A Scale of Power- Chapter Eight

by LordofLit101

Published July 6, 2015

12+ Language Violence

In Book 1 Trilogy 1

Tom's head swam with unanswered questions. Who were the Lords of Darkness? What was this so called prophecy? Most importantly though, who was the owner of that ominous voice? His grief and rage had fallen dormant at the sound of that voice, but they had both awoken from their slumber slightly. He tried to extend his power like he had done in the room before. But he could not extend his reach much further than the outer ring of Vienna. This is strange, he thought as he gazed at the golden painted city in front of him, how did I even do that? They could hear me as far away as Paris? But why can't I use that amount of power now? He fell silent for a moment as the cool evening air washed his consciousness. He heard footsteps coming towards him, and expected to see Catherine, laughing at how good her voice joke was. But even she wasn't that cruel. 

"What did you mean by prophecy and Lords of Darkness?" he asked the shadows. 

"Lords of Darkness and prophecies? What have you been doing up here?" replied another voice half-jokingly. Instead of Catherine or a stranger, Maria stepped out from the shadowy blanket that covered the rooftops. "My head hurts, thanks for that," 

"You're welcome" replied Tom meaningfully. "Sorry, there's a lot going through my head at the moment," 

"I think we realized that when you gave everyone this side of France a massive migraine," Maria continued disapprovingly. Tom then stared at her angrily. 

"Look, I've said I'm sorry, what more do you want? You're starting to sound like Catherine!" he snapped. 

"To see if you're okay, you really lost it back there," she replied. 

"What do you expect, I just saw my entire family be slaughtered...I'm- the last..." he stuttered as his voice failed him. A tear fell from his face as he tried his best to hide his emotions. 

"Stop trying to give me the impression that you're okay, because you're clearly not. Come back with me and we can all talk about this," ordered Maria. It seemed like the best idea, seeing as he hadn't eaten anything since earlier that afternoon. 

* * * 

Tom and Maria came and sat in the great library, where Tobias, Ian, and Catherine were talking amongst themselves. Ancient books slumbered silently on the tough oak bookcases, as with pretty much every room in the palace, great chandeliers hung from above, radiating golden light across the halls. Huge oil paintings of important people silently observed the scene from beyond the grave, as Tom crept silently into the room, not uttering even a whisper from his confused yet devastated mind. 

"Hey Tom," mumbled Ian with a hint of sympathy in his voice. Catherine glanced up from the table and smiled at him apologetically. Tobias turned round and threw a serious look at Tom as he approached. 

"It seems you have seriously hurt him, he was screaming as the broadcast stopped," he acknowledged. 

"Yes, well I'm sorry my so-called gifts don't come with an instruction manual!" Tom snapped in retaliation, "You've got a headache? Deal with it, you've got painkillers, you've still got your family all safe and sound, so stop complaining!" he boomed. As he shouted furiously at Tobias, the chandeliers began to quake, and a few books fell from their shelves. 

Calm down, Tom, you cannot control your power. 

The voice again. The very same voice Tom had heard on the rooftops. 

"Who are you, and what the hell do you know!" Tom accidentally shouted out loud at the ceiling. 

"What on Earth..." muttered Catherine. Tom slowly stared down at the marble floor, which reflected the emotional wreck he had suddenly become. 

"I need to talk to you all, privately. I'm sorry about all this," muttered Tom as he looked around at what his pure rage had done. 

"You do not need to trouble yourself about this," Tobias replied calmly, "tell us what you will, I shall see that no one enters or leaves here but us,". He nodded and a few agents stood just inside the doors, as Catherine used her power to close the grand old doors. They shut with a soft slam, closing a so far non apparent danger in with them. 

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
ChimeraMania
Review
ChimeraMania wrote a review Review · Jul 26, 2015

His grief and rage had fallen dormant at the sound of that voice, but now they had both awoken from their slumber slightly.

If the voice isn't in his head any more.

Hmm....well. I like it, of course. Although, for some reason, I'm having trouble with the length. BUT, I haven't read all the chapters yet, so I'll hold that comment until the end. Maybe. I still wish they were maybe two paragraphed added longer. Yet, if this is how you felt it should be then so shall be it. Just a suggestion though on lengthening them.

Anyway onward to the backwards reading.

~Sharrae out, tottles

User avatar
yizhongt
Review
yizhongt wrote a review Review · Jul 7, 2015

Hey there, yizhongt here to give a review.

Another well written piece, but like the earlier reviewer stated, there are a lot of questions being thrown out in the beginning, but that's not necessarily bad. You actually made me want to the answers to those question. So its a good hook in the long run, people want to know answers to questions posed.I am now also extremely curious about this prophecy in which Tom seems to be the centre of it. Still very curious as to who this voice is.

Love your choice of words you use and the dialogue between the characters. I wish I could write dialogue like you do. Spelling wise I do not see any mistakes. You have a few grammar mistakes here and there. You're missing a comma or two as well as a full stop.

"You're welcome" replied Tom meaningfully. "Sorry, there's a lot going through my head at the moment,"

You're missing a comma after welcome and it should be a full stop after moment. Minor errors. Just minor errors.

Overall, really good story. Its coming on well. Can't wait for the next chapter and to see the full extent of Tom's powers. Keep writing and cheers !!

P/s thanks for reviewing the chalice of life. Really appreciate the feedback. The next chapter should be out by the end of the week or early next week. I'll let you know.

Thanks for the review! Glad you're finding the plot twists interesting, these questions shall remain partially unanswered until book 2, by using this, I'm trying to get the readers anticipated about book 2 in order to build up interest about it. I didn't even think my use of dialogue was that great, so thank you very much! Will see to the mistakes right away, feedback and compliments very much appreciated! :D

User avatar
Linguistic
Review
Linguistic wrote a review Review · Jul 7, 2015

Hey!! Anna Rae here for a review! So I haven't read any of the previous chapters, so please know that I'm only reviewing this, and if I get anything wrong or don't understand something, that is why.

The chapter starts off with unanswered questions. Questions that even the readers are wondering (especially me). I actually like "question dumps." It leaves everything from the last chapter out on the table to be dissected.

I don't know any of your other characters, but I like Tom. He seems smart and brave and relatable. My interest is peeked with all this "power" talk :) I'm actually interested to read the chapters that come before this.

Just a note about your grammar. When you end a sentence with someone talking, such as "My head hurts, thanks for that," I notice that you end it with a comma, when you should really be ending it with a period. Now, if "she said" came after the comma it'd be okay, but when you're finishing a dialogue sentence, you should still use a period.

Your dialogue throughout the chapter is very entertaining and well written, even if I don't really know what happened in the last chapter (it seems like it was quite the action-packed chapter though). However, throughout your dialogue there isn't much emotions. I'd like to know more of what the characters are thinking :)

I shiver at your word choice. There's a mix of sophisticated words and regular run of the mill ones. It's fantastic!

And I love the way you end the chapter. It finalizes the piece but still leaves me on the edge of my seat.

This is a mighty fine story you've got going here, and a fun and easy read! Again, I'd actually like to read more of this, so let me know when you update, and I'll probably go through your previous chapters and read those as well :)

Hope all of this helped!

~Anna

Thanks for the review! Really glad you like it, and the unanswered questions will remain unanswered until book 2 of the trilogy, because I want to get my readers anticipated about this second book, so I'm basically teasing the readers with this one. ;)



What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.
— Albert Pines