Young Writers Society

This piece of poetry right here.

I immediately knew it was going to be relatable the moment I read the title. I constantly hear the words you never show me and love or I never know how you feel. In all honesty I am a lively person but showing emotions in a relationship is something I immediately struggle to do.

The moment I reached the end I thought what a perfect way to convey your views. Short but simple and certainly directly to the point.

My favourite part was " The emotional availability of my feelings is zero" as soon as I read those words I thought I could not have said it better!

A truly amazing piece of work

This is a gem right here. I love it. Your words are hilarious and I can relate to this so bad. I have to admit I've never drank coffee of any kind before. But I do love cuss words (is that so bad?). And I also have zero emotions half the time, the other half being constantly conflicted with them. I do care about a lot of stuff and people but then again I don't give a crap about others. It's like I wrote this myself! We have a lot in common in just these twenty-six words. There isn't any reason to discuss any errors or meanings of this cute, simple, painful in a hilarious way poem. Thank you for posting this! I really loved reading

The ideas here are to vague to draw any real meaning from. A good start though.

I also struggle with empathy, and here I empathize at the lack of empathy emphatically.
When I read this, I thought, "Exactly!
This person understands me."
With this poem, there's no need for rhyming
though that's what I'm doing.

The point I'm trying to make is this is well written.
Grammar mistakes... a little minor, nothing worth sniffin'.
That is to say, there is no punctuation,
but again, that's a minor problem.

My favorite line, "I care / But I / don't."
though it broke my rhyme structure to say that,
it is still my favorite
'cause it's exactly how I'd say, "it."

(to himself)
"No Joel, not 'it' but what she said."
"Right, sorry Michael (my middle name)"
"Yeah, you better be."

Verses run 'on' black coffee
what about run 'like' black coffee
or saying that you are black coffee?
a fluid stimulant that doesn't care
what the drinker thinks of it. It's inanimate
like your emotions are to the reader.

Just some thoughts I had. Enjoy the day!

I really love this! I can seriously relate, cause I can't feel anything right now, more specifically my legs, but nevermind that, it doesn't really matter how I feel at this particular moment. Anyway, I think that you did wonderfully, I didn't see any grammar or punctuation mistakes! I even thought that you wrote from the heart, I don't know, but it seems like it! And by the way, I think you make amazing poems! They are really amazing! I should probably use a different word other than amazing, I don't know, it's spectacular! I think you should keep writing, keep up the spectacular work!

*walks away from the computer, searching the entire house*

WHERE ARE YOU!?

*No response answers*

*walks back to computer*

She's not here, she left...

Well, this is a little bit relatable, although I fail to see why this a romantic poem. Satire, ok, but romantic?

Jessica Jones theme song starts playing in the background..anyways, this is just amazing. I clicked on this because the name sounded nice and man, oh man. This is just freaking amazing. I love this. This is so sad and lonely but at the same time kinda happy and just a little disturbed ( a bit), which makes it even better. I love the way it is written - really original and unique. Rhyming doesn't matter here - it is just all about the emotion. Which it has. Just pure, raw, emotion - realistic and painful. A person who tries to push everyone away - feels very true, like coming from the deepest parts of one's soul. You can already imagine the character this is, someone like Jessica Jones, Darla or Faith Lehane, a person who pushes everyone away, an anti-hero in a leather jacket all cynical and sarcastic and rebellious and world-hating. I have a soft spot for these kinda characters so it's kinda obvious I would love this person...who-ever she (or he) is. I think I would like to meet her (or him). I also love the moment half-way through the poem when you think that the person actually has a soft spot, somewhere inside and then...nah, just a trick. Still don't care, just go away. I think it is nice, the way you did that - the small surprise at the end.

Anyways - just great. You really have a talent for this. Really nicely written, original structure, no rhyming (which makes it even cooler in my book).

Why is this so relate-able?

Kat here to write a review for you! I have to say there is little about your poem that I didn't like. The simplicity and lack of punctuation both add to the overall impact f this piece. I do wish there was a little something more in parts but then I think it would be an entirely different type of poem. I appreciate how the lines got shorter and shorter as the piece progressed but i wish it was a little more uniform to give it a greater effect.

Overall, great idea and good execution! I hope you continue to write more. Sorry if that wasn't much help.

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started. :Availability

Yessss new poem.

*Grim looks over.*

New poem of Izzy's?

yES.

Okay then.

So, to start of this review the first thing I noticed is that a few places are missing commas. Those lines would "I'm crazy", "The emotional", "Availibility", (also, you spelled this word wrong. It should look like this Availability.), "Of my feelings" and "I care". Otherwise, the poem was GREAT. And if you did not mean to put in commas and such, put in an Authors Note so people know that.

Well, the meaning is rather up front, not beating around the bush, no?

Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Thanks- WAIT, MERRY CHRISTMAS, I CAN SAY THAT NOW! OR HAPPY HANUKA! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

@Flumadiddle
@woahhitherepal
@DemonGoddess

Okay, literally me.
XD

Seriously I relate to this on every level, I'm not sure if this is really a review or just a comment.
I mean, this could've been longer, I don't have much content here to review, but I really like this. I like the way you phrased this, and the description of your emotions was done very well, I know exactly what you mean by what you wrote. Like I said it was very short, but the content that is there I liked <3

Okay, literally me.
XD

Seriously I relate to this on every level, I'm not sure if this is really a review or just a comment.
I mean, this could've been longer, I don't have much content here to review, but I really like this. I like the way you phrased this, and the description of your emotions was done very well, I know exactly what you mean by what you wrote. Like I said it was very short, but the content that is there I liked <3

Okay, literally me.
XD

Seriously I relate to this on every level, I'm not sure if this is really a review or just a comment.
I mean, this could've been longer, I don't have much content here to review, but I really like this. I like the way you phrased this, and the description of your emotions was done very well, I know exactly what you mean by what you wrote. Like I said it was very short, but the content that is there I liked <3

Okay, literally me.
XD

Seriously I relate to this on every level, I'm not sure if this is really a review or just a comment.
I mean, this could've been longer, I don't have much content here to review, but I really like this. I like the way you phrased this, and the description of your emotions was done very well, I know exactly what you mean by what you wrote. Like I said it was very short, but the content that is there I liked <3