Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,687 Literary Works • 672,057 Reviews
ur piece of work is trendy! it's of neolithic age! in ur writing , u hv defined a new age of writing! it is very interesting. ur writing is unique and cool! most importantly ur rhyming scheme is good! somewhere u used ababa...pattern which give ur work a sort of height! where nobody can reach easily! ur poem sounds strongly connected with words! u hv a master degree in poetry or wat? i think u hv........ jokes apart overall ur work is nice! keep it up! mate!
Glad you liked it rishabh. Thanks
That was really cool! at first i thought this might be a wee bit corny but is actually really individual! I love how you have written this in a way where it feels like i'm watching a quick film, or you are talking right to me. This is the poem I have read so far!
9/10 yewww
Thanks
I'm glad you liked it.
Yoda,
And also points out how the comic creators made all those alliterative character names /#WE'RE ONTO THEM
any poem with superman is awesome
I'm a sucker for your opening lines, and the many interchanging I sounds present throughout this. Kryptonite/stalagmite/porcupine/ice.
^ I'm just highlighting long and short I sounds here, cause I wanna see it
The kind of funny part about this is that as soon as you mention Lex Luther, it's like a halt-uttering-stop to both the I-sounds/flow pattern...as well as a stop to the concept of phones/technology. Lex Luther just enters in with a bang, both figuratively and literally, how cool is that?!
^ That is what is in my head
My suggestion, which I think would be really, super cool -- and if you ever have the desire and the patience to be super anally perfectionist -- is to give all the superman parts of the poem their own sound motifs, and then keep all the nonsuperman partsthe Isounds you crafted in the beginning. How cool and OCD-wonderfulness would that be?
My main idea/understanding of this is twofold. 1) that technology is supposed to be all of our weakness/kryptonite. I'm assuming all of the ice imagery is supposed to refer to something iphoneapp/game related, if not to some kind of apocalypse...but I'm not too sure. Frozen porcupines seems to refer to something, but the reference in lost on me.
and 2) that superman's only weakness is that he HAS NO WEAKNESS. At least, not really. That seems to be the dialogue exchange in stanzas 2-4. Maybe? No?
EDIT: 3) was technology Lex Luthor's kryptonite? Hmm.
Well, regardless if I've completely missed the mark, this has been a really fun piece to read and mull over! =^___^=
&nomnomnoms sounds <3
~ as always, Audy
-- and yus. I realize this review was mostly silliness and hashtags as opposed to helpful xD #Imsorry #sugarcrazed
Hey Audy, thanks for the great review! Regarding the interpretation, you're not far off:
The tale is an exchange between Superman and Louis Lane. Louis Lane narrates her fears that Superman is playing with fire by exposing his secrets to technology, which Lex Luther can easily use to bring him down.
Superman replies, that although he is aware of the risks involved in exposing himself, he is addicted to the thrill will do so nonetheless. He muses, admitting that technology is his kryptonite.
The imagery of the ice, although not adequately framed, represents when Superman tosses his kryptonite into the North Pole, and a fortress of icicles is formed. It is in this fortress that Lex Luther discovers his weaknesses, and can endanger him.
In hindsight, you're right that the sounds are rather haphazard and inconsistent especially as the piece progresses. I was running out of time and hurried too quickly for my own good.
Pretty good! I think it's definitely unique, and I'm honestly not really sure how to react to it?
I don't know why but I think it's really interesting. Louis Lane and Lex Luther? Who are they? I want more! Keep up the good work, I really enjoyed the read. And as always, good luck to you and your writing! Expand!
Thanks Andrea. Louis Lane is Superman's girlfriend, and Lex Luther is his evil nemesis.