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Love Song

by Lia5Giba


Vocals: https://voca.ro/aERr9Hen0Lm

~~

I’ve already asked you too many times

But will you be my Valentine?

Chocolates seem fake to me

But I’ll give you more if you need

~~

Rejections are futile in my mind

I need you to be my Valentine

I need only you in my life

Can I please be yours, you’re already mine

~~

Over the years I’ve felt this attraction

At first it was small but now you’re a magnet

I can’t take my eyes off your beautiful face

I can’t concentrate, you take up this space

In my brain whenever we’re in the same room

All I’ve ever wanted were the words “I love you too”

But here I am, here you are

And somehow I’m still asking you

~~

I’ve already told you too many times

But you make me float to the sky

In my bedroom I break down and cry

‘Cause you still won’t look me in the eye

~~

I don’t want to seem clingy to you

I promised you that my words were true

It’s the fourteenth of February again

I wanna be more than any of your friends

~~

Over the years I’ve felt this attraction

At first it was small but now you’re a magnet

I can’t take my eyes off your beautiful face

I can’t concentrate, you take up this space

In my brain whenever we’re in the same room

All I’ve ever wanted were the words “I love you too”

But here I am, here you are

And somehow I’m still asking you

~~

I want this to work

You don’t understand how long

I have pined after you

You don’t understand how many

Mountains I’ve climbed for you

You don’t understand how many

I’ve left behind just for you

You don’t understand all the

Times I have paced in my room,

Wishing and dying and praying

For you to see me

As I see you

For you to love me

As I love you

~~

Over the years I’ve felt this attraction

At first it was small but now you’re a magnet

I can’t take my eyes off your beautiful face

I can’t concentrate, you take up this space

In my brain whenever we’re in the same room

All I’ve ever wanted were the words “I love you too”

But here I am, here you are

And somehow I’m still asking you

~~

Why am I still asking you?


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56 Reviews


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Sat Jul 04, 2020 10:17 pm
Plume says...



OOOOH BARS!!! YES. THIS IS INCREDIBLE AND YOU'RE AMAZING.




Lia5Giba says...


Thank you so much! <3



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Sat Jul 04, 2020 3:49 am
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CrimsonSparrow wrote a review...



This is my first review in ever on this site. I hope my review is something of help because i have no idea what to do at all. (please don't hurt me, i'm scared.)

I listened to your voice and I think you sound shaky, but I can't sing at all. Of course I can't sing, so I will just go into the song, but good voice.

"Chocolates seem fake to me

But I’ll give you more if you need"

(excuse me, don't attack chocolate like that.)
I don't think that line sounds too good because it doesn't work well with the other before. I am focusing on the last, the chocolate seemed a little childish, like it was one of those fake love kind of things, but the last changed up play. (i'm still salty over that diss to chocolate.)

I hope this did something|sparrow




Lia5Giba says...


I%u2019m sorry about the chocolate! :) Thank you for this! I know my voice doesn%u2019t sound the best here, and I%u2019ll think about how I could change those lines. I don%u2019t think chocolates are bad (I love chocolate), I%u2019ve just never found them to be a really genuine gift of romantic love. I dunno, just my opinion. :D



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Sat Jul 04, 2020 3:47 am
starlitmind says...



You have a beautiful voice <3




Lia5Giba says...


Thank you <3



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Sat Jul 04, 2020 3:30 am
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soundofmind wrote a review...



Hey Lia! Here to give your lovely song a review :)

Oh, the pain of unrequited love. I think this song does a great job of summing it up with using Valentine's day as a theme throughout.

I listened to your singing as I read along with it, and you have such a lovely voice! I know you said there was no music in the background but I could imagine in my head what the music score behind the lyrics might sound like. I enjoyed your melodies and I think the melody you've got going for the chorus is catchy and strong! I can see this as a song that would easily get stuck in people's heads, and with love songs like this, especially ones that fall into the pop genre, that's exactly what you want!

Can I please be yours, you’re already mine

This I found to be an interesting line, mostly because of the way my mind interprets it. The whole song is about asking the one you're pining after to accept you as their valentine, and you say they're already yours - but my brain is like: how can they be yours if it's not MUTUAL?!?!?! Don't they have to give you their heart too?? YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE IT. Of course, that only makes the pain of unrequited love more painful if you put it that way lol.

BUT THAT'S JUST MY MIND OVERTHINKING THE MEANING OF ONE LINE, and that doesn't mean you have to change it or anything. I think it still works!

Over the years I’ve felt this attraction
At first it was small but now you’re a magnet
I can’t take my eyes off your beautiful face
I can’t concentrate, you take up this space

I also really like the rhyme between "attraction" and "magnet!" And I don't know if this was intentional, or if it just happened, but I like how "concentrate" also partially rhyme with "face" and "space," creating a lot of that hard "a" sound. Very nice.

It’s the fourteenth of February again
I wanna be more than any of your friends

These lines feel a little more clunky and I think it's because of the syllable count - but I think it could easily be mended just in the way you sing it. It sounded like you stumbled over it just a little bit, and I do too when reading (even without hearing your voice). You might have to sing through it a little faster, haha. That's how I cheat when syllables don't match up perfectly ;)

You don’t understand how many
Mountains I’ve climbed for you
You don’t understand how many
I’ve left behind just for you

This part feels a little vague to me, and I kind of want to challenge you to tease it out a bit. I know there's not a lot space to add a lot more to the song, but I'd be curious to see if you could slip in a little more specifics about what exactly the singer has given up and overcome in hopes of being with the one they love. I know with love songs a lot of the time it's a little vague for the sake of being relatable (or not giving away who they like lol) but this just felt more like stuff I've heard before. THAT SAID, love songs have been around for AGES so there will always be a little bit that feels like it's been done before because it probably has.

And one last note: I would definitely suggest changing the title of the song to something different than "Love Song!" I don't think it's bad! But, it's so non-specific and you totally have lots of great material in the song to use to give the song a name that's more specific to it and feels more unique!

ALL THAT TO SAY, this really is a really nice song and I would love to hear it as a fully realized song with music in the background and everything. It has the potential to be something really great and your voice has such a nice soft and tender feel to it that really helps deliver the lyrics with a punch.

Great job Lia! :D

-sound




Lia5Giba says...


Thank you, really. I don%u2019t usually write or sing songs, so this is new. I know you%u2019ve got great songs, so I%u2019ll definitely think about your advice. Thank you for writing this! :D



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Fri Jul 03, 2020 5:31 pm
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mercurialbuddha wrote a review...



Hey Lia,
I hope you are having a great day and my note finds you in great health. To be honest I hate love songs and I believe there is more to life than crappy songs about breakup and flirting. These pop artists like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry to name a few have further degraded my view of this category.
I had mixed feelings about this post, then I was like" you have clicked it anyways so let's head on with an open mind". Oh boy I was surprised! Those lyrics are so heartfelt and different. There is a hint of sarcasm and I really enjoyed them. You have really poured your heart out!

Don't get me started with the vocals, you really have the chops!
Man yoiu should write and sing more. You are better than these stupid "pop-stars", atleast I can feel the vulnerability and soul in your song.
I dont wanna sound cheesy or like an internet pervert, but I may have fallen in love with your voice. I dont think I can get that sweet and tender voice out of my mind any time soon!
I really liked the ending, where you were almost on the verge of breaking down.




Lia5Giba says...


Thank you so much! I%u2019m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for this! :D



Lia5Giba says...


And also, you%u2019re fine. :)





Would really love to collaborate with you! You can check my poem as well. I wrote one on religion, which is my first post.



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Fri Jul 03, 2020 1:33 am
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GBKiller says...



Woooowwww!!!! Loved it! Your voice is so beautiful!




Lia5Giba says...


Thank you!!! Really! :D




A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
— Steve Martin