.
I think the only bright spot we had in this part was how Wally wanted to pay for the food for Elias. It showed me that he was trying to "buy his way out" somehow and yet something still lingers there.
I've reached a point where I can't quite place where this chapter is in the overall story and how it will play out in the future. It seems to me that Wally has to start enjoying every little interaction with his friends, because it seems to me that there are dark storm clouds appearing.
One thing I noticed here while reading:
Tiny typo here.
In summary, a good ending to the chapter with a great tone after the previous events.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
There are definitely dark times yet to come so I'm glad you sense it brewing from here. I agree that in this scene he is trying to express his thoughts and feelings through words too. Things have gone too far, he can sense that it's far from over.
Thanks for the read and review!
Wallace shows he cares through actions rather than words throughout the story, like making Mirabelle's sign, and giving money to her and Alta.
So I haven't read this story at all but the title has serious Mark Lawrence vibes and I totally dig it!
I can safely say our tones are vastly different but I'm glad you like the title haha
Hi MissGangamash!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
This was a very fitting conclusion to the chapter and the entire scene with the protest as well. Of course, Wallace is yet to face the consequences of exactly what had happened but I liked the way you ended the chapter here.
My first impression of this chapter was that it was shorter than your usual ones. However, the shortness of the length of this chapter seems to be an accompanying shadow of the protest that happened, or rather the after-shocks. This entire part was almost evanescent, there was a feeling of apathy with which Wallace functioned in the entire part. He still seems to be shell-shocked and has distanced himself from his emotions in some effort to mentally protect himself from the consequences of what happened. It seems like he keeps himself from feeling anything just so he does not have to feel too much. He has a habit of avoiding his problems until they go away. It explains why he always keeps these little conflicts wrapped up inside himself until they explode (like it happened with Kaspar), and it also puts his running away from the protest in a new light.
Wallace has always been a little theatric in his thoughts and observations of others. However, in this part, his reactions and observations are presented in short sentences and it very accurately reciprocates the state of his mind. His thoughts have a fleeting quality to them and even though we see through his eyes and hear him speak and think, we still get the feeling that he was not really in the moment. It is interesting because many times, I got the feeling, that if this was under normal circumstances, Wallace would have expanded on this thought, he would have drawn this analogy and he would have made that remark. It is interesting because it shows how familiar you have made us become with the character, to the point that we are able to anticipate his thoughts and responses.
There were several points in this part, when I got the feeling that Wallace was seeing Mirabelle for the first time. It seems that his realization that Mirabelle is now a grown woman has robbed him off the rose-tinted glasses with which he used to view her and now he is seeing who she has become and not just who she used to be. He is always noticing these small details about the hollowness of her physique in the back of his mind, and its like he is realizing only now the toll all this has had on his best friend. Some of his observations were so subtly made that it almost felt involuntary to me, like he could not help but notice the differences in her anymore. It concluded well with the part where he lends her some money as we realized that his observations were not just for nothing.
I really liked this entire conversation with Mirabelle. We get a look inside both their minds in this scene. We get to hear Wallace's thoughts through his narration and we get to hear Mirabelle's thoughts through her dialogue. I was almost glad that you kept Wallace as more of a passive participant in the conversation. It put more focus on Mirabelle and for the first time we got to see more of her vulnerable side. Mirabelle has always been posed as such a strong and fierce individual that I often forget the fact that she is a human as well. She feels things as much as the rest of us, and maybe just like Wally hides inside himself from feeling, she does the same by taking up a cause and giving her all into it. However, now that the dust has settled and the casualties have been laid bare in front of her, she cannot hep but realize the consequences of her actions. She cannot necessarily be blamed for the way things ended, but this was a learning moment for her as well.
Coming to Wallace, he was almost impassive through the entire conversation. He did not exactly try to comfort Mirabelle or tell her that everything was alright, but he did not accuse her for not listening to him either. He was still in the limbo state where he mostly listened to her without much input. I appreciated the fact that he did not offer her any empty assurances and preferred to be silent rather than dishonest. This way, we do not get to learn how he is truly feeling about all this, but at the same time, we understand more about his character and his personality and how he deals with life.
This was the point where I realized that nobody except for Kaspar knows where Wallace lives. If I remember correctly, he lives in a remote area so that people can never see Kaspar coming in and out of his home. But no one ever asked him to keep his living space a secret, did they? I don't know, but this realization made me a little sad until I thought of the fact that Wallace just might prefer it this way. He is always playing different roles with different people, and maybe his home is the one safe sanctuary where he can just be himself. It explains why he did not want to tell Mirabelle where he lives. It also shows that Wallace feels alone, because most of the time, he is the one who alienates himself from the world.
Overall, this was a really great conclusion to the chapter. I have a feeling that this entire thing with the protests is far from over. We have yet to find out what is going to happen to all the captures one, but given present Wallace's extreme guilt in himself, I am going to say its nothing good. Still you have built the story very well until this very point where all the tension culminated and changed everything. I am excited to see where we go from here.
That's all!
Keep writing and have a great day!
Until next time!
Hello!
I love how you analyse the narrative so much. I think a lot of it is second nature to me when I'm in Wallace's mind so I don't really think about it and then when you point stuff out I'm like... wait a damn minute, that's so true XD
With all the secrets Wallace has bottled up, I think he's sometimes afraid of talking in case it all comes spilling out - especially when he's in the company of the people he is closest to.
Yeah, Wallace doesn't exactly need to keep where he lives a secret but it is best for him and Kaspar. And you're right about him needing that seclusion. It's something he craves but hates at the same time - the way he is slightly set apart from everything and everyone else. You can also say that, as much as his relationship with Kaspar is the best thing he's got going in his life, it is also the biggest thing that is contributing to that separation from everything else.
And things are most definitely far from over...
Thanks for the review!
Hey! Salis here with a review!!
It's a great relief that Mirabelle wasn't taken and Wallace was reunited with her so he could find some comfort amidst the pain the people around him suffered only the previous night. Still, others were not so lucky and I fear for what their fate will be now that they've been taken to the palace.
I like the way you highlighted the contrast between how Mirabelle thought she was going to behave and what actually occured. That showed she's just a normal person doing what she can in the situation she's found herself in rather than some fearless hero. Her reaction was completely natural for me and it seems Wallace thinks the same, but the one who will be the most judgemental towards her will always be Mirabelle herself. It doesn't look like she will be leading another march any time soon considering the guilt she feels, but one can never know for sure.
Reflecting on what happened, no matter how painful, may be the best thing she can do for now, though, so she can decide what path she'll take from here. And right now there are more important things, like helping the people who were wounded and making sure everyone's safe. It's also good to know she has Wallace by her side to cheer her up every now and then, because it is clear that all the people here need some laughter in their lives, probably now more than ever.
As for the secrets he's keeping from her, I wonder when she'll uncover them and what her reaction will be ...?
Thank you for the great chapter! Keep at it!!
Hello!
I try to make all my characters as realistic as possible and I think we've all be in situations where we thought we were going to act differently than how we did in the moment. As much as Mirabelle is strong and brave, she is also just a person faced against the palace.
When you need some laughter in your life, Wallace is willing to provide! They may have grown apart and Mirabelle may not be the same girl he left at Greysmarsh, but beneath it all, they still have that easy comradery of livelong friends.
Thanks so much for the review! Glad you're enjoying the read!