My Dog and Me

It reminds me of this short story of a German Shepherd I wrote. Only, it wasn't happy because he died in the end and the narrator lost him, due to him getting hit by a car that was on the run ;o. Yeah... But she was happy with him, like this XD. It just reminded me of that, for some reason.

You're kind of telling a story in this poem. But it didn't so much as strike me as a poem, but a story, one with very little details ^^. It was like a brief runthrough of what happened in a chapter of a story. That's as good as I can explain it ;o
It's REALLY hard to make a story in a poem, though, so don't feel bad. It was a good try, I could picture it all, and also kind of felt the happiness from the "narrator", so that's a good start. I think there was some repitition, though, with "porch" or... I think it was "said" or "stare". Making a story-poem is a big challenge, and at first, you should just rough-draft it then try and find every error, or make multiple documents of it and then edit a few and keep versions. Then you can compare them. That's what I do with my songs, sometimes XD. Just a suggestion, though
I liked how it's a poem about your dog, though, it was sweet. What kind of dog, o.o?

I watch my dog from my porch,
She stalks slowly through the grass.
She stops and watches as I walk from porch.
She changes direction and is now stalking me, you use 'she' too many times tooclose together
I smile at the false seriousness in her eyes.
We both know it's all a game.

She gets close enough.
In an instant she's dashing at me.
I gasp and squeal in fake surprise.
She barks happily.
I run from her and dive onto the ground.

Her tongue is on my face,
Her paws at my chest.
She stops and nuzzles me.
She lays lies next to me and nibbles my ear.
I giggle and gently pet her head.
She stares at me with milky brown eyes,
I stare back, smiling.
I can tell she and I have a connection,
We love each other and both of us know it. find a more poetic way to say this

I sigh contentedly and continue to stroke her,
She happily nudges me and licks my ear. Redundant

Me and my dog,
My dog and me. cute ending

You should keep the same story line but spice up the words. Right now it just sounds like regular sentences.

Lovely poem! I love the ending! My only suggestion is to throw in a few more descriptive adjectives or words to spice it up. Other than that, very sweet!

Lovely poem! I love the ending! My only suggestion is to throw in a few more descriptive adjectives or words to spice it up. Other than that, very sweet!

This was a very nice poem indeed. You expressed your feelings in a way that lets anyone with a dog relate to you. I could relate, but more with my guinea pig... my dog doesnt like me very much!

This is cute
The end part kind of reminds me of that advert, "My cat loves whiskers, and I love my cat!"
And it's all put together really nicely, so it flows...
I like this. x

Aww, man, this hits my heart. I'm probably the biggest dog person ever, and I mean ever. I love dogs and dogs love me, and I mean really love me. Some of the meanest dogs in my town let me pet them. But that may jsut be my sense of command and control. But this also hits my heart because I used to have three dogs, all three of which I loved greatly, all three of which had been taken from me within the course of a year. First was my big black lab, Boomer, who had been my dog since I was born. He died of old age. Second was my dog. My one true dog. She even beat Boomer at getting to my heart, although I loved them both equally. She was a schnauzer and belonged to me and my dad. She moved in with me at my house and I watched her while my dad was in the hospital. Well, I let her out one morning and she never came back. My third was Maggie, my little chihuahua. She was loud and annoying, but loads of fun. I really started clinging to her after Suzie and Boomer had gone. I went to go work at camp last summer, and after a month, I came back, and she was gone as well. I miss all three of them very much.

Anyways, back to the review before I start bawling. I liked that sort of laid back, not a care in the world, youthful feel throughout the entire poem. It has basicly everything to do with nothing, if you know what I mean. It's a simplistic poem, which is my favorite type of poem, and it approaches a sweet, lovable subject that mostly everyone loves.

Hello there
Aww, this is really sweet. I had a dog once. She died a year ago but she was my best mate when she was alive.
Anyway, back to the review.
I liked how carefree and loving the mood of this poem was. Although the third stanza does not flow really well like the others, the mood like I mentioned takes my attention from any flaws in the poem.
Keep writing and good luck.

sweet to write about your dog!
just a few changes in beween paragaphs why don't you out me and my dog my dog and me then carry on with the poem it maybe more effective, also try add like a tad few ryming words don't make all of them ryhimg just a few so it has a folw to it.

Man, I wish I had a dog!

I really have nothing to say about this, other than it's beautiful! I really got the connection between you and your dog just by the actions that you included. I can tell your dog is very sweet and loving, and so are you! I liked it Very cute.

PinkViper