Lost
Walking down a road,
People watching me.
Wishing for my abode,
Needing to think clearly.
How did I get here?
My mother once said,
“You’ll find your place my dear.”
But all I want is my bed.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,852 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
It's not bad, I wish it could have been a little longer with a stronger emphasis towards detail, but the imagery was simple,but due to a lack of detail the concept wasn't.I would love to read some more of your work. 6.5/10
I liked this one. Although, there's still the same absolute vagueness from your last one.
Maybe you should work on your detail. So that you can tell the story of your poems better.
I like this poem, it's short but it's sweet.
It's need for sympathy is quite overwhelming, and the poem has the same effect of a cute puppy in a window. It's a great poem. I see no obvious mistakes with the grammer or language, however you may want to watch that simplicity doesn't turn into "unknowness." I like the fact that someone picked up on homelessness, it's a very ambigous poem.
I think this poem has potential for extension, but try not to dwell to much on the actual character, I feel that may be too cliche.
Good luck, you have great potential.
You have just been reviewed by Hayley!
This poem is okay but all I get is they are homeless and maybe their mother is dead but you need to tell us why they are homeless, it is okay to have some mystery but you've got so much here that you can't tell what is going on. The ending seems not like a ending like there should be more to the poem. Happy Writing!
Really good! Just a few things.
Overall, good poem!You have potential!
-----------------------------------
-jojo
So, is the narrator homeless. Is the mother dead? That's what I got from it. Am I right? That was really good:) You are talented:)