Young Writers Society

Well written! It couldn’t have been depicted any more beautifully! Ur poem has empowered as well demeaned people who think that they know what’s right (which actually isn’t)! U may not have been successful in opening up the entire society’s eyes, cause that’s just how are society is!! But I assure u that u definitely made a difference and this effort u took will definitely do a greater good. Proud of u! Keen on seeing many more eye opener poems of urs.

Hey Lee! You have expressed your emotions very beautifully. I can feel the suppressed pain coming out of your poem and how you are trying to overcome it. Just be positive and stay strong <3

Hi! This is such a worthy, lovely and beautiful poem. I can't even express what I am feeling right now. I am so happy about the fact that acceptance is your key. I love how you have accepted everything about yourself and moreover cherished it . I know how you must have felt when you didn't get that same acceptance from people around you. We all have faced this.
The lines which I loved:
" Let's build a world where we are free to love"
To stand apart from the world is difficult but you did that. More power to you! This is such a lovely and well- written poem. I will take your leave now. You have a long way to go Lee
Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya

Hey @LittleLee!
Mahira here for a review!
"It's a struggle, every day. By what some people say,

I am a wrongdoer. I am a mistake.

I am not meant to be.

Boys should love girls, and girls should love boys.

That how some say things are meant to be.

What does that make me?

Where men should only steal glances at women

and women must gaze fervently at men

I am enraptured by both. I am a rule-breaker.

Everything about me is wrong,

By what some people say.

Denying myself for years,

I struggled to be normal, I struggled to fit.

Because I can't fall in love,

Not with another boy;

That's what some people say.

Everything felt wrong. Everything I saw.

Some people just can't accept themselves for who they really are.

When I say I'm gay or when I say I'm bi

they look at me like it's all just a lie.

If someone said they were straight, who would care?

It isn't the same for us.The acceptance. The love.

Why can't you share what you have?

Because it isn't normal,

That's what some people say.

I could never bear to accept that I was different.

And if I can't, why should others?

It's right to doubt; I should never let myself

love another boy;

That's what some people say.

Living a lie, denying the truth.

It's the path I walked at first.

I did often wish that I was "normal."

But most of all, I wished to be free.

Free of a society

where I am afraid to say

who I really love.

But this isn't real. I'm just confused.

That's what some people say.

Too young to decide. Too young to understand, they say.

And that's the true lie.

Changing my path I found myself.

Who cares what others think,

If I think so little of myself?

Hold your head high, revel in the rainbow,

Embrace your nature.

It's hard, so hard to let go.

To let go of the fear of judgement.

The fear of people turning their backs on you.

People who said they were friends.

People who said they were family.

It's the worst feeling in the world

When someone can't accept you for who you are.

I can't help who I am. But I can't beat myself over expectations.

Love is not chosen. Love is what it is.

And if they will not accept it as normal,

They're the ones who are wrong.

I am human, just like you. That's all the normal I need.

Let's build a world where we are free to love.

A world where

A boy can love a boy

and a girl can love a girl,

And we can love ourselves

for who we know we are."
So I am really amazed at the way you've reflected the hatred society showers upon homosexuals. It's really paining. What path a person wants to follow is completely his/her own choice. And the society has no right to make any decision for people regarding their colour,sex or anything.
The line I loved the most was
"Some people just can't accept themselves for who they really are."
It's a painful truth and at the same time something we must learn to do. Whatever we are is what God has chosen us to be. And I felt this extremely important message being strongly conveyed in this work. I am full of praise for your work and at the same time grateful to you. It is writers like you who can really bring change into these age old customs of society.
What people say does not really matter. What you think about yourself is much more important. Really worth appreciating and superb!
Keep it up and Best of luck!

Keep writing
Mahira

Hello, hello! A heads-up, I won't be giving criticism, this is purely me telling you what I thought about it, and just giving my thoughts. This kind of work, be it very personal, would feel weird to me nit-picking it.

So, who do I need to beat with a baseball bat? I'll find the Jew Bear, I swear! (Movie reference, couldn't help myself!) This makes me the angry, knowing or the idea of someone telling anyone of the LGBTQA+ community that they aren't valid! How dare they! I stick my thumb at them!

I'm so sorry. Just.. ugh. People are a**holes.

But the ending! The tone became more hopeful and you let it show that you know it's ok to be you. It was a nice end, and I hope you keep that mindset! I will always be an ally!

- Cow

Hey!

I don't usually read poetry & stuff like that, but I'm so glad I clicked on this. It felt like looking in a mirror, honestly, and though that's a bit sad I'm glad there are other people who can relate to the struggles of being LGBTQ+.

It takes a lot of courage to express your experience on stuff like this, so I congratulate you on that.

I do agree with xenon in that it could use stanza breaks, but other than that you captured the essence of growing up thinking something was wrong with you because you had feelings for the same gender awesomely. The hope at the end made me smile and I think overall that this was written beautifully.

Stay cool!
-Bloom

Hi! Props to you for sharing this piece - this can be a hard topic to write about, let alone share.

First and foremost, this is a very relatable piece! I can feel the pain and confusion and exhaustion with struggling with an identity - "I am a wrongdoer. I am a mistake." hits the reader in the face right off the bat with those feelings. This piece feels very lyrical as well; I've noticed you've rhymed in some places and I'd love to see more of it. Structure/organisation is a little wonky, because it feels like the piece is all over the place - there's confusion, denial, confusion, more denial, I know there's a shift but I can't tell exactly where it is, then an uplifting ending. I think this piece would benefit from stanza breaks, for clarity.

And on that ending - "Let's build a world where we are free to love." i can agree 100%. if you ever need anything, just pm me! the world can be lonely for lgbtq+ folk, but we're stronger together.