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The Lake

by LittleLee


Words rush past my head,

Roaring, thrashing, pouring,

Drowning me in a torrent

of the most mindless rubbish,

Littering my head with feelings

I don't feel, connections that

I am severed from.

Understand? What blissful fool

can stand in that torrent,

Picking one drop of water

among the thrashing thousands,

Then proceed to lie bittersweet,

That they are capable of caring?

Myself, I am a placid lake,

No spring to fill me, no river

to drain me, drying under the sun,

Yet made to bear those foul waters.

Tell, do tell, when you

find a lake dying for want,

The urge to release its own waters,

How would you fill it further

With venomous nothings?

Madness, the sweet insanity take you,

And let an outlet spring to me,

Where the crushing pressure

will burst, burst through Earth,

Air, Fire, and expand to the

glowing cosmos beyond;

Alighting on parchéd stars

to gather anew in peace.

Raging torrent becomes gentle flow.

Let the quiet, lost souls

find a place to drink deep

the pleasure of solitude,

Undisturbed by the coming

of these phantom waters,

Content in placid stillness.


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Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:58 am
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CaptainCannon wrote a review...



A really great poem.First, it gives a sense a chaos,with the rains pouring all over the lake. And yet the lake manages to stay so detached and tranquil, not caring about the thrashing raindrops.
It seems to give a really valuable message that no matter what is going on in our surroundings, we need to stay calm and composed. We must not get lost in the cause of our environment, and create our own space.The metaphor of the "placid lake" being compared to a human's mind was extremely effective..I also loved the imagery of the poem, it made the entire scene come alive before my eyes.




LittleLee says...


Thank you for your review!



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Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:24 pm
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LittleLee says...



@MiniGem26 @FlamingPhoenix @EverLight @LadyVendetta @PrincessInk here it is!
If anyone else would like to be tagged, let me know.




LittleLee says...


What..?



LadyGemstone says...


<3



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Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:47 pm
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StudentAH wrote a review...



Dang, what an interesting poem.
I can't totally pick apart each part of the poem, but when you said your poem was about society I really felt that. ESPECIALLY the first and last stanzas.

I also like the third stanza when the narrator says "I am a placid lake." To me, it represents that you have almost meditated into a tranquil state where you can just have your own thoughts, not be rushing around, up in arms about the latest gossip. Yet, the sad truth is that you too have been made to withstand the rough waters -- they are unavoidable, but you can try your best to be calm and still about it all.

I feel like the middle area of the poem, where its talking about "the urge to release its own waters" it is almost saying that its unavoidable to occasionally want to "fill your waters" into someone else's lake -- the lakes being the person's mind, and the water, their opinion.

Only thing that confused me was this line in the second stanza: "That they are capable of caring?" I didn't see what other line it was in conjunction with. But I think the general idea of this part is that its highlighting how not even an innocent blissful person is immune to the corruption of the powerful waters.

Another gripe was that the metaphor felt like it was broken in the last stanza. I imagined that lakes are people's minds, and waters are their rushing opinions. So when a third entity was introduced, actual souls drinking from the lake, It was kind of lost on me. At the end, I suppose the end was kind of like a peace offering, to hope for a place where everyone can just calm down and be in peace, after having a massive blowout of opinions for all to hear. But I would imagine that one big lake where every single lake comes together and achieves stillness is a similar idea, since earlier you had seemed to mention that we blast our waters into each other's tranquil spaces.

Then again, that was merely my interpretation.

Overall, this was a very intriguing poem! I liked the idea and I've never any other poem that used such a fitting metaphor to tackle this problem in society.




LittleLee says...


Thank you for the review!



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Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:34 pm
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mckaylaam wrote a review...



Hello there! I'm here for a brief review of your poem, which I found to be a really lovely piece and I am glad I had the opportunity to read it.

I really admire how you have such strong imagery from the start of the poem with your comparison of the rush of words to that of the violent waters you go on to describe more. My favorite part of the poem was when you wrote "Myself, I am a placid lake / No spring to fill me, no river / to drain me, drying under the sun / Yet made to bear those foul waters". The comparison of the narrator (who I am assuming is yourself) to a placid lake that is made to be able to withstand harsh waters is a great way of showing how undisturbed and resilient you are as a person.

One thing that I think is interesting is the use of the word "parchéd" towards the ending of this poem. This may be because I am not the most experienced reader and writer, but I wasn't familiar with this word and I'm still having some trouble finding a definition for it for some reason, so if you could help me out with that I think I would better understand your use of it here. Other than this, I honestly can't find anything else that I think needs to be improved.

Overall, I genuinely enjoyed reading this poem and I hope you keep up the great work!




LittleLee says...


Thanks for the review!
In thus case, I mean parched, as in dry, but wrote it in such a way as to bring in the "e" sound.
Thanks again!



mckaylaam says...


Ah okay, that makes sense, thank you! And you're welcome for the review, it was a pleasure to read and review your work!




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