Before you read, just know that I did not capitalize because I felt the narration called for a much more casual feel to it. Sorry if you prefer capitalization and punctuation. I usually do to, but sometimes what you write calls for you to get out of your comfort zone!
it's thursday and
you're wearing your blue raincoat
with a terrential downpour
making it hard to see clearly
we walk along the city street and
your black shoes seem to find every little puddle
the grey pavement turns into a muddy dirt road
and we make
plunk plunk
sounds as the earth and our feet
collide
then separate
we start to follow a
stream
flowing gently towards
nowhere
like lost dreams
on a sad and dreary day
like this one
soon
we find ourselves at a river
skipping stones
into a place of lost dreams
seeing which ones make it
to the other side
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139,354 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
The story was something that most people can relate to but what really won me over was the structure. I would have to agree with null25."Thursday" did stand out quite a bit. The structure is new to me and i actually like it a lot. It's clear and clever. Great job. way to get out of the zone. I like how you compared the water flow to lost dreams. That was a strong excellent connection
Lovely poem! And it was nice that you got inspired by the fact that it was raining
I always get the greatest ideas too when it's raining because the water drops plunk plunk plunking on my umbrella just helps me think 
So stop with my blabbering, let's get on.
I think you meant "torrential" not "terrential" but that's no biggie, just a typo.
I think this makes it wound like it's making it hard to see clearly because you're wearing the blue raincoat with downpour, which in my humble literature knowledge, doesn't make sense (to me). Also, I'm not sure sure wearing a coat WITH a downpour makes sense. This is tooootally your style of writing, but maybe you could choose a better word than "with".
So maybe change it to something like:
"You're wearing your blue raincoat
the torrential downpour accompanying you
making vision blurred.
I don't know, but I would probably write "as we make" not "and we make"
And if we pretended you changed "and we make" to "as we make", it's awkward to have the word "as" twice so soon. So I would just start the "earth and out feet" part in a new line, because it's a really good description, so you want the reader to take time reading it. You don't want to rush.
Add more description about the earth and your feet colliding. What does it look like? What emotions does it stir inside you?
Sad kind of means dreary, so there's not point of repetition. Instead, take the chance to input a different, more original word that would be more meaningful to your poem.
Oh, and I love the last stanza! It's absolutely beautiful.
I love how you took the approach to not have capitalization because I kind of had to make my own imaginary commas and periods as I was reading, which was pretty cool.
I loved reviewing your poem, and hope it helped in some kind of way to you!
If you have any questions or requests, feel free to contact me.
Keep writing.
-Unnatural
I like the effect that having no punctuation has. It's really cool and adds to the voice! I also like how this poem flows. It's almost like the poem is the water. I also like how there is no capitalization. Seeing this poem has and effect. It's almost like its EVEN and that's really cool. The poem gets faster in my head as I am reading it. I can see it and I feel sort of urgent until I'm cut off at the end and it feels like I'm floating. I know that sounds weird, but that's what the poem did. for me, at least. I would keep it the same, except for maybe go deeper in a few parts. Of your choice, of course. Plus, maybe do not capitalize "Thursday" because it sort of interrupts the sequence of the poem in the beginning. I know that it's a day of the week and should be capitalized, but I think that it would make the poem flow better, even though it requires for you to venture out of your comfort zone once more. Nice poem, though! I liked it!