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They Hate Me, I Love Me (2)

by Liberty


Six days later…

"I've packed all my luggage. You won't be seeing any more of me from tomorrow onwards." I announced. Mother nodded as she took a graceful bite from her apple, and she flipped a page in her magazine.

"You have one last game tonight." Father said, entering the dining hall. "Are you ready?"

I nodded as Robbie entered the hall. "She'll do great, Father." he assured.

I smiled gratefully at him. He had taken me to the mall yesterday and he followed me everywhere, helped with my bags, helped me choose furniture for my new apartment. He was very nice and now I definitely think he's turning into a better big brother. But I‘ve got my doubts… You can't blame me.

Mother glared at Robbie and he flashed her his famous dimpled smile. She glowered at me but didn't say a word. She continued with her magazine and apple. I went up to my room and I heard Robbie following me. I turned around. "What?" I snapped. His ocean blue eyes turned dark with hurt. "Sorry." I sighed. "What do you want?"

Robbie scratched the back of his head, "I wanted to talk to you."

I rolled my eyes and sashayed into my room. Robbie chuckled behind me. I kept my door open and he came in. “So… You’re leaving. Big girl.” he sighed. I tilted my head and cautiously sat down on my queen bed.

“Spill the beans.” I said sternly, clenching the bed sheet between my fists.

“I may or may not have already set your entire apartment and I may or may not have returned all the other furniture.” he said quickly, shifting from one foot to the other.

I gasped, my grip on the bed loosening ever so slightly

“What do you mean?” I squeaked. It had taken literal ages to choose everything and now he had returned it? I shot up and walked towards him. His face turned a deep shade of red.

I raised my hand to punch him but he held my hands firm. Man he was fast. “Come check it out with me. I swear, if you don’t like it, you can kill me.” he said quietly and firmly. I took a sharp inhale and nodded stiffly.

Now.” I said stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest. He shrugged and walked out of the door. I took that as I sign to follow him and I did just that.

Once we had arrived at my apartment and Robbie took me inside, I swear I would have fainted. My apartment was magnificent. Actually, beyond magnificent.

I turned to face him behind me. He had a seriously wide grin plastered on his face. I smiled and gave him a huge hug. He hugged me back and at that moment, I felt like I was in the safest place on the planet. Letting go, Robbie told me to go check it out and that he’d be downstairs waiting. When I agreed, he left faster than lightning.

I wandered into the kitchen. I noticed that all the kitchenware was from my favorite brand - KitchenAid. I smiled at that. I spotted a Tasty cookbook laid down on the counter and laughed as I picked it up. I’d showed Robbie the YouTube videos and he loved it!

Walking out of the kitchen, I entered the dining area. My eyes widened in shock when I my eyes landed on all the beautiful silverware tucked into the glass cupboard. I ran my hands over the six-seater oak dining table.

I looked up and saw the living room. The dining and living were in the same room. The living had Hamilton Leather couches and my jaw dropped at the flat screen TV. Even at the house we didn’t have those!

I rushed into my room, excitement bubbling up in me. I squealed when I went in there. A four poster bed. The cutest study table ever. A walk in closet. My own bathroom. A balcony. Everything I’ve ever wanted and more!

...A box? Cardboard. I don’t think those are furniture. And I didn't want those. But... Maybe it could be the latest type of furniture that I have no clue about? I bent down to take a look at it and I noticed it smelled funny. There were tiny holes on it. I cocked my head.

The box moved.

I let out a yelp.

And soon, a cat popped out.

I screamed and the cat hissed, its fur getting fluffier than ever. Jumping up onto my feet, I sprinted down to the car and yelled, “YOU GOT ME A CAT!” I jumped into Robbie’s arms, which he had already opened. He grinned down at me, and I planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I have never acted like this. 

Never.

But now, I have a reason to! A cat!

“You like her, eh?” he smiled.

I nodded so fast, I wonder all the time why my head didn’t snap off.

I ran back into the apartment, and whistled. The cat came running. I grinned. She was a beautiful Calico cat and she had Emerald green eyes. When I was bending down to pick her up, I gawked.

Another cat came out of my room. No way. I have two cats.

I smiled, and looked at the other Calico with the brightest sky blue eyes.

Emerald and Sky.

The cats came towards me. “I love you both of you.” I hugged them both, smiling.

“I love you too.” my brother said from behind me. Releasing the cats, I pulled Robbie into a tight hug. 

"You really are a great brother." I whispered as I looked up at him. He playfully smirked and I punched him lightly on the shoulder.

From that day on, I was a successful person. People looked down upon me since I stopped being a basketball player and became a lawyer. I loved it. Most people looked up to me because I did what I knew was right. 

And now, looking back, I know I made the right choice.

Word count: 1018


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78 Reviews


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Thu Oct 03, 2019 11:44 pm
WinnyWriter wrote a review...



This is pretty nice, but is this the end already? I would have liked to see it drawn out a little more. Your idea is cool, though. I also like how you employed the term "sashayed." :) Uncommon word, but those make reading more interesting. I feel like the writer is more educated and knowledgeable when they use cool and unusual words. Really awesome.




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Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:10 pm
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JacyBuschman wrote a review...



Hello Liberty!

What a cute, warm-hearted encounter. I am already jealous my first apartment didn't come with all these things, especially the kitties!

I like the style and voice of this, it's a young person, and the lack of detail helps with that voice, especially because they are excited about all that is around them but I still think it needs a little more just to really bring the reader in to fully visualize how great all of these name-branded, expensive, furniture is. Tell me the colors of the furniture, tables, bed, decor, more of the layout of the apartment as a whole, is it big? Small? I do admit I haven't read the first part of this so maybe these don't apply but I thought I'd mention it.

Some grammarly issues I noticed are below:

>>>I smiled gratefully at him. He had taken me to the mall yesterday and he followed me everywhere, helped with my bags, helped me choose furniture for my new apartment. He was very nice and now I definitely think he's turning into a better big brother.

The "at him" is not necessary, we know that it's definitely not the mother being smiled at.
The second sentence is a bit of a run-on. Maybe something like "While at the mall yesterday, he --------------" would make it flow better. 3rd sentence again, a run-on and could be broken into two without joining with "and".


>>>I went up to my room and I heard Robbie following me. I turned around. "What?" I snapped. His ocean blue eyes turned dark with hurt. "Sorry." I sighed. "What do you want?"


The first sentence doesn't flow well. Maybe something like "I went up to my room, hearing Robbie following behind me" would be better. A lot of your writing has too many "and"s.

>>>I took that as I sign to follow him and I did just that.

Don't need to state "I" again when saying "I did just that".

>>>Once we had arrived at my apartment and Robbie took me inside, I swear I would have fainted.

Instead of would, "could".

>>>A four poster bed. The cutest study table ever. A walk in closet. My own bathroom. A balcony. Everything I’ve ever wanted and more!

I see what you are trying to do here stylistically, but this is where I would suggest putting A L O T of detail in, to give us a visual of all this amazing stuff. You start describing the layout of the house, like the closet and bathroom, but is this the first time she's been in the apartment? Most people check out their apartments before they rent and sign, so it's great to say these things, but they shouldn't be a surprise to her.

>>>...A box? Cardboard. I don’t think those are furniture. And I didn't want those. But... Maybe it could be the latest type of furniture that I have no clue about?

This part needs some work, I've tried reading over it a few times, to try and understand it but I think it was just rushed idea. It's a singular box, so "those are furniture" doesn't fit, or is it multiple boxes?



Overall it's great! I really love how you closed off the ending. Especially the last paragraph and so on. To connect with the character on making the right decision even if people don't believe in you feels great and is rewarding.

Keep up the good work!




Liberty says...


Thanks for the review, Jacy! <3




I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest