She don’t want a lot for Christmas.
There is just one thing She needs.
She don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
She just wants you for Her own;
More than you could ever know.
Make Her wish come true!
All She wants for Christmas
Is
You.
…
No, no, no!
Why are you
Shaking and crying
And getting your tears all over the floor of our sacrificial shrine?
That’s really not polite, y’know;
We just got them remodeled,
And they were expensive!
Can you just make this easy
And stop struggling?
Do you not understand
How important this is?
Our goddess Mariah Carey has thawed once again,
And she is feeling particularly hungry.
We must appease her!
If we don’t? Well…
Let’s just say
That things won’t be so holly-jolly for mankind.
Yes, that’s right;
The whole human race is depending on you!
How could you be so selfish
As to try to escape?
And how ignorant you are, too!
Do you know how many people
Would be honored to take your place?
Do you know how many people
Desperately wish to die a hero?
Huh? What’s that you say?
“Why can’t you just take those people instead of me?”
Were you not paying any attention?
All She wants for Christmas is
You.
Not any of those other people;
You.
Look, it ain’t our fault;
She picked you.
Not us.
We’re just the ones who carry out Her demands.
Alright?
You know,
You’d really make this easier on everyone if you—
Ow!
Stop all that punching and kicking!
Wait, do you see that light up there?
She’s coming!
Quick, bow down!
Yes, that means you;
Do it unless you want to be smited!
Now is not the time to correct my grammar!
Oh great goddess Mariah Carey
We are eternally grateful for you,
For you have shown us the truth of this world
And have never steered us wrong!
Please accept this sacrifice as a sign of our devotion to you!
Okokok so… I’ve talked about this poem a bit before, and people really wanted to see it so… here it is. I’m not the best at poetry and this obviously wasn’t meant to be serious or good at all, but you can still leave reviews on it I guess. Also, here’s the story behind this: I was thinking about how different “All I Want for Christmas Is You” would sound if it was in 3rd person, and I made this.
Still laughing about this one. It's almost time for Mariah Carey's seasonal return! xD
This poem is very funny and almost every line made me laugh! My favorite line is "Stop all that punching and kicking!" The wording is awesome and this poem is easy to read!
This was hilarious! As someone who loves Mariah Carey's songs, I thought this was a great poem. The amount of time put into this is very well thought out and interesting! 
Title: She Don’t Want a Lot for Christmas
We love a good Mariah Carey parody/satire/mashup.
Commentaries/Interpretations:
"And getting your tears all over the floor of our sacrificial shrine?" - I don't know why, but this line broke my seriousness reading this poem. I love the dedication that this poem and whoever's perspective we're reading this in is willing to stretch and go to for Mariah Carey.
"Our goddess Mariah Carey has thawed once again, And she is feeling particularly hungry." - I like what you did here with 'thawed" and "hungry" since the wording is pretty clever to reference winter, Christmas, and how Santa Claus usually needs to become fat in the fairy tales we were told as a child before Christmas Day/Eve came to deliver the toys as well as to get the 'hohohos' deep within him.
"We’re just the ones who carry out Her demands." - Yes, capitalize the h in her to signify the importance of who she is and we are merely her peasants serving her.
"Please accept this sacrifice as a sign of our devotion to you!" - You're sacrificing a human being for the goddess that is Mariah Carey so she can ease her hunger in order for her to be satisfied since we deeply love and treasure the iconic singer of Christmas? Heck, yes!
Overall:
I thoroughly enjoyed this. It made me laugh and gasp. It made me grin and be amazed. It made me giddy with joy and put me in a goofy/silly mood. Kudos to you for writing this.
This poem holds so much meaning. I can feel the power oozing from the words. I now understand life and its purpose. The wisdom and grace of Mariah Carey has shown upon me. All hail the Christmas Queen. Seriously though, this poem was hilarious! I enjoyed reading it. I wanted to write a “horror” story about the defrostation of Mariah Carey, but never got to it. Maybe I will next Christmas, who knows?
I wish you a great day/night.
The first section of your poem, the a parody of the song "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey, is humorous and clever in its use of language despite only changing from first person to third person. The second section, which shifts to a darker tone, maintains the humor but introduces a sacrificial ritual and a demand to appease the goddess Mariah Carey. The poem's use of humor is effective in poking fun at the over-commercialization of Christmas and the obsessive fan culture that often surrounds popular celebrities. Overall, the poem showcases the power of satire and parody in subverting and critiquing popular culture.
I feel like it could have benefited from a rhyme scheme to make it sound more song like.
Can say this honestly made me laugh. Great parody -> would love a bit more rhyme for flow in body of poem but funny all the way through.
I love this xD The changed interpretation of "All I want for Christmas is you" is really clever - each repetition made me laugh.
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