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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

A Life In A Nutshell (WARNING : may be triggering to some)

by KFdreams02


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

So, if you could tell me what you think, I would enjoy some feedback.  If people like this, I'll go into more detail and maybe write a book.  (P.S. Sorry if some of the scenes are kinda graphic, I just wanted to get everything out)

I was born to teen parents.  My mom was barely fifteen and my dad was eighteen or nineteen.  They were kinda off and on when it came to their relationship, but when mom turned eighteen, they got married.  My dad was a soldier in the army, doing three tours in Iraq, so he wasn't home much.  But when he was, our house became hell.  He drank a good amount at parties, to the point where he couldn't walk up the stairs or get undressed without mom's help.  But he didn't exactly repay her with kindness.  He would get pissed, hit the wall, scream at mom, hit her... I would sit in my room and turn the TV up as loud as it would go, but I never could block it out completely.

Finally, after being married only a little over a year, my mom had enough.  She told him that she was leaving, and he did even worse to her than he had done before.  He... violated her.  Around that time was when mom got into trouble with the law and got five years of probation.  Because of her legal issues, and my dad never being around and being dangerous, I went to live with my grandparents at the age of four.  

As a short and chunky little blonde haired girl, I was extremely sensitive, and took things to heart way too easily (now days, I don't really care).  For the next six years I would live with my grandparents, and during that time, I would get bullied at school for being fat, then I'd come home to hear my grandma tell me the same thing.  Also while living there, I would have nightmares about everything that went on while mom and dad were married.  They stopped after a year or two, but last year they started up again.  Let's just say it was hard and still kinda is.

At the age of five, my dad started visiting me at my grandparents house when he wasn't busy overseas.  I would normally see him about once or twice a year, and I know that doesn't sound like much, but it's a lot compared to now.  That's also when the sexual abuse started, or at least, that's the first time I remember it happening.  I would sleep in my underwear cause I didn't like pajamas, and when dad was there, I'd sleep in the guest bed with him.  One night I was laying there, trying to go to sleep, when he kisses my cheek.  Alright, nothing wrong with that.  But then... he moved his hand... and slipped it between my legs.  I remember being so confused and scared and humiliated, but I couldn't move, and I didn't tell anyone.  This treatment would only continue.

In third grade, I became homeschooled.  It was definitely different from my private Christian school that I had been going to since the start, but I still enjoyed it, and I learned at my own pace. 

At the age of nine, almost ten, I moved back in with my mom.  I had seen her more often than I did my dad, so we were a little closer, but not by much.  She had gotten married to my step dad, and they had one kid at the time, my little sister.  She was living on a ranch with them, and it took some getting used to, but to this day, I love this life more than anything.  

Later that year, my dad got me a computer.  It was a small, red "DELL" laptop.  Of course, at that age, I was getting curious about some things.  So, long story short, I looked up some not-so-good things on Google and got caught three months later.  Word got out to some kids that came out to the ranch every once and a while, and that's when my bull shit reputation started forming.

Well, at eleven I started getting a little down cuz, like the kids at my school and my grandma back home, the kids out there made sure I knew that I was fat.  So, I started sneaking a few sips of alcohol when I was down.  It was my coping method, and it wasn't a good one, though I never became an alcoholic (thank the Lord).  But, this would lead to me trying to become anorexic and then bulimic, both plans that were stopped by my best friend Jody.

Also at the age of eleven, my reputation escalated.  I got caught sexting a fourteen year old boy on FaceBook, and I was caught three days before some 'plans' were gonna go down.  I became known as the slut, not only because of my incidents online, but also because of my inappropriate personality, and most of my friends being guys because I don't get along very well with girls.  Even my parents were telling me that I was gonna get knocked up before I was out of my teenage years.

August 2015 was the last time I saw my dad.  I had gotten to the point where I would try to make him abuse me cause it's the only attention he would give me that I knew he meant it.  It's something that I've remained ashamed of to this day, and I probably always will.  Last time I saw him, he grabbed my ass and was like, "Damn!  Look at this thing, it's huge!"

In September 2015 I started going to church, and since then, I have found that God has helped me a lot through things.  Even though I was raised in a religious family my whole life, this is the first time I have truly embraced it. 

In November 2015 I came out about my dad for the first time ever.  I came out to my youth pastor, and I don't know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for him.  

In January 2016 I told my mom about what my dad was doing to me.  She didn't completely believe me until she found out that he had done the same thing to my step sister, and that he had physically abused my little brother.  

This was also about the time when my nightmares started back up.  But this time, I was faced with a new challenge; flashbacks.  They differ in strength, but sometimes I can feel him... doing stuff to me.  It hurts a lot in every way, and some of them last an hour or two.

In February 2016... I cut myself.  I would do it twice more in July, and I did it once more last month.  I'm trying hard not to do it again though.

This past year I also discovered something else; I'm bisexual.  How did I figure this out?  I caught myself looking at way too many pairs of boobs, and thinking of doing some stuff with girls.  On Halloween last year though, I started dating a boy that I love very much.  He may be nine inches taller than me, and eighty pounds heavier, but he is my psychotic bad boy, and he treats me amazingly.

Currently, I'm working on getting a devotional finished for teenagers, and I am also trying to get closer to starting up a shelter for homeless youth (my life dream).  I'm also getting into the art business.  I've lost a lot of weight, and not meaning to brag or be selfish, but I look pretty good I think.  I've changed a lot because of all the things I've been through, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Why?  Because all of my struggles have made me who I am, and they've made me stronger.  I know God has a plan for my life, and I'm prepared for anything that plan might bring. 


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54 Reviews


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Thu Jun 15, 2017 6:24 am
postmalone says...



I don't even care if its past two am and I'm always emotional af but this IS THE KIND OF THING THAT NEEDS TO BE SHARED AND YOU NEED TO BE RECOGNIZED. YOU ARE A VICTIM OF ABUSE AND DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM AND DAMN RIGHT YOUR VOICE NEEDS TO BE HEARD

I am actually breaking down into tears because this is just...I don't know how..how you could endure all of this...Thank you, just thank you for posting this. Makes me once again realize how screwed up society is with these animals who abuse children and set bad examples.

I am so so proud of you for rising to God. For overcoming the struggles. For being brave and strong.

God bless you




KFdreams02 says...


Thank you so much. And if you ever need anything, please, don't be scared to message me. I'd love to help.



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Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:52 am
skylnn00writes wrote a review...



Hey! Sky here for a review.

So, I read through this, and wow. I'm pretty speechless right now. I hope this isn't a true story, although I feel like it is because of the way it was written. I definitely feel like you should write a book about this. I didn't go through these things but I bet that others who have would want to know that there are others out there going through what they are going through and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That being said, I'm going to go through this in order of the story.

The introduction is good. You start at the beginning, which is always the best place to start, and you give enough information. I liked it, and it really caught my attention. The title also made me click on it. I wanted to see what it was about and well, my expectations were met I will say.

As the story progresses, you mention God. Me not being the slightest bit religious anymore, will skip right over that part because I have no comments for it other than I'm glad He helped you.

Moving on, the end of the story was very emotional. The whole story was, don't get me wrong, but the end brought a smile to my face. You showed how life got better. There were the obvious conflicts, and there was the common running away from your problems part which I can actually relate to, but there is a happy ending. It isn't like a fairy tale though. Most people don't realize when they are in that position that the hope is there, and with some work, they can get through this.

I'm truly at a loss of words to express how I feel about this. All I can say is I loved it and good job.

Actual reviewing, maybe just read it over for some grammar mistakes. Also, I understand that it isn't fully formal or official even but you should spell out your number, so four instead of 4. Really, nothing else to say. I hope this was a little helpful, but please do not forget this work. It is inspiring and amazing. :smt001

~Sky




KFdreams02 says...


#skylnn00writes Yes, this is a true story, in fact, it's my own. Thank you for your tips and your review, and I hope that this story helped you or impacted you in some way :)





It didn't deeply impact me and affected me emotionally, in a good way. As in I could connect to the feelings, just not the experiences. That truly sucks that you went through that, but props to you for being where you are now.



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Sun Mar 26, 2017 1:03 am
CateRose17 wrote a review...



Your story has touched me in many ways. It's raw, honest and like ripped out of your journal or something. I too have experienced at least three quarters of these things, but definitely understand the trauma that can happen in one's life because of the brokenness that they keep hidden in their shame. Let me tell you something: YOU, yes you, are brave. Do you know why? Because you just posted your whole life for everyone to lay eyes on, it's like being on display, but in words and that takes guts, my friend. You are strong. You got through all of that and was able to voice what was happening to people you trusted. That requires strength and courage. Something I don't have... One last thing: You are beautiful. When I read that you found the Lord I literally clapped my hands for joy. I am so happy for you! You have found your identity in Christ and that is the best part. Yes, some major things happened to you, but they don't define you. God allows us to go through things that make us feel so broken that you can't really do anything, but in the end, His plan in sovereign. Your story, painful though it be, can be used overseas in a different country or in a city close to you to touch a teen, child, or even adult and show them that their is hope in a destitute life. You're a beacon of light and hope for a lot of people. I hope you know that. :)




KFdreams02 says...


Dear Lord, you guys are gonna make me cry from all of these nice things you're saying. Haha! I'm so happy that this helped you, and I hope that it helps many more people. Thank you so much!



KFdreams02 says...


#CateRose17 Also, you are just as strong as I am, just in different areas of your life. You'll make it through, and you'll make a difference. I know you will.



CateRose17 says...


You know, I feel like I have found a kindred spirit in you. You're very welcome :)



KFdreams02 says...


#CateRose17 Also, if you ever need to talk about anything, my message box is always open, and I will try to help the best I can.



CateRose17 says...


Thank you so much. And if you need ANYTHING, I've got your back :)



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Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:21 pm
Notrandomatall wrote a review...



Hey, first off I wanted to say that I'm happy you found the lord! I know how much it can suck to go through bad times, i've been through some that aren't quite the same as yours but still suck, and God has always led me through.
I love your story so much because of the feeling of hope that it gave me. Hope that things can and will get better. And that's something I need right now.
Writing wise I feel that your story is superb and personally, this might just be because my writing style could be seen as similar, I wouldn't change a thing.
Now, you may ask the question "Then why is she writing a review/comment?"
It's because this story truly touched me and I feel fortunate to have had a chance to read a story from another Christian who has gone through so much and is overcoming it (because it never really goes away, does it?) through God.
I'm sorry if this review seems unhelpful or far too blunt or if I mention myself too much or anything else. I just really wanted to say that your story impacted me in the best of ways!
So with nothing else to say, thank you!




KFdreams02 says...


#Notrandomatall Your review is actually the true reason why I posted this. I told my testimony at my summer camp, and so many people said that I had given them hope. Some of them even told me their story, some of which wanted to commit suicide, and now when I see them, they say I saved them. There is no better feeling than finding out you gave someone hope or even saved their lives. So instead, I think you deserve a thank you from me. It's people like you who keep me going, and keep me dreaming.




The brain is wider than the sky.
— Emily Dickenson