Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Aand continuing on...
First Impression: Okay interesting twist there. Looks like we are leaving the Endoleans behind. Maybe. But we can certainly say that we have begun A Janitor's adventure.
Anyway let's get to it,
Janny peered over the chair in front of him, the one occupied by the Scentian named Grescin. The single green cube in front of her wasn’t obviously a joystick, but Daerian limbs could carefully apply pressure to any surface by jutting out muscle tissue with incredible precision. A screen in front of Ennet’s chair flashed some radar signals with irritating little beeps, but neither Scentian said anything much about this. Grescin would occasionally glance towards Ennet, but there were veins popping about an inch out of Ennet’s neck and it didn’t seem to be voluntary, so she stayed quiet.
Nice bit of description there to set the scene here.
“Hush!” Ennet snapped, as Janny spun around.
That was uncalled for. He was understandably shocked Ennet.
“The window is closer in. We… must view… the hole!” Grescin explained, her words coming slowly as her eyes screwed up. Janny reckoned that meant the window was showing a zoomed in display, like on a computer screen. Though he wasn’t sure what the hole had to do with. He certainly hoped it wasn’t some sort of hole in their craft.
Oh my god. I love the attention to detail with these translations. They are so funny but still very realistic. The humor doesn't seem forced at all.
“Turn, buddy,” Grescin said.
Wait so he can't recognize a turn? Or is this ship that different from the one he was on previously?
Eventually they started to approach a thin asteroid belt, hardly a belt really - more like a necklace. Except, the string was invisible and the beads were craggy lumps of rock floating along in space.
Nice little description there.
As they got closer Janny started to notice a few more shadows within that patch of black, and after a moment Janny realised that you couldn’t have shadows in a big black circle. Shadows had to have light on either side in order to be picked out as shadows and that meant… there was the light! Now that they were level with the black hole - because it clearly was the opening of a tunnel - Janny saw that there were the ends of some fluorescent tubes poking out from around a sharp bend. He was staring straight down a rough black tunnel, with enough light coming around a corner to cast shadows.
Great description and great deduction Janny. Good job!!
Ennet parked the craft on a ledge just to the left of the doorway and looked up at Janny. “The object you’re seeing over there is the mound of stuff brought to us last cycle by a passing SRA cell.”
Janny frowned. “And you haven’t sorted through it?”
Wait from here it suggests that he understood what the SRA cell was. If he's going to question it later he should probably be more confused here.
Janny tilted his head to the side. “Oh, I guess that is a good question. What is the SRA? And wait, were you not planning to take me home?”
Uh oh.
Aaand that's it.
Overall: Okay. Some interesting developments. We are starting to get a sense of the personalities of Grescin and Ennet as well which is great. Let's see how this story unfolds.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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