Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Phew...I might take a break either after this one or after one more.
First Impression: Aaand we have a twist in the tale. Finally. That ominous rings true now. This should get pretty interesting. Also a great setup with this disco night thing and that news bulletin was a very creative way to do more worldbuilding.
Anyway let's get to it,
He sprang up, giving himself a headrush. He’d found a few items in the wardrobe labelled ‘Captive Benefit’. He selected a neat olive short-sleeved button down, some loose fitting black trousers and a red and yellow hat. It was round and floppy, and as he looked at himself in the full-length mirror, he realised the red was exactly the same shade as his skin. It made it look like random swirls of yellow were balanced on top of a rather oddly shaped head. But his legs itched to get moving she he twisted it around, putting a large section of the yellow at the front, and headed downstairs.
Another really interesting description there.
As they jumped around, Birt introduced Janny to pretty much every being they found themselves facing - other Finsets, whose skin it turned out came in all sorts of colours and patterns, and some were incredibly tall. There were a few Daerians - mostly Fladians in similar clothes to the ones that had been left for Janny. There were also plenty of Endoleons, with the dull greys of their skin brightened up by flowing fluourescent clothes, and their eyesight carefully guarded by dark glasses, even though the sun had long since set.
Another nice description that really helps us picture this image. This isn't a very easy thing to imagine but your description does a really good job of it.
The being adjusted some black plastic on her knuckles, which Janny couldn’t fathom the purpose of, and said, “The recent spike in SRA abduction activity is beginning to become a more documented phenomenon. Negotiations are soon to take place for the fate of a Fladian named Horlen Doal. Elsewhere, a dozen as yet unnamed Fladians are believed to be on board a single Scentian drifter.” An image flashed of a large drifter ship - almost as big as trade ships - with little stick figures overlayed above and a label to indicate that they signified the numbers of Fladians estimated to be on board. “Still, the majority of Flexies are as yet unaware of this step up in operations. Please do warn any citizens you know or meet to be vigilant.”
Very interesting developments. Now I'm wondering if it is a smart move to make the freed captive's wear things that very clearly mark them as captives. That has got to be making it more dangerous for them.
He tried to shout for help, locking eyes with as many strangers as he could, but his mouth wouldn’t open. There was some pressure holding his lips together but it didn’t stick out far enough from his face to see what it was. He got a few funny looks from the people who passed him, but nobody stopped to help. He just kept striding further, until he was right at the edge of the crowd.
Well looks like an experienced kidnapper is doing this.
At least he could see now. There were tight grey cuffs around his ankles, made of two bands stuck together of about an inch thickness each. He tried to put his hand up to whatever was on his mouth but couldn’t move his hands from his sides - there were cuffs around there too.
So he didn't notice the cuffs being put on at all?
His legs seemed to be taking him back to the hotel, but at the last moment they veered to the right and took him down a narrow alley. His vision was for a moment completely useless as he was plunged into darkness after the blue glow of break time at a Flexian disco. But his eyes were Daerian, and quick to adjust. Besides, it wasn’t hard to recognise the wide grey form of an Endoleon.
Lovely little cliffhanger right there.
Aand that's it for this one.
Overall: Another great segment of this so far really amazing sounding story. A nice bit of worldbuilding in this chapter and what promises to be the road to a climax of sorts appears to have appeared in that last paragraph there or maybe the the Endolean just wants to talk. Now let me go find out what happens next.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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