My Garden
I wander through this endless garden.
Giant, jolly, fuzzy bumble bees buzz by me.
Flowers flop happily as I push past them.
Sweet fragrance fills the air.
I smile, filling myself with the sweetness,
As it fills me it melts my worries away.
All I need to know is me,
And my garden.
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140,852 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
It was a good poem, but the imagery felt forced. I like the idea behind it, but it felt empty of emotion. It was interesting and unique, keep up the writing!
I think that you did an okay job on this poem. At some points it seems sort of childish and I feel this could be remided by using more advanced vocabulary.
When you are writing a poem you can play with the structure of your lines to change the rythm and make it more interesting. I would have rewritten the top sentences to look like this:Giant, jolly
bumble bees
Buzz
Past me
Just have fun with it. Hopefully you find my little review helpful. Fiction