A whisper in the void, a solitary plea,
A heart encased in silence, yearning to be free.
The world spins on, a blur of faces unknown,
Leaving me adrift, in the quiet, all alone.
.
The laughter of others, a distant, fading sound,
In the chamber of my thoughts, where I am bound.
The echo of my voice, the only one I own,
In the sad serenade of being all alone.
.
The touch of the world, so near yet so far,
Like the light of a long-forgotten star.
Alone I stand, amidst the cheer and the fun,
A shadow fading with the setting sun.
.
The clock ticks on, a relentless drone,
Marking time that's mine and mine alone.
A single candle flickers, a wavering light,
Its dance a testament to the coming night.
.
No footsteps to break the solemn gloom,
No laughter to lift the weight of doom.
Just me, myself, and the silence I've sown,
In the sad serenade of being alone.
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hello fellow writer! Ley here to write a tortoise-y review on this amazing work you've published! This is a new review style that I'm using only for the month of June, in spirit of the Great Tortoise Race! Let's get started, 'shell' we? xD
Shell Start:This poem spoke to me on so many levels. I sometimes think of loneliness as a disease or sickness, because to me when you feel lonely you sometimes feel like nothing can help it-- no matter how hard you try. I really resonated with this specific poem because I feel the same way sometimes, especially in this day and age. Let's get into the specifics!
Favorite Leaf:
I love the imagery you provided here. Some of my favorite examples of that in this poem would be:
I could literally imagine these things; a beating heart encapsulated in the dreaded silence, almost as if it stopped beating. A shadow just fading away like the sun does on the horizon. It's truly remarkable how much you were able to make me feel so many emotions while reading this poem!
The rhyme scheme was also amazing!
Shell Fractures:
I don't usually like giving criticism on poetry, only because I feel like it's usually personal and or unique to the writer. Poetry is all about artistic expression, and you definitely proved that here in this piece! <3
Overall: This was a super relatable read. I hope that if this is how you feel, you know that we're all here for you <333 You're an awesome writer! Can't wait to read more of your poems soon :]
Thank you for taking the time to read this review! I hope to see you join the race, and keep being awesome! Happy Writing~
Hey there friend! I hope your day is lovely so far! Ellie here to leave you a quick review for this poem
Wow, this is a very interesting poem. My first impressions are that it is very organized with a rhyme scheme and organized look throughout. You use a pretty good amount of vocabulary that it almost feels robotic or generated. Let's get into some of my impressions of the content:
Your poem speaks a lot about loneliness while being around others. It also talks about how you are stuck in your thoughts, while being by others. This is very relatable when it comes to feeling like an outsider in social situations. The image of an echo being heard only by yourself sticks out in my mind. No one else to hear, except your own voice.
The image of a setting sun is really lovely. In my opinion, this is a lovely poem, but you repeat the same sort of message multiple times. I would love to see more personal details and variety. What emotions are you feeling and why? Have you felt this way your whole life? What do you see and how do your emotions feel in your body?
You have some cool metaphors in this poem. I liked the echo and the clock ticking on. Overall, an interesting read. I enjoy the message behind these words. I would love to see some more free style poetry too.
Your friend,
Ellie
grab your tissues....~