Whispers of the soul

Hey!! Ava here...
I'll just start with the review.

I could immediately tell that how genuine these feelings were as I read the poem. I loved the choice of words and how you compare your loved one's beauty with a rose. And I especially loved these lines,

This world is a cruel place,

For a beautiful rose like you.

I want to pick you and hold you in my hands,

WOW!!!! This is the creme da la creme of romance! We need a centerpiece to celebrate effectively. Be prepared to see it in the middle of this review. That is, of course, if it transpires accurately given YSW's format. Let's get into the amor!

First things first, I am in love with this flow. Although poems and prose does not have to be limited to a rhythm, flow, or syllabic verse, I am an avid fan of when it does. Whenever I come across a piece that does not fit this element, I am usually torn between missing and wishing it did and/or the lackluster that it can have. I find that a lot of times these pieces must have astronomical meaning, themes, imagery, word choice, etc. for them to hit the same for me. However, you have done this without that!

Second things second, speaking of imagery, you have me visualizing a scene where two lovers are talking over the phone while one is upset, a rose slowly wilting away, and these scenes feel like they were right behind my eyes, waiting for them to open to be seen as I read. BRAVO!

Brief intermission where I present to you..... A ROSE!
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Third things third, there is NOTHING about this that needs improved. It is the right length to get the point across. How it starts and ends similarly feels very cyclitic and brings things back around nicely. There are no spelling issues. I appreciate the lines being broken up how they are.

Last things last, I am honored to have been brought into piece. It made me think of someone who I feel this way about <3

Wishing you well wherever you are in the world,

∧,,,∧ ~ ┏━━━━━━━━┓
( ̳• · • ̳) ~ ♡ With love, a ♡
/ づ ~ ┗━━━━━━━━┛

Hello! The idea behind this poem is really nice. I like the repetition of the lines,

“I will listen to the sound of your breathing,
And you can listen to my heartbeat”

in the first and the last stanza. The only suggestions I have is that, the word “beautiful” is repeated three times in second stanza, so maybe use synonyms of beautiful instead? And I think if you changed these lines,

“And anyone who says otherwise,
Is a fool.
The world is a cruel place,”

I get what you’re trying to say, but I think it could be better expressed if it was more subtle? Because the lines are kind of cliche. So maybe say something about the soil of the world, which is toxic and the rose deserves a better home. My favourite lines are,

“I want to place you delicately in a vase,
And stare at you until you grow old.”

That’s all I have to say. Keep writing and good luck!