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Ello MandaPanda! :D I am here to review your piece. Now here are some pointers on how my reviews work: Spelling/grammar errors will be in red, the original in italics. Comments/questions will be in blue, the original in bold. And things I liked in general in green! :3 So let's get started. I will pick out the sentences in need of a fix, but they will go in order of the story so you can find them more easily.
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There were many mistakes in the story, but it was mostly doing fine. Make sure to reread your piece before submitting so you catch most of them yourself. There is still much work with description, character thought, and other major aspects of writing, but you'll get there. :] Also, on another thought, you stated that she was raped a day before. For a pregnancy test, it takes about two weeks for one to come out positive. Some can be a little earlier, but only by a few days. Not the day after conceiving. So I would suggest going over that part and making some things happen in between the rape and the test. Good luck on the rest of your story and hoped I helped! :]