In valleys where the old souls rest,
there where gleaming eyes do shine,
in shock and awe of lightning so,
of God who stoked the flame.
Yes, there I part with thought,
with ugly wounds then wrought,
by demons trapped within the heart,
those I hadn't caught.
I am more wound than I am flesh,
rather struck in meat and gut,
and broken as my soul may be,
can my heart prevail?
Yes, there I part with bone,
shattered upon stone,
for I have lost my wit,
and misery I've shown.
Wave goodbye and cross the lake,
the river so, Moldau strong,
break upon the shores like dust,
dust from which you came.
Yes, there I part with love,
that broken-hearted dove,
and all who love me still,
forcefully I'll shove.
For love is what departs in end,
that maiden shrouded, coarse,
and strikes with blade the wounded man,
to end a dream, go break a neck.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
To me, it sounds as if this came from sincere feelings or experience, although it is kind of rude of me to infer anything about you from what I've read. This is just a website though. To me, it's almost as if someone is just rethinking his or her life, only to be left with regret. Spending restless hours agonizing over their trauma. The writing is really archaic, so I cannot really relate to this all too much. In all honesty I'm typing this at three in the morning, so my review may not be all that great. I just think that this is a legitimately well typed (or written) poem, although I wish this gave more of an insight on human nature. The wording leaves an impression, but what it says sounds a bit dramatized. That isn't bad though. Upon reading I visualized it as if it were a play. Overall, it's a great poem.
8/10
To me, it sounds as if this came from sincere feelings or experience, although it is kind of rude of me to infer anything about you from what I've read. This is just a website though. To me, it's almost as if someone is just rethinking his or her life, only to be left with regret. Spending restless hours agonizing over their trauma. The writing is really archaic, so I cannot really relate to this all too much. In all honesty I'm typing this at three in the morning, so my review may not be all that great. I just think that this is a legitimately well typed (or written) poem, although I wish this gave more of an insight on human nature. The wording leaves an impression, but what it says sounds a bit dramatized. That isn't bad though. Upon reading I visualized it as if it were a play. Overall, it's a great poem.
8/10
I really love your poetry!
This is professional poetry, worthy of incredible praise. You really capture the feelings here and I can feel the emotion that drives this.
I had to look up the word 'Moldau' to see what it meant, and apparently its a river in the Czech Republic, correct? Thats a nice bit of info you put in there.
And to think English is your second language is very impressive. One day I hop to learn a second language as well as you have.
Overall, this was excellent. 9/10