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Her Plight

by Louisiana15

From forth the rolling waves of the sea;

from above the froth's light breeze

comes the sound of a Young Maid's plea

heartbreaking enough to bring the strongest to their knees--


The Maid cries out for aid

before Death's visit is paid.

the wind carries Her pleas while tears course down Her face--

She lays bound in the hidden place.


Chained to a table of stone

She lies all alone.

taken from the light

where none may hear Her plight--

this Maiden has been lost

for, at all cost,

Her captors chain Her in this prison.


Bare is Her room,

dark as the night.

Death is Her doom

as She loses the fight.


While Love is searching far and wide

She is fading in the daylight;

Her mind searches far and wide;

Love travels in the daylight.


Hearing Her pleas,

Love follows the breeze;

searching for the hidden room

before it becomes Her tomb.

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28 Reviews

Points: 452
Reviews: 28

Thu Sep 20, 2018 4:03 pm
xJoeyx wrote a review...

Henlo, we meet again, Louisiana15.

First off, I really liked this poem a lot. It is really deep and I feel like in a sense it is like love is the reason she died.

I feel like there is a load of symbolism in this poem and I also think that there is a really good theme.
Could the theme be, "life and death" or "life is short"?
Im not completely 100% sure what your actually trying to get across to us, I know that there was most likely abuse involved and I know that she was hidden for a reason. But we don know why, how, where, or when. We have no idea but is actually going on or the reasoning behind it.
But overall I loved it a lot. Keep writing!!

Louisiana15 says...

Hello, again!

Thematically, I was going for Love isn't always free. In the sense of (general), you aren't able to love who you want.

I didn't want to tell the whole story within the poem, I wanted it to be broad enough to fit into anyone's life. As I said, I was going with the freedom of love (or the oppression of people preventing love if you are looking at it in a different view). I didn't want to write the full situation because then many wouldn't be able to relate to the whole theme/"feel". Do you think, from knowing this now, that I should have been more detailed about the why, how, where, and when?

xJoeyx says...

No. Now I realize why you didn't do that. Thank you for clearing that up for me!

Louisiana15 says...

Okay, thanks!

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9 Reviews

Points: 6
Reviews: 9

Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:32 am
hermione2001 wrote a review...

Hi! So some suggestions. Grammar wise, be consistent with capitalization and punctuation. There are lots of little lines that just need grammar fixed and they would flow better. I love the idea but I would use more imagery. It draws the writer in and holds their attention. I love the story you are telling, but I would add some more tidbits of info about the Maiden. This poem was really good! I really enjoyed reading it! For some reason, it reminded me of Edgar Allen Poe's "Annabel Lee," one of my favorite poems and that made me love it more! Keep writing! I can't wait to read more from you! -Hermione

Louisiana15 says...

Hey, Hermione! Thanks for your review! :) I was going for the "Annabel Lee" feel but with that slight twist. I'll make sure to make edits! :)

User avatar

Points: 44
Reviews: 1

Wed Sep 19, 2018 5:59 pm
KaiGaiBo wrote a review...

Hiya, Kai here, attempting a review.
I like this. While reading I wasn't looking for grammatical errors which I usually do. I wasn't trying to picture her, just loved her story. I like how each stanza flows nicely into the next. Something I personally am not liking is the way her pronouns are capitalized, it's a little distracting while trying to read. Something else to work on, is using the same word twice as a rhyme. I'll admit I do it sometimes as well. However, if you have time to revise or rewrite, I suggest working on that.

Louisiana15 says...

Hi! Thank you so much for your review! I'll make sure to work on it!

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