at night, heaven’s gates come crashing down
and hell’s firey flood roars in.
thousands of screams echo in my skull,
playing on loop ever since last time.
.
it’s deafening, yet somehow I know they’re pleading
—crooked hands grasping towards me,
begging me to join their hellfire.
“a foul creature, born of sin,
deserves to burn with the rest of its kin.”
the longer I stare at those jagged faces,
the more I start to resemble them…
.
but before I join the army of the damned,
the hands around me are suddenly softer,
colder, much unlike the flames of hell.
dreamland fades away as I come up to earth,
and his kind words push back the darkness.
.
“Do you know where you are?”
“I’m—I—I’m… my r-room.”
“Mhm, and who’s with you right now?”
“Just… just y-you-ou.”
“Yep, that’s right. Just you and me.
And while I’m here, nothing’s gonna hurt you;
Your big brother will never let anything happen to you, okay?”
“…okay..”
.
it’s his voice that grounds me, his wings that hold me,
telling me that I am home, and I am safe.
my tears levitate in his golden aura,
my darkest fears held far out of my reach.
I know I’ll be back down there soon, but at least for now,
I am wrapped up in a hug from my favorite angel.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hey Yws,, it’s been a little while since I’ve published anything. But I wrote this poem a few days ago and I wanted to share! Tbh I’m a little nervous to post on YWS again lol. If you’re wondering where I’ve been all this time, I’ve been writing a lot of fanfiction!! Mostly stuff with my ocs involved as well.
This poem is about two siblings—an older brother and a younger sister—where the brother comforts his sister after she has a nightmare. There’s a deeper explanation under the spoiler, but I’d like to see yalls own interpretations as well!
Spoiler
This is about two original characters—Vendetta (made by me) and Raphael (made by my friend Xfriki26). The two are siblings and they are fan ocs for the show Spooky Month (though it’s not important to understand this poem).
Vendetta is a mischievous little girl who’s always getting into trouble. She’s really sweet and silly and everybody loves her! But one important thing about her is that she is a human-demon hybrid, and because of her demon side, she always has this urge to cause chaos and disorder. And she has no idea that she is part demon; Vendetta feels like there’s something intrinsically “wrong” with her, and often thinks of herself as a “bad kid”. Also she has chronic nightmares about Hell, where she sees visions of demons trying to take her with them. Overall, Vendetta has a lot of demonic motifs.
On the other hand, her big brother Raphael has a lot of angelic themes. He’s named after an angel, some of his design elements represent angel wings, and he’s the only one in Vendetta’s family who isn’t a violent criminal. He’s often depicted as Vendetta’s “guardian angel” because he protects his sister from danger. Raphael also has chronic nightmares, but his are the complete opposite; he has nightmares about falling into the sky and being taken away by the cult that one of his parents works for. Because he has nightmares of his own, he helps Vendetta get through hers.
TLDR; It’s about a big brother comforting his little sister while she’s having a nightmare; it also combines angelic and demonic themes as a metaphor or symbol for each of their characters.
I love these two and their sibling relationship so much 🥺 Here’s them btw:
And here’s a random image from pinterest that reminds me of this poem (warning for bright colors / possible eyestrain):
Spoiler
Hello GengarTheGhost!
This is laced with a lot of vulnerability. Themes of dark/light and heaven/hell and cold/hot is expressed consistently throughout. The comfort the speaker's brother brings is very evident, and I like that we get a clear sense of his character through vivid descriptions, like:
I like that he's introduced more abstractly, as a comforting entity that is soon "revealed" to be the speaker's brother. Light very much exudes from him and this combats the striking descriptions of darkness, hell, etc that the speaker faces in their nightmares.
On the same note, I feel there are refinements to this that could be made. In particular, the line "the hands around me are suddenly softer, / colder" feels contradictory to the brother's otherwise warming presence? While the "colder" is combatting the blazing heat of hell, it doesn't align with his "golden aura" that is later referenced. I also thing that a comforting presence is usually warm, and I associate coldness with loneliness, sadness, etc. Perhaps neither hot/cold works, but eliminating it altogether or opting for an alternative adjective might be of benefit here.
Without reading into the enspoilered explanation of the siblings' backstory, my interpretation here is that the sister seems to be cursed either by her past or a part of her identity that haunts her. It feels more fantastical than realistic, given allusions to this with "army of the damned" and "a foul creature". Referring to the girl as a "foul creature" is interesting — seems to suggests she is not "pure" human, whether physically or mentally (eg superpowers, a curse of some sort, different DNA). And amidst all this, she finds solace in her brother's presence.
Overall, there's an interesting juxtaposition between the haunting nightmare scenes and the reassuring presence of the girl's brother. I like that it explores the familial love of a brother/sister dynamic; more often than not, it's romantic relationships that are explored in poetry, and I like that this is an ode to the speaker's brother.
Calamity
Hey there! Found this in the Green Room so thought I'd drop a review.
I specifically love the part where they converse with her, calling her a foul creature born of sin. This could be textbook manipulating but the spoiler in your comment saying how's she's half demon, makes it make a little more sense. They point out her flaw & use it to gaslight her into joining their side. She probably overthinks about her demon origins & thus the worry takes unexpected shapes appearing in her nightmares.
This was such a heartwarming poem to read. I love how the phrasing is simple and flowy. The title suggests the little girl is devoting this poem to her big brother who comforts her while she struggles with nightmares, such an endearing thought.
In the first stanza, you kick things off with some distrubing imagery of hell, which instantly hooks the reader's attention.These lines point out as soon as the day sets, heaven's gates close for the girl as the flood of hell rushes in. Her head begins to spin as she is I overwhelmed by the screams echoing in her head. This all gives us the glimpse of what all the girl endures on a daily basis, the horrors nightmares make her witness.
The second stanza shifts the narrative as she begins to understand and relate to the demons calling out to her. The noise makes it impossible to hear anything yet can interpret them pleading her to join them.
Spoiler
Truly horrifying to imagine.
The third stanza offers a much needed shift into reality as her brother arrives to snap her out of her fears. She describes his hands as cold and soft, as she had just experienced the flames of hell.
The fourth stanza is her repeating the present state of things, at the behest of her brother. I particularly like how she doesn't tell her anything and instead chooses to ask her instead. Saying the reality out aloud helps her get out of the fear of her nightmare better. It makes her aware of what's been happening, rescuing her from the world that troubles her in her nightmares. She is gradually brought to the realisation that none of it was real. Her brother assures that he'd not let anything happen to her, which soothes her fear.
Must say, you have quite a vivid imagination to think of this. Fantastic imagery.
The poem closes with her being glad of being out of her nightmare, knowing she might have to return to it eventually. But at this moment, she simply doesn't care. Nothing else matters except for being in the embrace of her big brother who has promised to not let any harm come her way.
Amazing work overall. But you should work on capitalising the first letter of each word in every line, next time. But rest everything looks great! Keep up the good work.
Hoping to read more from you in the future.