Analia skipped church that week. She had already had to put “unaffiliated” in the religion section on her application as per Egrand’s request, so applying a bit of twisted logic, so it seemed oddly fitting that she didn’t want to go today. She needed some time to herself, and there were so many things to do to prepare for her move. She had received the acceptance message yesterday, detailing where and when she should report to her new job. It was only two weeks away.
One of the first things she did was double-check her messages. The alert was on, but she wanted to make sure she didn’t miss any messages from Willion. Two days ago, the day after her meeting with the colonel, he had sent her a brief, unexpected message.
"I submitted the application. If they accept me, I’m coming."
She longed to know why he had so suddenly changed his mind, but he had shrugged her off with vague answers, and after a while she had given up. Maybe he had just needed more time to think about it. She was just overjoyed he was coming. Moving would be a lot less daunting
She shook her head and went to eat breakfast, paying even less attention than usual to the news reports playing in her holovision. Today was the day she was going to do it, she told herself. Today she’d go through everything in the apartment that wasn’t hers. Sort it out for once and for all and pack it up, ready for when she left in a week.
Half an hour later, Analia opened the door to Verona’s room. The lights came on automatically, revealing a bed, nightstand, and dresser, all covered in clothes, books, and knicknacks. Analia smiled. Verona had always been the messier of the two.
For a moment, Analia could believe that Verona had just gone out for the day, that she would come home that night and they would watch cheesy films together and laugh at all the wrong times. Then she stepped more fully into the room, and the layer of dust on the surfaces shattered the illusion.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Analia turned on her most upbeat playlist to distract her and got started.
After half an hour of methodically packing things into boxes, Analia couldn’t avoid the question of what to do with Verona’s things any longer. There was no way she could take it all with her, but she couldn’t sell it. She dropped one more shirt into the box with a sigh and sunk down onto Verona’s old bed. She gestured, pausing her music.
In the corner of her eye, she saw Verona. She whipped her head around before realizing it was just the large mirror hanging on the wall behind her. She stared at her reflection for a moment.
Looking in mirrors had always felt odd. Analia knew she was seeing herself, but she saw Verona’s face far more often than her own, so her reflection had always felt more like a picture of Verona, except with long brown hair. She supposed most people felt the same way, but she had never wished so strongly that she was actually looking at Verona.
Then it came.
/Analia...what’s wrong? Please tell me what’s going on./
Analia sat straight up in surprise. She had nearly forgotten the connection was open. Verona’s words washed over her, and they felt right. A callback to a better era. A flash of customary anger rose inside her, but today she couldn’t sustain it and it collapsed swiftly, leaving a hollow sort of emptiness behind.
Oh, to hell with it. Maybe there was a chance they could fix this. And so she responded, hesitantly. /It’s a long story./
/I’ve got time./ Analia could almost feel Verona’s delighted smile at receiving a response.
And so Analia told her story. Slowly at first, carefully, but as Verona pressed her for details, all of a sudden everything poured out of Analia and she didn’t know how to explain the whirlwind her life had been so she just pushed a load of memories mixed with emotion and words across to Verona.
It was a jumbled mess and she knew it. She could almost feel Verona thinking as she sorted it through, her mood dampening as she pieced the story together and saw what Analia had been feeling.
When Verona was through, there was silence between them for a moment. Analia closed her eyes, waiting.
/I’m sorry./ Verona said.
Analia opened her eyes again. Those two small words didn’t begin to convey the meaning, the weight of regret Analia could feel accompanying it.
/I thought I was...doing Nirvana’s work. It’s not an excuse. It was a stupid thing to do. I threw away everything. And I didn’t realize how much I’d hurt you./
She really means it, Analia realized, and the knowledge was like a salve. She let it soothe her for a moment, lying back on Verona’s bed.
/So, you don’t think this is Nirvana’s work anymore?/ she asked hesitantly.
/Oh, the work I’m doing now is, even if it’s...terrifying. Rallying sounds a lot safer./
/That’s how I feel about this spying gig./ Analia said.
/It makes me think of 11:15./
The reference was a parable generally used to remind people that Nirvana usually knew what humankind needed better than you did. /I know. But it’s still scary./
Verona agreed.
There was silence for a moment, but something Verona had said tickled in the back of Analia’s mind. /Safer? What exactly are you doing?/
Verona was reluctant to share the details at first, but eventually she relented and explained what had happened to Lani and the position in the Absolutes she now filled.
/I know it sounds scary, but I’m sure they won’t send us out until we’re actually trained and ready./
Analia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. /Why in Balance’s name did you say yes? Lani is trained, and look where that got her!/
/They need me, Analia. They lost a lot of people. I know it’s what Nirvana wants. And besides, I’ll actually be doing something. I’ll be able to strike back. Forget rallying, this might actually make a difference. If we destabilize them enough, the whole system might finally change./
Analia shook her head, though she knew Verona couldn’t see her. The dull feeling in her stomach was back. /Assassinations? You’re going to kill people?/
Verona took a moment to respond. /I...I think maybe, yes. But not all the time. Mostly it’s reconnaissance and spreading rumours. And we’d only be killing the most corrupt. Like - like a purge./
Analia thought of her mother, working long hours in the factories with so little to show for it. /I think we’ve been needing one of those./
/Yeah. If we’re lucky, soon we’ll be able to start getting our own people into offices. Then the real change will happen./
Analia stood up and started packing away more of Verona’s things. There was no reason she couldn’t work and talk at the same time, and she needed to get it done. She had finished clearing out Verona’s dresser and under her bed, so she started work on the closet.
/What about you, though? When this is over, are they going to give you a pardon?/
/I don’t know. They might not be able to. But I’m sure that’s a long way off./
There was a brief pause, then Verona abruptly changed the subject. /Did you say that Willion decided to come with you?/ Her voice had a teasing edge to it that Analia couldn’t ignore.
/It’s not like that!/ Analia retorted, blushing. /He’s told me before he’s always wanted to go! He just needed a little encouragement./
/Sure…./
/Shut up! It is possible to just be friends with a guy, you know. Besides, he’s too skinny for me./ Analia wished Verona was there so she could throw a pillow at her. She could almost see her twin’s grin at having managed to needle Analia so successfully.
Analia was rummaging through the back of Verona’s closet now, sorting clothes into several piles. She threw a black skirt onto one pile, then looked at what had been underneath it and burst out laughing, Verona’s jest forgotten.
/What’s so funny?/ Verona couldn’t hear the laughter, of course, but Analia’s surge of emotion would have been obvious.
/Do you remember that awful dress you got a few years back? Checker-patterned in that ridiculous shade of red?/ It had been a random joke gift at a party. Analia still couldn’t understand how such an ugly dress had ever been manufactured. Not only was the pattern an eyesore, it was adorned with far too many little lace ruffles.
Verona’s face when she had opened the box had been priceless, sending nearly everybody there into hysterics. Analia hadn’t thought to snap a picture, but she could still remember Verona’s look of bafflement as if she had.
/Yeah, but - /
/I just found it in the back of your closet. I guess you never got rid of it. Do you generally hoard things like this?/ she added wickedly.
/Never mind that,/ Verona said in a tone of puzzlement. /Why on earth are you going through my closet?/
Oh. Analia had forgotten to tell Verona what she was doing today, or why she had contacted her in the first place. She explained briefly, dropping the offending dress in the trash pile and carrying on folding clothes so they would fit in the boxes she had brought.
/Well, I’m moving next week. So I have to go through everything in the house and figure out what to do with it. There’s no way I can take all of it with me - I can’t afford the shipping costs. But it’s your stuff - I can’t just get rid of it. I don’t know what to do yet./
Verona was silent for a moment, and Analia could feel her emotions slightly shifting as Verona absorbed the idea that everything she owned might not be there if or when she came back. /Please don’t get rid of it, if you can. It’s probably good if you get rid of the random junk, but...I can’t lose everything./
/I know, but my new apartment will be too small and I can’t pay to store it./ Analia sighed.
/Isn’t there anyone who would store it for you? Could the Absolutes help?/
Analia doubted it, but she resolved not to dismiss the idea entirely. It did, however, set her thinking along the right paths, and after a moment the answer was so startlingly obvious she couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it before.
/I bet I could ask Sue to store it! You know how big her house is - she’s bound to have room somewhere for a few boxes of stuff./ She still didn’t know how Sue coped with that big, empty house. It would drive Analia mad trying to keep it clean.
/Ask her now,/ Verona urged, and Analia complied, composing and sending a quick message to Sue.
They lapsed into silence soon afterwards as each of them concentrated on their own tasks, Analia the continued scourging of Verona’s room, Verona some training exercise or another. If not the comfortable silence they had once enjoyed, it was at least a step closer, and Analia found herself working with renewed vigor. Finally, something in her life had gone right.
End of chapter
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137,630 Literary Works • 672,054 Reviews
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I loved the mirror part. Remember when I wasn't aware that twins actually looked identical? Now you've explained it, and in the most perfect and sweetest way, too. (Of course, a little earlier in the book would have been nice, but this is your first draft, after all.) I also really, really loved how you described Verona's room, all messy and seeming like she could have just been there a few hours prior, as is her customary habit. That is, until Analia sees the layer of dust coating everything. It tells me a lot about Analia, how she had been too emotional about her sister's actions to even step inside her room until now. Now that she finally has, it's as if she's broken through a barrier between them. The opening of that door was the reincarnation of their relationship.
My favorite part about the chapter was the very end, where the two twins were able to simply continue in their own ways, happy and content, not speaking to one another but enjoying the peaceful silence between them. Analia's gone a long way.
Really, your character development has been quite excellent in this novel. I love how you've managed to take two identical twins and give them entirely different personalities and entirely separate plots. I can't wait for the two of them to somehow come back together and fight for the same cause.
Sounds like Analia has a certain guy friend too. Awesome.
Keep up the great work!
Helloooo
General thoughts.
Interesting twist in this chapter! I wasn't expecting the girls to reconcile so easily. I was actually a little surprised that they did. Analia was pretty mad at Verona for everything she has done and it didn't seem to take much for Analia to forgive her. I suppose that could just be a function of her character that she was able to forgive and move on so easily. I appreciated that they were able to return to the interactions and the relationship they had before all of this happened, joking with one another and what not. I would just do some thinking about whether that is the most realistic outcome right now. (And sometimes my thoughts are meant to gently lead a writer in a different direction, but that's not the case right now :p I'm really not sure what the right answer is here because you know these girls far better than I do, so you will have better insight about what feels right for them.) Some things to consider - given everything that has happened, would they really trust each other so readily this quickly? They both have these really important, kind of secretive jobs (especially Analia being a spy now) and they have no idea what the other has been up to since they've last seen each other. I would expect them to be more cautious. But I don't know. Maybe they have some inner twin thing that makes them trust each other or maybe these disclosures will end up backfiring somehow...
But overall, I think your writing just keeps on improving! I can tell Analia is getting a lot more thought and you're putting more time into her sections. I'm liking her more as a character now and I think a big part of that is because you've figured out what you want to do with her and she's a lot more involved in the plot
Specific thoughts.
This is a pretty minor thing, but I took out that middle clause because to me, it didn't really make sense or fit in with the rest of the sentence. You also don't want to have two commas followed by "so".
This sentence seemed a bit unfinished. Maybe something like "...a lot less daunting with him coming too".
We have this nice build-up of Analia preparing to do something is no-doubt going to be very challenging for her and then a half hour goes by and kind of kills it. I would mention breakfast and then have her think about this after breakfast is done so we can go right into Analia entering Verona's room and getting the party started
Even though Verona has been gone a long time now and last I checked, Analia was pretty mad at her? This seems a bit cheery.
The way this is worded, it makes it sound like Analia is packing something other than Verona's things and now she can't put it off any longer and she has to deal with the stuff. But this would make no sense because what else would she be packing in Verona's room? I think changing a few words around could make it better. "...methodically packing Verona's things into boxes...what to do with all of it any longer."
Why? Like what I said earlier, Analia doesn't have happy feelings towards Verona right now. There are tons of reasons why Analia could want to see her sister right now, and I want to know which one it is because it helps to set the tone.
I think the way you do their little mind-messages to each other is really clever with the //'s. It sets it apart from regular dialogue and regular thoughts and makes it very clear what is happening
I appreciated this description of how Analia is feeling and how she navigates her feelings towards Verona. You may need a bit more of this in some of the previous places I've mentioned that felt a bit out of character.
I would like a little more elaboration on exactly what story this is. Is it everything that happened since Verona left? Is it all of her inner turmoil about what to do with her life and how she feels about Verona? Is it all of her inner turmoil about her faith and her new mission? A combo?
How does Analia know she really means it? This goes back to what I said before. It seems almost too easy that Analia tells her how it is, Verona apologizes, and Analia says okay and is over it. It's cool if it really is that easy for them, but a lot of people aren't able to be that rational and mature after they've been really hurt and betrayed
What is "this"? What is she referring to here?
I truly loved this.
And I really appreciated the little bit about being able to be just friends with a guy. People that don't understand this irritate me :p (Like I hung out with this guy once and he didn't like the fact that I have quite a few good guy friends. Like he was jealous and couldn't believe I didn't have any sort of romantic feelings towards any of them and they didn't towards me and I had to explain to him that most of them either have serious girlfriends/finaces, or they're gay. It was bizarre. It didn't last
Since Verona is now an Absolute, wouldn't she have a pretty good idea whether or not they would be able to help?
I do like that things are starting to take a bit of a more positive turn! (Even though I'm a gluten for dark and sad :p). Overall, another good chapter and I'm excited for more, as always! Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing!