Hey Alk!
I agree with the other reviewer- if you space this differently, it would make for an easier read. As for the rest of your review, I'm going to do a line-by-line critique.
~ The 'please' doesn't need to be capitalized, and you don't need the comma where you placed it. You could rephrase it to read: "People of the world, please read this until the end."People, from all over the world Please read until it ends
~ This is repetitive, try "Open your eyes wide..." instead.Open your eyes open wide
~ the Syrian Revolution.All of us know about theSyrian Revolution
~ The 'h' should be capitalized- it's a new sentence.hundreds of people die every day
~ This is a bit awkward, maybe try "You may ask why." Or "Why, do you ask?" I don't know if this is a statement or a question, it's hard to tell.You may ask why ?
~ Question mark, not period.Why do they have to feel like they are useless?
~ "They torture them in a way that makes you want to throw..."They torture them badly in a_waythat makesyou wanna throw
~ "Why not humans" would flow smoother.howcome humans
~ 'Syrian'-capitalize, 'but'- don't capitalize, 'Argument'- no 'e'.syrian, But nations don't mean any arguement
~~~
Alright, so it's a really sweet, powerful message that you have here.
It's awesome that you're taking up for the people of Syria who are fighting against the dictatorship they're under!
Hope this helps...
~Shady
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Reviews: 935
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