Glory of the Night

Hi, LittleLee!

I really liked to peaceful vibe this poem gave off. In my opinion, you described the idea of a lovely dark night out. It's a refreshing thought of what I'd love to see people doing in the next few years, once some of these literal and figurative fires are out.

I really don't see any room for improvement! You've done a good job of conveying a peaceful portrait of a couple out late one night, staying together all the while, and it's really just kinda relaxed me after rereading it a few times.

Keep writing, and have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

Alrighty Lee, let us see if I still have my reviewing mojo!

First off, a short poem! Always a bit easier and quicker to get through, considering my attention span is either really long or really short these days. The first line reads like a classic with that silvery description but also lets the reader know its a bit of its own thing when followed up by the next line. The rhyming is wonderful, as per the norm. The first stanza makes me curious, for sure. It has my interests and makes me wonder what will happen next.

The second stanza just really pulls the rug out from under you, now doesn't it! You go from feeling curious and safe to being startled, unsure of what's ahead in the next lines of reading. But the more read, it seems more like a victory, people relishing what they have in that moment and there's no need to be afraid of what's to come if you already look at what you've done.

Lastly, the third stanza. It's a calming end to the story. It doesn't surprise you, it lays you down gently. I would presume it is about slowly letting your victories fade, becoming humble, and not holding it over others heads like a carrot for a donkey. You understand what you have done, and are happy to have made something of yourself, to have accomplished even the smallest fo tasks.

In the simplest of terms, I'd guess the poem is about accomplishing things both big and small, not holding it over another head but also learning to thrive in that time of knowing you did it, you made something of yourself or you improved in some way, however small it may have been. You learn to enjoy the path to improving, to that goal, and then enjoying it in the moment and staying humble about it, cherishing those that helped you along the way.

- Cow

Hello LittleLee,
I am here to review...
First of all I would like to say why I was attracted to this poem of yours!
The only reason to get attracted was your title - "Glory of the Night".
Wonderfully written !! Lovely!

Thought your writing skills really is an inspiration to me but there is always a chance to improve. So lets see where u could have improved:-

1. "Do we cast our visions up to see." This is my favourite line!
But this one-"A gleaming orb, glowing with glee," .Here I could not understand the meaning of orb. Did you meant orbit ? or did you meant Moon?

2. The theme of your poem is about a silent night. So ,there you could expand your poem.
You have written about a night -Silent,Sky full of stars .
But you could have also added the sound of the breeze, a chilly atmosphere, the sound of the leaves of the trees and etc.

Just make sure that whenever you are writing a poem ,the reader should be absorbed in it .
It should not too long or too short.
Thats it !
Keep writing!!

From Sulagna

Hey, there! This is a cool poem. I like the nighttime imagery, and I feel like you've brought the reader right into the scene you're portraying. The stillness can almost be felt, especially considering your choice of words such as "paused," "frozen," and "alone." Great job.

The last stanza is an eye-opener of sorts, in that it waits till the very end to reveal the persons who are experiencing the setting you've described. It almost could be a little confusing, but maybe that's just how I perceived it. It's still really good, and I wouldn't necessarily suggest any changes that could make it better.

Your punctuation and capitalization are spot on, and your formatting is good as well. Also, the rhyme scheme is consistent.

I have one suggestion that might help the rhythm. The last line of the first stanza, where it says, "Do we cast our visions up to see," seems a beat too long. I would suggest removing the word "do," and it would be perfect.

Well, that's all for now. Great work!

Hi LittleLee! Haraya here to review.

While I think your imageries and rhymes were nice, something felt missing. While you managed to convey the setting of the night, I wish you captured the entrancing mystery of it, which I think was what you meant as its glory. I thinj the poem should have been a little bit longer. I'll try to dissect the poem to identify where you could make improvements.

Imagery:

As I've said your imageries are good, but I had problems with some.

"A silver-speckled dreamy night,
A million flickering shards of light,"

I think the second line was redundant. Both of them seemed to describe the starry night sky but the latter line didn't seem to add anything significant. Maybe you can focus on something different, like the Milky Way.

"Here we are safe, here we sing,
Throwing our voices on shadowed wings."

I think the second line was too vague. I couldn't imagine what you tried to mean here. Why do voices have to be on shadowed wings? It was really hard to interpret and I still don't have a clear grasp on what you mean.

I think the third stanza was the best among the others. It was here you made the speaker of the poem clear. I don't think I have much to say here. But I think you could have explored the night more. Maybe describe the song of the night as the sound of crickets, cicadas, bats and frogs, or something else.

Structure:

It was obvious you used an aabb ccdd... rhyming scheme and I think the rhymes were all right. As for the meter, I think you were trying to have a fixed meter, probably eight syllables per line, but it wasn't maintained throughout the poem so I'm not sure if that was your intention. Nonetheless, I think a fixed meter could have accentuated the mood of the poem.

Overall, being a very scenic poem, its power relies on how well it sets the tone and setting. I suggest you should try to improve on these aspects. With that said, I'm done with my review! Hope I helped out. Best of luck to you in your future works!

Hi LittleLee! It's Shade here to do a review today!

Let me just start off by saying that this is a great poem! Its rhythm is good, and I didn't see any problems with the grammar. I think you really captured the spirit of those wild fauns partying at night, and it's true! It does seem like the world is paused when it's night time. The only issue I had with it was that the end of the first stanza felt a little weird.

A silver-speckled dreamy night,

A million flickering shards of light,

A gleaming orb, glowing with glee,

Do we cast our visions up to see.