Run!
Run quick!
Before they catch you.
Before they take you back.
You must run away.
Run away from them.
They are dangerous.
They will hurt you.
So run!
Run like the wind!
Because if they catch you,
They will take you back.
They will take you back,
To that horrible place.
That place where bones are broken.
And muscles are pulled.
The place of horror,
Where sweat and blood mingle.
That torture-house.
That dungeon of pain.
That place will make you feel,
Like you have died,
Because you will.
That's what they want.
That place where different machines,
Make those sinister sounds.
You will be forced,
Forced to go back.
So run!
Run from them!
Run from that terrifying place!
The place they call,
The "Gymnasium".
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139,365 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
The last sentence made me laugh XD 'cus the whole time I thought you were talking about something totally different!
In English we are reading Anne Frank and I thought you were describing the concentration camps or something else horrid.
So thanks for making me LOL!
~GMAmuffin~
Im just kidding i dont go to that school but i still dont like health class
Im one of those people and i dont want to exerzize even more but i still have to in gym class in the huge school they call flacon cove... But helth class is just anotherstory of exersise... I woul ratjer import the gym room then helath portable. Ugh that class is a nightmare.
This one touched me personally, seeing as i am the laziest person i have ever met. You did a really nice job at making something thats so normal to most seem so sinister, painful, and scary. In my opinion, however, i think that the last stanza does not actually need a rhyme, and i feel it is perfectly fine how it is. Sorry Adriana
Anyway, i can't find any grammatical mistakes, or any other changes i would make to the poem. Very well done!
Keep writing
arspoetica
Hahahaha
I so loved it!!!
You make us fell afraid of something before we can even identify it.
It is funny (at the end, of course) and extremely real (you really scared me at the beginning)
There's one thing though...
I think a rhyme would be nice here...
That's all I have to say, sorry if I couldn't help you so much...
Congratulations! Keep writing!
Hi there!
Although as a college athlete, I probably will feel this way in a couple of weeks.
I am a gym rat, I take offense to this! Nah, I'm kidding.
I enjoyed reading this. You had me going for a while, thinking you were actually talking about a torture chamber. I was thining, where is this going? Anyway, the flow of this is great and I like how you repeated certain lines. Like how you repeated the last line of the third stanza at the beginning of the fourth stanza. It added to the rhythm of this and kept the poem moving along. Imagery was great as well. You did a good job describing what's happening in this "horror-house".
Okay, so you tell us here about the machines. But later you tell us this is a gymnasium. To me, a gymnasium is where you play sports. I know you mean a gym where you go to work out, so say that instead of gymnasium. Wow, I think I quoted the wrong part. Oh well, I think you get my point.
Overall I really liked this. Great twist at the end. Keep writing!