when I stop writing
i get scared.
i see those other artists,
drawing pictures,
playing instruments,
living their dreams.
how can i pursue my dreams when
i can't mindlessly write in the middle of class
like an artist draws doodles on the sides of her paper
or a musician writes chords and song lyrics
why can't I write a short story ideas
on the palm of my hand
in the middle of math
or make poems
on the back of a test
to have the teacher hide a smile
as they read my work
how am I supposed to write
when school rules my life
and once I stop writing
words seem to scare me
they taunt me
once a clear tamer of language
now reduced to fear of turning in an english paper
the writing guides on my shelf
begin to develop dust out of disuse
the fear envelopes me
writing becomes an anxiety
no longer a comfort
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139,517 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
Hello, I'm RainbowPowerPonies and I wanna give you some feedback on this Poem you wrote.
A
This expresses your fear of not writing and the love of writing is inferred but it would MEAN more to ME if you said something like 'the fear of loosing my love, my joy, writing was devastating' or something it would mean a lot more than if you just kept saying how scared you were. Your spelling is impeccable and your grammar is amazing (even though everyone knows grammar is worth crap in poetry/poems). This is a really great poem but as I explained earlier it lacks compassion. Maybe that's the theme though. I wouldn't know, now lastly you have your final grade. YOU GOT A...................................................................................
95!!!!!!! <3 Congrats
Enjoy your review and if possible PLEASE notify me when you write a new piece (hopefully poetry) because I'd love to read more from you.
Thanks for reading and remember to keep writing and reading,
RainbowPowerPonies
Ok. Wow.
So I don't know about others, but 1) I thought it was really brave of you to post this and 2) This is exactly how I feel. I feel like it's really the overwhelming-ness of this site.
I also got that emotion of frustration at being unable to express your emotions perfectly in words. I assume that was the reason for the length of this great piece.
My favorite lines (because I connected with them the most) were:
OK, so that's a lot of favorite lines, oops :/.
Aaand, I love the beginning of the poem, especially the descriptions of being unable to write in different classes, ESPECIALLY the description of the teacher "hiding a smile" as they read your work. This was totally....ME. Gaaah.
So, basically, I loved your entire poem. When I really connect with a poem, or any writing piece, it's hard to suggest anything to change. My only
mildsuggestion was to keep with the consistency of using commas and periods like you did in the beginning. However, in my opinion, this is better without punctuation altogether.My suggestion? Take a break from this site. Before this site, I didn't feel quite as pressured to be such a good/constant writer. I think the main problem is school, of course. Just flow with it. I struggle with the exact same problems you struggle with. Just start writing a story without any guidelines. Don't push yourself to edit it perfectly, or use awesome vocabulary, or even express the character's emotions in the best way possible. Just write a story with a simple idea and expand on it. Don't think: Ugh, this is so cliche, or Wow, this story is boooring or even No one will ever read this and like it.
You are writing for YOURSELF, not for other people, at this age. Not for the people on this site. Not for your English teacher. For yourself.
Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor, mate.
+1
(P.S. Overall rating: 10/10)
Soooo...
THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME.
But my suggestion to you is to buy a little note book and write a little somthing in it every night, you know, after homework or in the middle of homework... I really don't know how you would do it, cause i have no experience in school... but lol.
I acctually keep one in my purse, not just for writing but also for randomly scribbleing...
(what can i say, i like the feeling of the pencle in my cand sooo freaking much!!!!)