The Death of Bieber

This. Was. Amazing. I loved it. I laughed the whole time I read it *hits like a thousand times*


It's disturbing yet funny and sooooo awesome. I'd love to do this to Justin Bieber, but you might not want to eat him considering all the drugs he does.


I like the alpaca part it was original and funny and suuper random, but good. I didn't find any grammar or punctuation problems. Which is good, I liked it a lot and it was hilarious.


I love your writings to. Not just this one, your really good at writing, especially about killing justin Bieber, *slowly claps* good job ~The Written Girl

Uh....i really don't have anything to say about this. It is sorta disturbing. But I laughed the whole way through reading this poem. Which i think is even more disturbing. But keep writing!!! P.S. I hate Justin Bieber too.

Well.... Although I'm into horror and sci-fi & all that freaky stuff, and although I understand that this poem was written from a satirical view... It is sort of disturbing.

There are some places where the flow is not consistent and the rhyming scheme is kind of weak.
But on the whole I do think it's pretty okay.

I can sort of picture you becoming a horror/sci-fi poet when you're older so look at all the comments with positivity as they can help mature your writing.

I'm gonna follow you now 'cause I see so much untapped potential and I hope you maybe review my work too and help me grow as a "poetess". Lol.

P.S. I don't like Justin Bieber either

Okay, so, the second poem which I totally DID NOT forget to review yesterday! oo" (Actually no seriously, I didn't forget, I just got kicked off of the computer before I could get to it.)

ANYWAYS. Review.

First of all, I'll just say here and now that I'm not good at reviewing for-fun poems, but I'll do my best. First of all, I'm actually [kind of ashamed] to say that I laughed at parts of this. It was funny, I'll give you that, and one of the only times that I really like rhyme-schemes are in silly, for-the-heck-of-it poems. Actually, I don't think that they'd be the same without them.

So in other words - as a whole story, this poem was... cute in its own sick sort of a way. And funnier in an even sicker sort of way.

But, I'm just going to say something really quickly here, because I need to get a [mini]rant off my chest. >.<

I know that he has awful music and that he's annoying, but Bieber is still a human being. xD I mean, the poor kid has so many people hating him, and probably enough of these stories and/or poems floating around as it is. Would I like to see him eaten by llamas? Not particularly... maybe his vocal chords could get ripped out by llamas, but... having them eat him would be a little extreme. xD

.... Which is why I'm sad to say that I laughed. BUT. That was the point of the poem, and overall - point achieved.

Thank you for the request. xD

Keep writing,
~~Ish.

Okay, this poem started off brilliantly then starts to get a little disconnected towards the end. Mainly because of the fourth stanza I think.

HostofHorus wrote:
The scariest thing I’ve ever done,
is looked at Justin Bieber.
His face and voice and girlyness,
initiate a fever.
Loved this stanza

His dance moves suck, his hair is gross,
and alpacas want to eat him. A bit sudden and strange, but hey, I like it.
This (I'd use 'That' instead of 'This' over here) is why I’ve hired one,
to eat that brain that's dim. I think the 'that' in the sentence seemed a bit out of place. What about 'the' or 'his?'

He dresses cross, (don't need a comma here and I do agree with shiney1 with the part about 'dresses cross') and sings so shrill,
I swear that I might just die.
Before he dies, my alpaca’s sworn,
to adorn him in a pie.

He’ll lick it up with the entrails,
then spit it out... it’s gross!
He shifts through parts and finds the best,
he sucks on painted toes.
Okay, like I said before, this part seems a bit disconnected. Maybe you should explain it more. Like the part where it said, 'like it up'. What did he (the alpaca) lick up? His brain? Hair? Hand?

They make a great white pop-sic-ul,
the blood melts down his arm. As crazy and disturbing this might be, I love the imagery here.
He laughs with joy and leaves the pieces,
as he returns to his farm.

this was hilarious! I liked it. Funny satire.

The scariest thing I’ve ever done,
is look at Justin Bieber.
His face and voice and girlishness, Previous word was not a real word
initiate a fever.

His dance moves suck, his hair is gross,
and alpacas want to eat him. Better understood after explaining, maybe you should edit your entry so people see this first before posting
This is why I’ve hired one,
to eat that brain that's dim. This line sounds stressed. It goes from more elaborate to using a small word snapped at the end to continue the rhyme scheme. In other words, this ending disrupts the poem's flow.

He dresses cross, and sings so shrill, Don't you mean cross-dresses? What are you trying to say?
I swear that I might just die. Again, we jump from cross-dressing to YOU dying, and back to alpacas and Justin dying. This part is just all over the place
Before he dies my alpaca’s sworn,
to adorn him in a pie. Maybe you should speak about this pie one more time so this part does not seem so random

He’ll lick it up with the entrails,
then spit it out... it’s gross!
He sifts through parts and finds the best,
he sucks on painted toes. This is where it started getting disturbing, but that's not the thing that matters really

They make a great white Popsicle,
the blood melts down his arm. You mean runs or drips? Blood doesn't melt down someone's arm...
He laughs with joy and leaves the pieces,
as he returns to his farm.

Haha alright, I guess I should explain a bit. This was pretty much fully satire. We were given a prompt in english that was "The scariest thing I've ever done...." I had just had a long conversation with my friend on Bieber as I tried to tell her how stupid he was.... Yeah... Right.... Anyway, the day before we had, had a strange encounter with an alpaca, so yeah, it just kind of worked it's way in. Beyond that, where does it sound like I had a hard time? Only the second stanza was a challenge, and I don't quite see what doesn't make sense.... Maybe try elaborating instead of just saying crap that is un-constructive. Also, maybe try to recognize when satire is used and when it's not? Don't just make a post to bash, and insult me, then hardly say anything about the writing. That isn't what this site is for, and yeah... So just please don't attack someone, especially when it is satire, or in today's terms, sarcasm.

I agree with housecat.
This poem gives me the creeps. I am not much for him myself, but this is, very disturbing.
Plus in sometimes it sounds like you are struggling to make rhymes, and some things don't make sense at all.

Although I'm not a fan of Justin, I have to admit, this is pretty strange and somewhat demented. But mostly strange. I highly recommend that you get some counselling.