A new epoch had begun,
bringing with it, iridescent thoughts
and mellifluous music.
All feelings of solitude had been banished,
but were instead replaced with oblivion,
as it would seem as if she became
a sort of somnambulist.
Tiptoeing through the chambers of her mind,
discovering more and more ethereal feelings and events,
A serendipity had occurred,
the course had changed and the water was clearer,
and the feeling was ineffable.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,088 Literary Works • 672,997 Reviews
WOw I really enjoyed reading this poem. YOu used words I have never seen before, but I think that truly strengthens your poem.You are a very strong writer.I have read some of your other writings and I really enjoy all your works. Best of wishes and keep working hard!
Sorry for the late reply, I didn't see your comment before. Thank you so, so much!!
It made my day
WOw I really enjoyed reading this poem. YOu used words I have never seen before, but I think that truly strengthens your poem. I have read some of your other writings and I really enjoy all your works. Best of wishes and keep working hard!
Hello! Iamawriter here for a review!
I really loved this poem. I did have to look up some words in the dictionary, but your word choice and imagery are excellent. The connotations of these words fit the poem perfectly.
The only problems that I had were in line 5. In line 5 I feel that it isn't necessary to say "but were." Personally, I feel it would flow better if you just took them out.
I hope this was helpful.
Keep writing,
Iamawriter
Thank you very much!!
Hey! I'm just here for a quick review. First of all, I really enjoyed the poem. It really conveyed the message of being enamored by a boy even though some of the phrasing was kinda out of this world.
Which brings me to my first critique. Throughout the poem, you use very big, uncommonly used words- it kinda feels like you wanted to say "happy" but looked into a dictionary for a word that sounded more professional, like "serendipity'. Now that's sensible, but I have never in my life heard the word somnambulist. I couldn't really understand some of the lines because of this. I'd recommend downgrading the big words a bit.
Also, "ethereal" kind of sounds like something relating to angels or fairies, and doesn't seem to fit in the poem. Maybe try to pick a word that sounds more "in this world".
Thank you and keep writing!
Thanks