The world has entered chaos, global markets everywhere have plummeted. Someone has caused this but who?.
In Hawaii, a grayish figure floating mysteriously above the island, smiles and remarks,
"No one will live, no one will survive, everyone will die".
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, this was an extraordinarily short prologue, but hmm, well it certainly got to the point very fast and very effectively. I just liked the general vibe that came off of this one which is why I thought I should drop off a quick review here. Anyway, let's begin with the general content of this prologue.
Alright, so well, the start here is a little bit more of a modern sense of doom, with the plummeting of markets being mentioned rather than just general death, fire and the usual methods that the apocalypse operates as. That's certainly an interesting touch. Makes you think this might somehow be a little different to most apocalypse stories. And then of course it switches immediately to a bit more traditional apocalypse. Now I can't quite figure out who this mysterious figure is and why Hawaii seems to be the center of destruction, but that tiny detail certainly gives a lot more food for thought, and well, that's always fun. Hmm, and of course that very ominous little message at the end, I've seen a thousand variations of declarations like that but it never does get old for me. A wonderfully mysterious ending for a prologue at any rate.
Well, anyway, I feel like this might need a touch more detail before its big enough to warrant its existence, but otherwise, as a prologue, I feel like it certainly gets you interested in reading the story, even if only to figure out what Hawaii has to do with this.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I'm sorry, what is this?.
this was interesting enough 
I don't remember novel's prologs being so short and barely scratching the surface, the prolog should be at least ten lines my dear, also very little description may cause others to just drop your story dear.
My advise it to add a bit more to this prolog. At least something about the situation more than this.
But to be honest, I'm a little interested, when someone writes a story about the world ending. I would love to know how they will pull it off
Still...you said glabal markets have plummeted, so this is the financial fall? Another economic crisis? Or is it a natural or paranormal disaster? I couldn't really tell from the so little description.
Anyhow, I advice you add more to the prolog.
But this wasn't all bad
Keep writing dear!
Well, it was suppose to give you a sense of mystery...... but ok
I'm sorry, I've been reading stories and plots for so long, its hard for me to get surprised anymore ^^' but I still liked it
I would like to see more of this
...
Hey Leek!
So a review.
Your piece is quite short so my review probably will be too. But, I loved it!!!
Okay, suggestions before I get to the good stuff and start rambling on.
Here goes:
This is more of a grammatical point. You've started a new paragraph after a comma. I don't think that grammatically you're really supposed to do this. Perhaps if you just didn't start a new paragraph and just carried on. Although I see what you're trying to do, because the way you have structured it creates additional drama, it just isn't grammatically correct if you see what I mean.
Okay, my final suggestion, perhaps you could add a little more description? Just so it's a little easier to picture. But again I actually quite like it as is, the fact that it is so short and snappy, it creates additional drama. It also has a strong sense of mystery! Which I love! I also love how I don't know hardly anything about what is going on. I guess that the figure is the mastermind behind the chaos around the world, but who is the figure? Because I know so little I love it that much more. I want to know what's going on as well as what's going to happen next!
So yeah, it's great! I can't wait to read the next parts to see what's going on!!!
Well the parts will come burn the parts will come and thanks for the review !