If I rule the world...

Hello there IlhamAlKhatib! I, Murtle, usually known as Kyllorac, will be reviewing you today, on this very fine Review Day.

With that said, onto the review!

Shoaib brought up a really good point with the ellipses. They really make this piece feel very amateurish, which is not an impression you really want to give. Something you should get into the habit of doing is editing your writing before you post it. Everyone who writes professionally does it, since it cuts down on the number of errors and other amateurish things that not editing leads to. It's not uncommon for professional writers (or writers in general) to go through multiple drafts before getting the final, polished piece that sees the light of publication. I've heard somewhere that all pieces should go through at least three drafts before they're ready, and you might as well get into the habit now rather than later.

With that said, this piece strikes me more as an informal blog post rather than an essay or other more substantial nonfiction piece. It talks more about what you would do, and it doesn't really give any strong arguments as to why you feel those are the right things to do, or even details on how you'd do them. Not to say there's anything wrong with informal, blog-like posts. It's just that YWS does have its own section for posting blogs, and unlike the Literary area, posting in the Weblog section doesn't cost any points. All members automatically get a blog when they join, and I feel this piece would be better suited to a blog rather than the Lit section. Posting pieces like this in your blog will definitely be cheaper, at least.

You might also want to read up on some internet safety. Basically, putting your full name out there makes you very easy to find, which is fine if you want to be found, but you do need to keep in mind that not everyone on the internet is friendly or good, and so it's a good idea to take some precautions so that you're only found by the people you want finding you.

My dream is to rule the world for one day, a week… or a period of time… Not because I want to be famous or want to be rich… and not because I want to do bad the ones who did me wrong… not because of any reason but just that I want to try a new order, a new time, new rules…
If I rule the world, then first thing, I would do is put things in the right place, right time, right requirements with right leaders !!
If I get this place, I would ask all people and authorities to bring their money in a square and burn them all… The new world would not be money-based…
The thing that all people require to continue, live and survive is their qualities, love and passion for their work…
Study of all levels would be free, so all individuals would have the same opportunity to achieve their dreams… All restaurants’ food would be free so there would be no 1-5 star-rated ones, and so no one will fear having hunger… Good engineers will have their positions so the right engines, right houses and right all architectures would be established… Only good doctors would be in hospitals so patients would not be afraid of their health… People who have been born talented would have their chance to show, so all talents would appear… All good leaders who love to achieve great goals so all would benefit… Patients of cancer would be treated without any fear of the things they cannot afford… Money would not be a need, so there would be no bad that would infect others with viruses, diseases and so on… Peace would be reached, so all would be treated as their goodness… People would be judged based on the things they would have done not on the things the God has given to them; like color, height… etc.
People who love music would play, so all music from the heart would be heard… The flowers would be evaluated so love would have its reality, role and smell… Producers who have passion would produce, so music videos and films would have a meaning that they stand for…
All lovers would marry without any problem and no one would be able to destroy love… All things would be lasting forever… So all the goodness we would live until we come to the end of our lives…
Job would be about their skills and abilities, So all would benefit… !!

My dream is to rule the world for one day, a week… or a period of time… Not because I want to be famous or want to be rich… and not because I want to do bad the ones who did me wrong… not because of any reason but just that I want to try a new order, a new time, new rules…
If I rule the world, then first thing, I would do is put things in the right place, right time, right requirements with right leaders !!
If I get this place, I would ask all people and authorities to bring their money in a square and burn them all… The new world would not be money-based…
The thing that all people require to continue, live and survive is their qualities, love and passion for their work…
Study of all levels would be free, so all individuals would have the same opportunity to achieve their dreams… All restaurants’ food would be free so there would be no 1-5 star-rated ones, and so no one will fear having hunger… Good engineers will have their positions so the right engines, right houses and right all architectures would be established… Only good doctors would be in hospitals so patients would not be afraid of their health… People who have been born talented would have their chance to show, so all talents would appear… All good leaders who love to achieve great goals so all would benefit… Patients of cancer would be treated without any fear of the things they cannot afford… Money would not be a need, so there would be no bad that would infect others with viruses, diseases and so on… Peace would be reached, so all would be treated as their goodness… People would be judged based on the things they would have done not on the things the God has given to them; like color, height… etc.
People who love music would play, so all music from the heart would be heard… The flowers would be evaluated so love would have its reality, role and smell… Producers who have passion would produce, so music videos and films would have a meaning that they stand for…
All lovers would marry without any problem and no one would be able to destroy love… All things would be lasting forever… So all the goodness we would live until we come to the end of our lives…
Job would be about their skills and abilities, So all would benefit… !!

Salaam Ilham!

Before I review this I'll point out that the "..."'s you've used at the end of the sentences aren't necessary, I hope you get what I'm saying. Time to be a little "professional" now that you're in the biz

" The new world would not be money-based"