Depression weighs heavily,
Soaking the exam papers—
I’m already drowning in—
And the ink trails down my face,
The dark veins of my soul
Eyes droop wearily,
And I squint tiredly, at
The tiny words of unfathomable text,
That swim suddenly;
Beheld behind a veil
of treacherous tears.
I can’t take this anymore
Back groans despairingly,
Under the weight of duties,
Cares and responsibilities,
Always there, riding me;
A lathered horse near exhaustion.
Let me sleep, I no longer care.
Headache pounds
Away at my thoughts.
No peace for me,
Only pain.
I am a slave,
To my future,
As I labor away
Endlessly.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,482 Literary Works • 673,249 Reviews
Lol, sounds like me just before the SATs... ^_^
hehe Exams... aren't they fun?
I noticed that you used a lot of adverbs, especially here:
Eyes droop wearily,
And I squint tiredly, at
The tiny words of unfathomable text,
That swim suddenly;
Instead of adverbs, try to pick out images or actions that can replace them. Not that the adverbs are bad, but you seem to rely on them a lot.
It's a relatable poem. I don't know if you are going to revise it because you said it was an old poem, so nice work.
A lot of people can relate to this who are heading towards important exams. You conveyed some of the feelings well in this.
I liked this because it's easy to relate to--almost everyone has gone through something like this. Do you need those hyphens in the first stanza, though? I don't think I really like them.
Nice work.
Lol, this is an old poem y'all. I'm none too fond of it, but thanks again for commenting.
unfathomable
That right there sticks out Jiggy, least I think so. And I liked the beginning, cus I knew what you were talking about. The ending seems a little weak though.
-MH
test