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Young Writers Society


by Ignorance

Every day is a new quest, a new journey. I wake up, and my brain travels the world and beyond, a multiversal traveler. I open a new, blank canvas, and pour everything out, the colors and lighting only representing a fraction of how I truly feel. My brain scatters again, and I write, words flowing endlessly. The paragraphs trickle onwards for simultaneously forever and not long enough. And soon, I am forced back into the crowds, where I don’t belong. Where I feel like everybody’s laughing at me, even if they aren’t, and everyone and everything is so, so disruptive, so ungrateful. And people wonder why I prefer to be alone. I can take a step back from the crowd, take a breath, and escape. Escape to a world all my own, filled with deep characters and complex fantasies. Escape to a world where I can be free, free from the responsibilities, where how I truly feel flows on and on forever.

The artistic flow

Of a watcher, a dreamer

Pours forevermore.

-With apologies to Kat Lehmann

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Points: 325
Reviews: 1

Sat Jan 28, 2023 7:34 pm
Saturday wrote a review...

hello, I'm new to reviewing, but hopefully I can help you out!

imagery - this is chock-full! every sense is covered, but it all goes well together. I can imagine what things sound like, what they look like, how they feel. the word choice is very stimulating! it's formal and "pompous" while also being descriptive.
originality - I don't think about theme a lot, but it's interesting in this poem. while I see a lot of poetry written about subjects like this, I don't think it holds the same vision. this is a newer slate! it's less metaphorical, more literal. you credited a poet for giving you ideas, but I wouldn't have even guessed at first glance.
symbolism - there must be some deeper meaning here. I can interpret this in many ways, and all of them feel correct. my first impressions changed when I reread. the main idea I'm going with is the overthinking writer trope.

title - creativity is diverse. it can be manifested through things that aren't stereotypically deemed creative. there's a lot of wiggle room. the content of this poem is straight to the point. your writing style is ornate, while a one-word title isn't so. something more specific would complement the voice present here.
flow - I enjoy the descriptive factor here, but it can be hard to keep track of what's happening. the abundance of commas makes the poem feel like it's never going to end. I'm a huge supporter of nonconformity in poetry, but I feel like something else could better suit this. in some situations, less is better than more.

favorite line:
"Escape to a world all my own, filled with deep characters and complex fantasies."

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22 Reviews

Points: 442
Reviews: 22

Sat Jan 28, 2023 9:22 am
yamatri wrote a review...

hi, I am here for the review!

I have never written a haiku personally, so A haiku is a short, unrhymed poem that adheres to a specific three-line, seventeen-syllable format.
-five syllables in the first and third lines, and seven syllables in the second line. = which you have executed very nicely
-Traditionally, haiku are about nature =but you can write it about anything cause it's your god damn wish.
-Beyond the syllable structure, there are a few more rules to writing a traditional haiku. One is that the lines cannot rhyme. = flow and more are kind of rhymes of each other, dreamer and forever are also creating the rhyme effect, but I like it, the rhymes are not complete, and rhyming gives the poem a neat sense and people have always played with the format of haiku for creativity so that is nice of you to do that

I couldn't find the poem by kat Lehmann so I could not compare it to that.

the beginning paragraph is wow, I love it,

(I write, words flowing endlessly. The paragraphs trickle onwards for simultaneously forever and not long enough)

this line is my favorite, you write well especially for your age. you are going to be a good writer I can see it, so keep on writing hope to read more from you :-)

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