Such A Beautiful Nightmare

First off, let me tell you, I love your poem! I think you've got something really great started here. Your words and imagery are great, and I love your term "beautiful nightmare." I do think your punctuation could be chosen more carefully, however. For example, you have several places where there are commas that completely break up the flow of your poem. The comma in the second line, fourth line, eleventh line, and thirteenth line all don't quite fit. I think you should separate these into different lines of the stanza rather than squishing them together with out-of-place commas. That way the poem would flow much more beautifully. Also, I would switch the words "knowing" and "now" on line nine. Other than that, this is a great poem! Thank you for sharing it with all us crazy people online!

Pandabear7 here to review. I really like this poem and I do see some imagery in it which is something I love! I like the title, which is also why I decided to read it. I wish I could think of great poems that ya'll do! You don't have any grammar mistakes either which is totes amazing. I hope you keep writing because you are great. Have a good day/night!!!

pandabear7

Hello,

I love the way your poem flows smoothly. {which mine seem to have a problem doing sometimes} You really capture the unfulfilled desire that many people get from there dreams. I like how you explain not just the dream but how the person feels after they wake up from the dream which really shows that it is a beautiful nightmare. Its a great poem and I really don't seen anything wrong with it over all. The way you punctuated it is nice and gets the point across and I like the way it tells the story of how this person feels from the emptiness to waking up to the thought that at least they have something. Anyway great poem!

That feeling, the distortion of your reality that leaves you breathless and in awe. It's a fond and bittersweet feeling. I like the words you used and the meaning in what you said as well. Though our memories or particular parts that we may yearn for differ I feel very close to what this poem is about.
There are some minor mistakes, again, simple spacing after punctuation. We're not all perfect, though, and you have the ability to revise and/or edit at your discretion. I think it could have continued, or perhaps it was just the right amount. I enjoy your works so far and hope to see many more.
P.S. I see a bit of change in style/format. It's always good to give different things a go, every once in a while. I like it.

Hey there Hightop here to review a second of your poems.

Your use of words and punctuation was good. Your feelings were Crystal clear, as was the subject. Major checkpoints .

One thing I had a problem with was the constant capitalization of 'beautiful nightmare'. I assume it was fir emphasis, but you repeated the words a lit so they kind of got jaded along the way.

Other than that, great poem. I know you're not a huge fan if punctuation, but it worked well in this poem. Keep it up.

Signing off
Hightop

Everyone don't forget to like my poems

I'd like more people to see them

Thank you all!

JC

I didn't get the title at first, but now I understand. The narrator doesn't want to wake up, because she/he had a good dream, but it was sad because they didn't get what they want in the real world, and she/he knew that the dream wasn't real, so it turned into a 'Beautiful Nightmare.'

Well thought and formatted, as well as thorough. This is what a poem looks like. This was a great poem and I hope that you write more in the future.

With All Do Respect
Whole Some Reader