Young Writers Society

I bask in the fact you came forward and simply put, '' Tear it apart if you want. '' That shows a certain faith and dignity that is difficult to come by. I loved how at the end of every stanza, you put a question, usually the title's question. Poetry is a way of expression, and I think you expressed something here today that was straight forward, but had meaning. The only thing I would change, is the fact that is sounded more like you almost wanted to scream what you wrote, and not really using a poetic rhythm. Poetry is about being indirect, making your reader think for a moment, making your reader reread again the witty and wise words. But other than that, I really like what you have going for you here. I hope to see more work by you in the future!

Hey it's glad to meet someone who shares the same thought and I'm sure most of the others too think this but no ones cares to share it but you did. I think it has resemblance to Hitler. Did you read something about Hitler? Just asking any way I did think this poem could use more feelings. I felt like I was reading and article.It could use more emotions and I know you put down your emotions but you should actually make the reader feel something and it didn't. That's the only criticism I could find and everything else was good and please keep up the good work and think about what I said to you. Thank you for such a poem with one of the biggest social problems.

Hey it's glad to meet someone who shares the same thought and I'm sure most of the others too think this but no ones cares to share it but you did. I think it has resemblance to Hitler. Did you read something about Hitler? Just asking any way I did think this poem could use more feelings. I felt like I was reading and article.It could use more emotions and I know you put down your emotions but you should actually make the reader feel something and it didn't. That's the only criticism I could find and everything else was good and please keep up the good work and think about what I said to you. Thank you for such a poem with one of the biggest social problems.

HELLO peep! phangirl here to review your work

IDK why but reading this reminded me of Hitler... maybe that has to do with the fact that i'm reading the diary of a young girl but duh anyway... i'm here to review so i'll just get started...

AWESOME theme... i love reading anythig and everything relating to "human arrogance" as i like to put it. so yeah good job there.
i like the flow of your poem to *whispers* even if its a free verse poem...i like it!
and ofcourse the title of your poem...its just so catchy! so againg good job regarding that!

"but we are still humans right?" that line had such good impact! like i could feel the words somewhere deep... seriously man that line just hit the right spot!


there is only one thing i would like you to change...

"We have rights that no one can take away,

Or at least that’s what we said. (here change 'said' with say)

Today we live in a world of ignorance and hatred,

And with that hatred comes racism.

A word that rips people apart, divides families, and claims the lives of minorities."



overall i loved it!
well thats all...i know this was short and maybe not atall helpfull...but i really couldnt find anything to criticize in your work...

hoping for the best
PD46~