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Spoiler
,was four months and three days. In fact, the winter was almost over."Miranda, why?"
"Why what, Mom?" My voice sounded very raspy, probably because of the four months of not talking due to a tube down my throat.
"Why'd you leave school that day?"
"Because Carly was being mean, I just didn't want to deal with it
that day. I didn't know doing that could kill me." I sat up in the bed. I felt tired."Could you hear me?"
"Yes. I could hear you, and I was talking to you, but you didn't hear."
"You weren't talking."
"I was, and I was squeezing too. It all seems like a dream now."
The doctor walked in and said, "Hey Miranda. Feeling better?
" The doctor walked in. "I never expected you'd come back." He poked at my legs. "Can you feel this?" I nodded. He stood up and said, "I'm concerned about the amount of time you were in the coma.""Why?" Mom asked for me.
"She may not remember necessary things. Time to start over and learn how to walk again." He helped me up, "Let's see if you remember." The second I stood without any support, I fell.
Mom and the doctor lifted me up.I couldn't even support myself. I turned towards Dad, looking scared. Would I ever walk again?"Take a step Miranda." Dad urged. I lifted and lifted, but just like in the comma, nothing happened. The comma? What?
"I can't!"
"You can, baby. You can do this!"
"No, I can't. I really can't!"
"That's OK Miranda." The doctor helped me back to the bed. "We'll try again tomorrow." I lay back in the bed and fell asleep crying. I didn't know if I'd ever walk again.
CH 4
"Hey Miranda, long time no see." Mr.Girth walked in the hospital room. It was a rainy Sunday morning and Mom and Dad were at church.
"Hi." I sat up in the bed. It took great effort. I was suddenly concious of the state of my hair. I reached up and touched my head to push the hair back and flatten it out.
"You've been the topic of the school."
"Really?" I had a hard time believing that.
"
Uh huh.Carly'ssaid she's really sorry about what she said that day." I don't really think that a teacher visiting his ill student in the hospital would say 'uh huh' (:"Oh yeah," I said, remembering the rude remarks that drove me home that day.
"Jason was the one who hit you. He'd been stuck in that traffic jam, too, only he didn't drive around it. He said he was speeding when he hit you."
"How's he?" I suspected that he would've had the same prognosis. But then I remembered the figure standing before me asking if I was all right. That figure did look remarkably like Jason.
"Fine. He has his day in the hospital and then he was fine. They just wanted to make sure he was all right. He was." He stood there, just looking weird. "So, when are you being discharged?"
"Tomorrow." I was glad for that. Then started physical therapy.
"Will you go back to school?"
"Next week."
"I'll be looking forward to seeing you!" And he left the room just as Mom and Dad entered. They exchanged strange glances and carried on. For the rest of the day, I thought about leaving this place, and dreaded going back to school.
WAAA I loved this story!
You have a really good storyline going here. I was a little lost in the beginning because I didn't know what was going on, so it's always a good idea to put a spoiler before the chapter explaining some of the major plot events. I got a better idea as the story progressed, but I'm still a little confused as to what happened.
One thing for you to work on is your character relationships. All of the relationships were pretty static, or flat. Does she have a special bond with her mom, her dad? Does she like this teacher, and vice versa? Does she trust her doctor?
Keep me posted on the chapters to come!
~Taylor