Left, right, left, right,
The ground is stained with red,
Left, right, left, right,
The poppies are long dead.
Left, right, left, right,
The golden sun has gone,
Left, right, left, right,
And the fighting carries on.
Left, right, left, right,
We march in single file,
Left, right, left, right,
They're shooting all the while.
Left, right, left, right,
Beneath the darkened skies,
Left, right, left, right,
I can hear the soldiers' cries.
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139,506 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
This is just seriously amazing. I love your works xD *high fives*
Awh thanks
Hey Inkpot, Subtle here for a review.
here, to me that sounds like the march of the soldiers as in the rhythm in the words. Just like the sound of boots marching. It sounds like a chant, an angry and powerful chant but at the same time with that poetic feel.There's not much to say, except I love the format and the language in this poem. As well as the content, it has a very realistic and melancholy feel to it and at the same time, powerful and strong.
I love the repetition of
Also, I love the rhyme pattern, you have managed the rhyme the second and fourth line beautifully. None of them seems forced at it and instead, contributes to the overall meaning and rhythm. I also agree with @fictional, there is no need for the 'can' in the last line.
Works just fine, and it also flows better.
I love your poems, keep up the good work!
-S.s
Thanks
I love this. It sounds like a march in itself (which I bet was your intention), and it conveys a melancholy hopelessness, like you just have to keep going even in the horror of it all...and in a very simple, straightforward way. Lovely.
My only suggestion: personally I think the last line does not need the word "can" - it drags down the sentence. If that makes sense.
Anyway, thanks for writing!
Thanks
I love the way you word things- "melancholy hopelessness" even I could not have described the kind of mood I wanted to create better than that! I totally understand about the last line- your suggestion makes a lot of sense 
This is quite impressive! I really love the "left, right, left, right," repetition it has. It makes the poem a great read. For some reason I can imagine this being a punk rock song, I dunno why, it just has that feel to it. The political feel it has to it only adds to the punk-rock feel it has. The flow and rhyming is very good as well. The only thing I could suggest is adding a final verse, something that would really pack a punch. The ending, though good, is rather abrupt, and I feel adding something more would make this poem all the more great.
That's all I can say, awesome work!
~Cirute
Thanks for the comments
That thing about the punk-rock made me laugh! But I do see where you're coming from.