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The Epic of James - First Half

by LeutnantSchweinehund


The Epic of James

Born of deathless blood, that of the mother. Yet his father stands a hulking giant, strong and large, though mortal, subject to the grasp of death. A God was born, though halved, split in two, with no regards for earthly souls. Little did he know that the mother's blood seldom passed through her child's veins, for it is the father's soul that oft ventures forth. As painful as this truth may be, its validity and cruel honesty shan't be questioned by frail men, for it is up to mighty Gods, the great lawgivers of our realm, to decide what is true and what is false.

Oh the day good James met his bitter fate, the day his own humanity sapped the soul within...

The tears that were shed and the prayers that were spoken. Oh, the ground shook beneath those colossal feet, his godly voice roaring through the valley and upon the mountain side...

He cried, he scorned, he fought and mourned, yet true Gods show no mercy, only cruel deeds.

Piety and purity, modesty and love; all had failed, replaced with the red of wrath and war, the domain of ruthless men.

In the end, James the Godlike, a legend among titans, had been reduced to ash, turned to myth, thrown down from the heavenly skies, smote by his kin, now to face this mortal destiny...

And so the half-god giant rejoined the mortal realm once more, showered in glory as he defeated all foes, conquered all lands, ruling fairly over the people whose proud hearts he had won. He gathered wisdom, rejoicing in the great wealth he had so rightfully earned. Yet a single foe remains. A foul serpent, slithering through the tall green grass, rising up to strike.

"Time... Time is the greatest of foes, my only rival, the demise of James the Conqueror... What must I do, oh great deities of our world? Must I pray? Must I beg? So much blood I have shed; do you not find me worthy of your gift? Bestow upon me the right of immortality, or by the mother, I shall quell the heavens and take off your Godly head!"

Twelve nights of raging storms, twelve years of famine... Disease, death and suffering; all met James the Titan, impeding his path to eternity. And so the great titan commands all loyal folks to throw down the gold in favor of the hammer, for the time has come to subdue the very skies above... The last crusade of humankind...

The war lasted an age, bringing draught, pain, and sorrow. Soldiers fought, Titans raged, felling Gods and slaughtering their comrades, staring in the face of riches yet unbeknownst to earthly beings.

Forests which blaze with blinding light, oceans laden with crimson blood, hailstorms of flesh rage above as the tears of the last Gods showered the earth, and all became still...

What remained of James the Conqueror? He was driven mad, banished. Made an irrational man with irrational dreams, an irrational mind, with little logic there to seek.

"James the Godlike? James the Unfortunate, more like! An oaf and a fool! Born of goats, raised by cattle, servant to the devil himself! Never cross his path, for he brings only death and famine! Shelter your children from this foul beast! Thou shalt not meet his deathly gaze, nor his fiery breath!"

"To see the unseen, with blind eyes that shone so brightly in the dark of night..." A small fly dreamt, its meager wings like autumn leaves, fluttering with melancholy.

"To know the unknown, with nothing but a shattered mind..." It desperately wept, watching as the crescent moon descends.

"To become oneself, and accept the gift of mortal men..." Sorrow filled the starry night.

Sad was the tale of the fly. Sad, yet honest and raw.

Though in truth, no fly exists! No! The fly is James, and James is the fly, only broken, lost. What had driven poor James mad? Had it been the wine? Possibly the noxious plants? The poison of war? The spirit of conquest, perhaps?

"I shall not forsake my blood... I am a God, and I would sooner travel to the depths of hell than surrender the gift of immortality!"

And so he shan't...


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Sat Oct 01, 2016 3:49 am
thepapermonster wrote a review...



I. AM. AMAZED! I have nothing to say critique wise. Like literally! All I can give is my praise! So, content wise, this is so interesting. And you spin the tail so well! I totally expect this to be published as a YA series. Why hasn't it yet? I love the story, I love the way you tell it. But I don't know what to expect of James, he scares me already. Is he an antihero? I would like to see more of the scenery. Like, please paint a more detailed picture for me.
So, I was interested in reading this story after reading your post about looking for artwork for this piece. I am an artist (I like to think that I specialize in anime, cartoon, and I fair well enough with realism) and I am kinda interesting in doing some sketches.




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Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:28 pm
Dracula wrote a review...



Hey there, LeutnantSchweinehund, and welcome to the Young Writers Society!

The first paragraph is very majestically written, with a real 'fairy tale' and 'ancient legend' style of writing. It may confuse some readers, so I thought I'd write down how I understood it so you can see how it might be interpreted. How I understood it: His father was a mortal, but quite a famous, heroic, and handsome man. He attracted the attention of a female goddess, and she then gave birth to your main character. Generally, children take a greater liking to their fathers, so the m.c. should have been mortal. However, by the will of the gods, he was born like his mother; an immortal.

He cried, he scorned, he fought and mourned, yet true Gods show no mercy, only cruel deeds.
A little voice inside me swears that this is a reference to something in a classical text. Am I right?

And so the half-god giant rejoined the mortal realm once more, showered in glory as he defeated all foes, conquered all lands, ruling fairly over the people whose proud hearts he had won. He gathered wisdom, rejoicing in the great wealth he had so rightfully earned. Yet a single foe remains. A foul serpent, slithering through the tall green grass, rising up to strike.
This is more of a nitpick than something that has to necessarily be fixed. Earlier on, you started a new paragraph at almost every new sentence, even if a new paragraph wasn't needed. This is fine, it has a poetic effect. However, because of that, I felt that the above paragraph was too long, and could be split into two to retain that 'poetic' feel. I would begin a new paragraph at 'yet a single foe remains'. That's pretty much where the new thought begins.

"I shall not forsake my blood... I am a God, and I would sooner travel to the depths of hell than surrender the gift of immortality!"
He certainly hs the arrogance of a god/titan/immortal being. Your character is in every way suited to classical mythology, so you obviously have knowledge of the subject and that comes across in your writing. I enjoyed reading this. I reckon some illustrations would go amazingly with this! You should head to the forums and see if anyone is offering to draw some pictures. Anyway, loved this, please share the next part and let me know when you do! :)






Thanks for the review! Your interpretation is pretty much how I intended for the story to unfold. Originally, it was highly inspired by the Epic of Gilgamesh from Mesopotamia, as the main character strives to become immortal.

Originally, James was not immortal. He was mortal like his father, because the Gods had forsaken him. He possessed the traits of a God, but the ruthless nature of the titans, so while a legend, he was deemed unfit to live alongside the Gods. He acquired his immortality eventually, during the great war, and replaced the Gods with his kin (the titans).

The line could be a reference. I think I heard it somewhere, but I can't quite say where it's from.

I wholly agree on the paragraph break. It was partly messed up formatting, as I originally wrote this in Wordpad, so I'll make sure to pay more attention to these details next time around.

Anyway, thanks for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the "story" (more of a summary, as tigeraye stated). As I said, it's my first serious work, so it's encouraging to know that I have the capacity to succeed.



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Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:25 pm
tigeraye wrote a review...



You certainly have an interesting style of writing -- this reads as if was inspired by some of the old romanticism authors. It's very poetic and fascinating, worded in an intriguingly cryptic manner. I read it twice in order to better understand it because of it's nature, and I feel like I could read it a hundred more times and still pick up something new and interesting from doing so.

But oftentimes this piece reads as a summary instead of a story. You tell us that James went through great battles and slayed his enemies, but without the raw emotion and brutality that goes along with those battles, we don't get to really go through it ourselves. You tell us that the war lasted an age, but when the actual description of the war only lasts two sentences, it's tough for a reader to actually feel how a war should feel. "Oceans laden with criminal blood" is a genius line that depicts the brutality perfectly, but I feel like I want more than that.

James the Godlike? James the Unfortunate, more like!


I love this line.

Overall I was really impressed like this, it's very mature and intelligently written. I hope to see you share more stories soon.






I agree, yes. It is more or less a summary. I wanted to write it in a Biblical fashion, allowing the reader to make their own image of the great war. For example, I imagine soldiers clad in shining armor climbing the great mountain, building weapons of war, watching as the wounded fall from the sky, with red clouds above. However, I may have overdone that effect a bit. It was partly laziness, to be honest.

I'm glad you found the story so interesting! That's the type of writer I enjoy being. I want to encourage my readers to read the text multiple times, because that's the type of literature I love the most. I'm happy to have succeeded in that respect!

Thanks again! I'll make sure to be a little more descriptive in the next part, which should come relatively soon.




You wake up in the morning and it feels impossible? Good. You do it anyway.
— Martin Scorcese