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The Saga of Uthdore 1.6: Sulryn

Sulryn

The Fort of Os had become a castle. The fief of Osfort had become a kingdom. The Baron Sulryn Rothestwar had become a King. As he paraded through the streets, the people of Osfort cried his name and blessed his passing. They worshiped Sulryn as the embodiment of Cerosust that he claimed to be. His words had lulled them into his subjugation. His promises of wealth and gold had bought their support of his “war” in Faymont. Sulryn walked as a King for his people, and for himself. As Sulryn passed through the gates of the mighty Fort of Os and closed himself off from the view of the masses of Osfort, his face changed. His features that had just radiated lovingly for its people and made those around him comfortable changed into that of a demon. His smile faded away and hatred crossed into his eyes. The party of followers that found themselves fortunate enough to have traveled with him noticed the changed as well, but they dared not say a word about it. They valued their lives.

“Your majesty.” A man said as Sulryn walked single-mindedly to his Throne of the Baron.

“What is it?” Sulryn asked, his voice a hissing snake during a hunt.

Sulryn did not turn his head to the voice, although he knew who had spoken. He waited, as Kings should, for the man to step before him and bow. A tall, formidable man clad in the official armor of the Knights of Os stepped before Sulryn and fell to his knees. No one in the Fort of Os thought these things unusual. They thought of Sulryn as King just as much as Sulryn himself did.

“Your majesty,” the Knight said. “I wish to speak with you.”

“Speak then, Knight.” Sulryn said, not minding the fact that he was speaking to his Court Knight and his personal servant: Burrak Hatorm.

“Perhaps, your majesty, you might give me the pleasure of speaking to you in the privacy of your study.” Burrak said.

“Whatever you need to say can be said in front of the Rothestwar family and those fortunate enough to be present in the Fort of Os.” Sulryn said, gesturing to the people strewn about the Throne room.

“Your majesty,” Burrak said. “Please.”

“Very well, Knight,” Sulryn said. “But I will not be away from my Throne for long.”

“Of course, your majesty.” The Knight said.

Sulryn rose to his feet whilst all in the Throne room fell to their knees. Sulryn stepped away from his Throne, the Knight followed. Once they had left the Throne room, Sulryn lead the Knight to his study without speaking a word. He threw open the doors to his quarters, allowed the Knight to enter, and quickly shut the doors. Sulryn reached into his pocket and removed a small vile that glowed faintly in the Baron’s hand. Sulryn opened the bottle and splashed its contents against the door.

“That was the last potion that Dentor left me,” Sulryn said. “It will keep prying ears from hearing us.”

“What was that show in the Throne room, Sulryn? I thought we were equals.” Burrak regarded Sulryn with suspicious eyes.

“You know that I cannot appear to have favorites in my position. The Rothestwar would be furious if they discovered that I was making plans in secret with a Knight.” Sulryn said.

“I see,” Burrak’s eyes narrowed, unconvinced. “Sulryn, The Gathering of Dragonfield is in seven months. What will you do when that worm Etmon comes prepared to have you arrested for treason and beheaded in from of the King?”

“Etmon has no proof of what I plan for Uthdore. Why worry about a small, frightened Almos when I should be concerned with the small, frightened Acktur boy.” Sulryn said.

“You should be concerned with your own lands, Sulryn. We discovered a spy in Os. He had been here under the guise of a servant. When we found him, we tortured him for information on his employer.” Burrak said.

“And what did you discover?” Sulryn asked.

“That Etmon had sent him and that there were others. One of them escaped from our borders and delivered information to Faymont. We have reason to believe that he used this information to try and stir the Nottingham against you.” Burrak said.

Sulryn let a harsh laugh escaped from his wicked lips.

“Harold would never make a move against me,” Sulryn said. “He and his primitive family would not leave Crystalford before the Gathering even if the End was upon them. We have nothing to fear from Etmon.”

“Your power has made you foolish.” Burrak said.

“Watch your tongue!” Sulryn yelled, the words coming from him before he could stop them.

Burrak grasped his sword and held himself as a Knight would before battle.

“Do not speak to me as if I am a power hungry Rothestwar or a lowly peasant! I gave you the power that you now flaunt as your own. I allowed you to seize control of Osfort after Asrod died. Even now, I could have you killed under the very nose of Fort Os.” Burrak said.

Sulryn’s angered peaked inside his body, but he did not show it to Burrak. He kept his composure and remained indifferent to the Knights powerful words.

“Oldver Taimar currently controls the most powerful fief in Uthdore. He commands thousands of troops and has the power to march his armies all across the world. Would you like that power or not?” Sulryn said.

Those words echoed suspiciously in Sulryn’s head. He had said them before to this Knight, but Burrak did not seem to notice.

“Just remember Sulryn: I am your equal and I will expect to be treated as such.” Burrak said.

“Of course, Baron Burrak Hatorm: Knight Superior of the School of Chivalry.” Sulryn said, bowing his head slightly to the Knight.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Messenger
Review

Messenger here to review for you again!

Oooooh! when I saw it was about Sulryn I was super excited, and when I saw it was a pretty good length I was exuberant. By the way that name is like a perfect evil villain name from Tolkien. So, onto the review.

“Your majesty,” Burrak said. “Please.”

“Very well, Knight,” Sulryn said. “But I will not be away from my Throne for long.”

I had to laugh at this. The king just said he wouldn't. Then just because the knight says please he agrees? Not very much like what I was expecting.

So another chapter that I feel like is gonna make people start losing interest. tHere is all this talk of all these problems, but I don't feel like things are happening. Also am I supposed to read 1.4 part 2 right after 1.4 part 1, or should I do them in order of the list on the right?


I was glad to have a chapter of Sulryn, but I feel that I really didn't learn anything about him. I hope to get back to Rangorn. Laving characters for too long can make them become distant to the reader. Watch out for that!

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Dreamy
Review
Dreamy wrote a review · Sat Jan 18, 2014 7:27 pm

Hey there,


I knew it wouldn't be fair to review a random chapter, so I went back and read all your previous chapter of this story. And I should say that the story line is very intriguing and was filled with magic, love, blackmail and importantly a rise of a battle.

To start of, let's begin with the title, well you have got good eyes for the titles . I think the part where you are making a mistake is on narrating all those small incidents and those samll incidents are the Sagas . So as to say, take the first chapter as an example, that part of the chapter doesn't really need any dialogues because it was Rangorn's introductory part. And he was alone in it. But you could have tried to narrate the situations even more deeply with very simple examples to keep your readers alert and intrigued. The first chapter was good compared to the others, I would say.

Going on to the second part. That's where I began to get bored, the scene was shared by three person and it was continuous dialogue exchange between them and it lacked narration. I'm not asking you too cut down the dialogues, you could have made it more narrative by explaining the feelings of the speaker in a more dramatic manner.


And sadly,I lost my patience in the next chapters, so I just hoped on to this. Because, this part had a pinch of what I wanted in 1st and the 2nd part. So this particular part was written well.

Good luck with your next parts. Hopefully I get to read them.

Keep writing!

Cheers!



If I were a girl in a book, this would all be so easy.
— Jo March