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139,521 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
Timmyjake here to write you as long as a review as your story!!
You might want to look into that.
And that was your review!! Well, actually, I think something happened to it as it isn't showing up.
Happy writing!
~Timmyjake
not a review.
Something has happened to your story, I mean.
My, my, my. You've written a lovely piece here.
I have nothing to nitpick or change; this is beautifully written. During the 'flashback,' if you will, you captured that essence of innocence and youth perfectly. I do think, however, in the last paragraph or two, that your character should sound a bit more mature. Most girls of that age refer to their fathers as "dad," not "daddy." The only time I see older girls refer to them as 'daddy,' is when they're immature, or spoiled.
That's it, though! Great job on this piece.
I would love to read more of your work.