Thanks for the reviews everyone! (I didn't expect so many. ^^)
Halo
A lament echoes.
Its waves surge across the walls of my chest,
shading my shadow with a darker hue.
I realize,
it is my own voice crying out,
hands hammering into the barrier of my heart,
wanting to be freed
from a prison of my mind.
The light that glazes above,
seeping into the bars of my cell,
is gradually fading away.
My fingers are twitching, struggling
to reach that bright, glinting beam.
As time passes, hope seems to be drowning my sorrows,
but slowly, I form a rope
out of my cluttered dreams, wishes and memories.
And unexpectedly, I manage to pull myself up.
As the wind strokes my cheek,
I recognize the face of the world.
I finally begin to walk, feet lit ablaze,
leaving behind prints of yesterday.
Determined to learn the purpose of existing,
I am ready to colour any monochrome pieces of life.
The path towards the future is a long way ahead,
but I shall move on, head held high,
eyes reflecting a halo,
burning in that distant sky.
This is very great.
As I guess others should have mentioned,
Some parts of the poem flow quite well while others don't.
Overall,I think this is a great poem. Not many mistakes.
Keep writing.
This is very great.
As I guess others should have mentioned,
Some parts of the poem flow quite well while others don't.
Overall,I think this is a great poem. Not many mistakes.
Keep writing.
Wow. Just wow. I loved the ending. It's brilliant. The imagery is fabulous. I agree with fragile heart, you started off the piece like you wanted to end it.
A lament echos
I am ready to colour any monochrome pieces of life.
The path towards the future is a long way ahead,
but I shall move on, head held high,
eyes reflecting a halo,
burning in that distant sky.
Hi there!
I really liked this poem. It was an exceptional piece of work you should be accredited for!
A lament echoes.
out of my cluttered dreams, wishes and memories.
I think this is a beautiful poem. The only thing is I think you need to capitalize every line (I don't know if that is a rule or anything) but I mean whatever your choice.
I love how realistic this is, it's as if you are really reaching out for a light, and then you finally reach it.
All in all this is lovely.
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