Hemisphere
The glorious sunsets that had entranced me when I was younger,
is now dyed with a dark red stain,
growing deeper as years pass.
Such is the result of humans' sinful acts.
The golden meadows with blooming flowers that I once laid on,
is now dry, fading and burning away in a storm.
Things of the past are now blurry images in my mind.
If it is fate, should I let it be?
Or should I take control of the wheel
and steer to a new road?
When I stood at the edge of a cliff,
adversity grabbed my arm,
and for once I could see where I was.
I'm flying - flying towards a wider, wider field,
heading towards a place where I can't even imagine.
I haven't even lived half of my life,
rebelling against, and embracing others.
I will be waiting for the day when everything changes,
marking the dawn of a new era.
When I climbed the mountain of challenges,
you took my hand and pulled me upwards,
and I could finally see the people's hidden sadness.
I want to take flight and change the world,
to restore the happiness
that was supposed to be mankind's nature.
Yes, the two hemispheres shall become one...
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,230 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
I like this. With the whole two hemispheres in the ending, is almost making the poem a metaphor to something. Darkness and light, good and evil, right and wrong. It seems like in the beginning it has to do with mistakes, but towards the end of the poem you realize you havent embraced and really listened to others as much as you could have, But with your new realization on life, you can climb a mountain and makes changes so if you wish. You await the day when the world comes together. Along those lines is what I got out of the poem. But with the whole two hemispheres in the last sentence. You could argue differently.. which is cool. I liked the poem. Good work, keep writing. Try and fit your meaning all together though. Make it a bit clearer and you will really capture your readers
Thanks for the review!
That was exceptional and very universal. What I really like about it is that it makes you think. This seems like something that you took a long time on or wrote in a spur of genius. Am I right?
There were no mistakes that I caught and it looks as though you proofread (which is always good, because that's one of my pet-peeves). The poem is similar to Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken":
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Your poem is unique, though, and has different characteristics. I will look forward to your next post.