Young Writers Society

Hello! What can I say? Just wow... such a beautiful composition.
I enjoyed the layout of the poem, it's intriguing but not difficult to follow. Every word is placed with extreme care, every verse is full of depth.

" (a) ...lone girl stands, open and drenched, not knowing

whether the droplets upon each cheek

belonged to her."

Brilliant end to a brilliant poem.

You are very talented

Myers here. Let's agree to disagree, shall we?

I don't have much to review here, but I must say that it actually created that scene in my mind. It feels amazing.

It feels more like a story in the current format. I'd try breaking in down into little verses and see how it goes from there.

Free verse poetry can go anywhere the poet wants it to, so it will still look a complete work as it is.

Hi,

I LOVE when people experiment with structure. This interesting drop structure is so strong and immediately brings people into the poem. I love the word vial, it's such an interesting word, and describing yourself as a vial is such a compelling and interesting comparison. It leaves such an eerie feeling, that instead of being filled with hope that she was hoping for, she was actually filled with the opposite. I like the idea of owning the tears on your your cheek. I think it would produce a cool effect if you elaborate on the idea of rain instead of that overlapping cloud. or the fact the the tears are the rain from that cloud.


Awesome,
(sorry I reposted I didn't post as a review)
k u m a

Hi,

I LOVE when people experiment with structure. This interesting drop structure is so strong and immediately brings people into the poem. I love the word vial, it's such an interesting word, and describing yourself as a vial is such a compelling and interesting comparison. It leaves such an eerie feeling, that instead of being filled with hope that she was hoping for, she was actually filled with the opposite. I like the idea of owning the tears on your your cheek. I think it would produce a cool effect if you elaborate on the idea of rain instead of that overlapping cloud. or the fact the the tears are the rain from that cloud.


Awesome,
k u m a

It's one of the best poems I've ever read. The flow of the language is elegant and the structure is beautiful.
How did you get this idea? It'd be a little better if you would try to make it longer but still you deserve applause for it.

Whoa. Just Whoa. This is great! Like seriously great! I love the structure, the words, the imagery, the everything! It's wonderful. Just plain wonderful. *stares in awe* that's very cool. This deserves a like.

There, I clicked like! You deserved it, fren. You've got a talent like 50% of the people I know. Lol. Good job!

Hi, first of all, I'm sure you're getting this a lot but I love how it's shaped like a teardrop. It's so very creative and I love poetry that's shaped. The poem itself is so freaking good. I love your use of repetition with the beginning and the end. Restating "a lone girl stands" and then changing it is such a cool thing. Especially since it completes the raindrop shape. Your imagery is so good too. The metaphor of "She is an empty vial, waiting to be filled with hope that will only last so long." is probably my favorite part. I only have one actual qualm and it's blankets. If you meant blanket is, then I would suggest adding an apostrophe to make that clear. But other than that, that was an excellent piece! I can't wait to see what else you'll publish!

Hey there, Lee's here for a review!
Starting off, I LOVE how you've have made the entire poem structure shaped like one droplet. It's awesome!
I could not completely understand the poem. Then I felt like it was about unrequited love, but it felt very cliché. So right now, I think it is about a girl who lost everything, and faces yet another loss, but is not spared from it.
This poem actually reminds me of the Throne of Glass series's main protagonist; she faces storms of pain and loss, and is faced with an immense one once again. Then again, just my rambling thoughts.

The only thing I DIDN'T like was the line,
"A gray blankets

over what was once clear, like the darkness casting shadows within her. "
It just feels really cliché. That's all, though I wish you had written something a little more imaginative instead of that one line.
Otherwise, I loved the poem! I enjoyed the ballad-like way of presenting it, and the words you used are apt and well suited to the poem. Well done!

I'm sorry if my review was in any way critical. I meant nothing by it.
See you around!!!

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here to give you a review on this lovely day, and to help gt your work out the green room.
I'll try and make this short.

Okay let's start with what I saw that can be fixed
This sentence has one small thing that needs to be fixed.

filling her up up up until a thin stream flows from the sides.