Monkey vs. Dragon: Terminator Four?

It was a dark time for YWS...

Actually, it was quite bright, if you consider the fires. The forums were ablaze as Dragons flamed the Monkeys.

Grif ducked as flames shot over head and a dragon went for a monkey. He wasn't quite sure how things got out of hand, but one thing was sure: he wasn't going to make his six thirty appointment.

The dragon came back to get Grif. Suddenly, a gigantic beam came from the sky, zapping the dragon. The dragons might have gigantic flame throwers, but the Monkeys controlled space.

"Grif!" Hunter yelled.

"Hunter? How the heck did you turn into a monkey?"

"I didn't, I just haven't shaved in a while."

"Oh."

"You can't stay here Grif, it's just too hot. LOOK OUT!" Hunter said, tossing Grif to the ground. Grif screamed as he hit the ground, expecting to be burned alive instantly.

When nothing happened, he looked back at Hunter. Hunter began laughing.

"That's not funny!"

"You should have seen the look on your face! I'm going to treasure that look forever," Hunter hooted.

"Look behind you, there's a dragon!" Grif yelled.

"Oh you don't expect me to fall for that trick do you?" Hunter said with a grin. Grif looked at him in pure terror.

"There's really a dragon behind me isn't there?" Hunter said, still smiling. Grif said nothing, but ducked into the nearest trench. Hunter turned around to see Crysi.

"Oh darn it."

"Hello Hunter," Crysi said.

"It's about time. I've been looking forward to this fight for a long time," Hunter said, peeling a banana.

"Me too," Crysi said, shooting flames out of her nose.

"Three rounds," Hunter said.

"Deal," Crysi responded. Grif peeked over the trench. The dragon and the monkey were face to face.

"ROCK! PAPER! SCISSORS!" they both yelled.

"Expletive!" Hunter yelled.

"ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!"

"Curses!" Crysi said. Grif covered his eyes.

"ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!"

Grif peeked through his hands. Both Hunter and Crysi had picked Paper.

"A draw," Hunter said.

"Didn't see that coming," Crysi muttered.

"Then we shall have to settle this fight the only honorable way," Hunter said.

"A battle to the death?" Grif asked.

"No, were going to battle rap," Crysi said.

"We'll need a judge," Hunter said.

"Good luck with that, I'll just be leaving- WAH!" Crysi picked up Grif with her talons and set him down in front of them.

"Want to go first monkey brain?"

"Sure," Hunter said composing himself.

"Monkeys kick your burning butts, like sandpaper on Kleenex, we'll gyrate over your corpse in victory," Hunter rapped. Crysi appeared intimidated, while Grif just looked confused.

I yearn to go my way, like a burning marshmellow, you will be churning in my stomach, giving me indigestion, Crysi rapped back. They both looked at Grif expectantly.

"Sorry, I don't like either of them."

"Then we have no choice. We'll determine who's better by seeing who can kill Grif first," Hunter said.

"Yeah, WHAT!" Grif said.

"Sounds good to me," Crysi responded.

Grif closed his eyes and waited for instant death. Crysi let out with a large flamethrower, while from space a death ray went down towards Grif.

A second later, Grif was still alive. Next to him in red, white, and blue tights was...

"PAT BUCHANAN!"

Crysi was flaming at the mouth and Hunter was going Bananas.

"Impossible!" Crysi said.

"Impractical!" Hunter said.

"Unlikely?" Grif asked.

"Yes, I have come to end this once and for all," Pat Buchanan said.

"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that?" Hunter and Crysi challenged.

"With me are all 15,000 of my speeches. Unless you stop this, I'll read them all and bore you to death," Pat Buchanan said.

"You wouldn't dare!" Crysi said.

"My fellow Americans..."

"AAAAHHHHHH! WE GIVE UP!" Crysi and Hunter writhed in agony on the ground.

"My hero!" Grif said.

"I must be off, or I'll be late to the convention," Pat Buchanan said. He looked up into the sky and said,

"PATRUS MAXIMUS!!!!!" before flying off.